Page 138 of Smoky Mountain Dreams

“Mom and I are done. This doesn’t change that. Jackie mightneed me, but probably not. She and Gran weren’t as close.”

“Then maybe you need to let Jackie be there for you.”

Christopher shrugged. She’d never been there for him untiljust very recently. How to explain that he couldn’t exactly trust that it wouldlast, though Joe’s influence was likely to last as long as their marriage, andit seemed solid. He closed his eyes, blocking out the ugly hotel room curtains,and the waning sunshine that crept through them. “Can you get the lights? Iwant to nap now.”

“Whatever you need.” Jesse kissed his ear and slid out ofbed. “I promise,” he said, after he’d turned off the lights, tightened thecurtains, and curled up behind Christopher. “Anything for you.”

Chapter Twenty-seven

CHRISTOPHERSTOPPED IN HIS TRACKSas they made their way into the chapel for thefuneral. “Uh-oh,” he murmured.

“What?” Jesse asked.

“My dad and his new—and wow, very young and, I guess,beautiful—girlfriend.” He glanced at his mother. Christopher had somehowimagined in that should his father show Sammie Mae would pitch such a fit thatthe service would be delayed and possibly even canceled. But she was alreadyseated in the front row and his father was near the rear. He bet she hadn’tseen him yet, or if she had, she’d decided to take the high road.

Christopher thought Gran might’ve actually been a littledisappointed if she’d been there to witness how civilly everyone was behaving.

Of course the looks he and Jesse garnered when they walkedin together were pretty spectacular, really. Heads did double-takes, whisperswhipped through the pews, and Bob turned a terrifying shade of apoplectic red.But, shockingly, no actual drama was made, and though both Bob and Sammie Maedidn’t acknowledge Christopher’s existence, neither did they refuse him andJesse places in the family pews near the front of the chapel.

Chaplain Peters gave a nice, amusing talk about Gran and hercontributions to the nursing home’s environment, and expressed that her roommateEdna missed her desperately. Christopher didn’t know why that was the commentthat turned on his waterworks, but he went stiff and still in his seat,fighting the tears, as Jesse gripped his hand and squeezed.

Aunt Laurie Ann had been a bit cold to Christopher thatweekend, which wasn’t her usual way at all. He’d have written it off to grief,except that he could tell by the way Jackie kept glancing nervously betweenAunt Laurie Ann and Christopher that the news of his homosexuality had finallymade it out amongst the extended family. It hurt, but not as much as the factthat his Gran was in the box at the front of the chapel and he’d never, ever,ever get to talk to her again. Never hold her hand. Never laugh at hernonsense. Never be scolded by her ever again.

Don’t count me out, boy. I’ll scold youuntil your dying day.

Christopher pressed a hand to his mouth to keep back a sob,turning his head away from the sight of Lee, Joe, and three other strong menlifting the casket. He hadn’t been asked to carry it, and he was glad. He knewhe’d have wept in front of everyone if he’d tried. Jesse squeezed his hand.

Then it was over and all that was left was to walk out ofthe chapel and get into Jesse’s car. Christopher knew he should talk to hisfather, but he didn’t have it in him. There wasn’t going to be a gravesideservice, and his duties were done. He could visit her grave again later whenshe was resting in it, and he supposed he would probably do just that. Say hisreal goodbye in private. Sing “In The Garden” for her all by himself. But nowhe needed to escape with Jesse and get away from everyone, and everything.Maybe cry, or maybe just find some way to laugh, because he wasn’t going tokeep on being so very grim.

Gran wouldn’t have liked it.

Jesse whispered, “That wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined basedon what you’ve told me about your family,” as they stepped through the door andout into the snapping cold of the December afternoon.

“Christopher! Wait!”

It was Jackie.

Jesse said, “You don’t have to stay and talk. You don’t haveto do anything.”

“It’s okay.”

Jackie hurried across the parking lot toward them, her heelsclicking on the pavement, and her black, swinging dress blowing in the wind.Christopher could see the goose flesh on her arms and Joe trailing behind withher coat and his three kids.

“Hey, Jackie, sorry,” Christopher said as she grabbed holdof him in a hug. “I just gotta get out of here.” He gazed over shoulder atwhere Sammie Mae and Bob were lingering on the church steps, shaking people’shands and looking suitably grieved. Christopher knew that for his mother atleast it wasn’t an act.

“I just…oh, Christopher,” Jackie sighed and hugged him tightlyagain. She pulled away and took his face in her cold hands, her eyes examininghim closely. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be all right.”

Jackie swallowed hard. “You know what Mama said about younot being welcome—”

“Don’t, Jackie.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter to me what she said. You’re welcomein my home always. Do you understand me?”

Christopher looked down at his feet and then met her eyes. “AmI?”

“Of course you are. And your…what is it called? Partner?Boyfriend? He’s welcome too.” She cast a shy glance toward Jesse. “You know,you haven’t properly introduced us yet.”