Page 83 of Smoky Mountain Dreams

Jesse stroked a hand over Christopher’s hair. “You get a lotof attention now up on that stage. I guess you crave it after being in theshadows so long?”

Christopher shifted against Jesse’s warm body. “I don’t wantto talk about that. Tell me more about when you were teenagers.”

Jesse was quiet for a few moments, and then chuckled softly.“I remember this one time when we were seventeen or so, we hiked up into themountains on one of her favorite trails, and we free climbed this rock wall. Idon’t know what the hell we were thinking. It probably wasn’t high enough tokill us if we fell, but a broken neck wouldn’t have been out of the question.”

“Do you still like to hike?”

Jesse shrugged. “I take the kids up. Nothing too strenuous.We camp out sometimes, but Brigid isn’t that into it. She says it’s scary. Ithink the night feels too big to her up there. She’s timid. Will loves itthough.”

“Will’s not timid, that’s for sure.”

“No. He’d probably jump out of a plane without a parachuteif someone told him it’d be fun. Gotta keep my eye on that kid.”

“Was that it? Just reckless thrill seeking? Was theredrinking? Drugs?”

“Oh, we drank all right. Drugs—well, we did our fair sharewhen we were traveling in Europe, I guess. But getting high wasn’t ever mything. I was doing internships with jewelers, and I needed to have a clearhead. My metabolism was good enough back then that alcohol cleared off prettyfast, but most drugs I played with left me feeling awful. Marcy hated the waymarijuana slowed her down, and cocaine didn’t do much for her at all. We triedacid once with some guy I was screwing in Paris, but it was weird. Neither ofus liked it. After Brigid, though, we didn’t mess with any drugs. I haven’tmissed that kind of thing.”

“Tell me about Europe?”

“Oh God, it was amazing. We were dumb and young and ready tothrow ourselves at life. It was fantastic seeing the world.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Yeah. Well, no. I mean, I think about taking the kidseventually or…well, the other day I was thinking how much I’d like seeing youon the beach in the Riviera.”

Christopher’s palms tingled. “You did?”

“I know—it’s fast for thoughts like that. But I want to giveyou things, take you places, and listen to you sing for as long as you’ll letme. Does that sound like too much?”

“No, because I want that too. I want to take you to meet myGran, and go places with you, and sing you all my songs,” Christopherwhispered, his heart pounding. “I want to be there for you and for your kids.And it’s all too soon, I know, but I want it anyway.”

Jesse’s fingers on Christopher’s chin were tender as hetilted his head up for a kiss. It was slow and sweet, with gentle lips and softtongue, and it didn’t advance to something more, like Jesse was enjoying justtasting him and nuzzling his face.

When he pulled away, Christopher pressed his head back toJesse’s chest, listening to his heart again. “What made you go out in the worldlike that back then?”

“I think my father was onto something when he said I wasrebelling against him. Once I settled my part of the business with Paul, andonce I married Marcy and the kids came, it didn’t seem important anymore.Hilariously enough, a year or two ago my father told me he no longer gave adamn if I liked to suck cock. So there just doesn’t seem to be any point intrying to get a rise out of him if that’s true. And who has the time forrebelling these days? I’m a little busy with fatherhood and the shop and makingsure that Marcy gets the best care.”

“Biggest thrill you get these days is the Firebender at SMD,huh?”

“Well, my work has its moments,” Jesse said. Then he moved,grabbing hold of Christopher and pushing him down onto his back. “And this ispretty intense.” Jesse’s eyes were hot and focused, and Christopher’s dickfattened and his asshole spasmed in reaction. “You and me. This.”

Christopher swallowed. Itwasintense. He supposed thrilling would be an appropriate word. “So…this is a bigrisk for you?”

“Yeah. It is. I already have a lot to lose here, andadmitting that just ups the ante.”

“Can you deal with it?”

“I guess I’ve got the constitution for it. I bungee jumpedat Victoria Falls, after all.”

Christopher found himself grinning. “Crazy former thrillseeker.”

“Why are you being so nice about all this?” Jesse blurted.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I was shocked, but I’m here for you,okay? I want to be.”

Jesse gazed intently as he brushed back Christopher’s hair. “Why?”

“Because when you look at me, I feel like you actually seeme. No one ever sees me, but you do. I feel like you always have.” In thatmoment, with Jesse’s weight pressing him down, Christopher felt more groundedandseenthan maybe he ever had.