Page 12 of Smoky Mountain Dreams

Amanda’s brown eyes followed him relentlessly. Jesse couldalmost feel her brain cataloguing his every muscle twitch looking for meaning. “C’mon.Didn’t you think he was cute?”

“Of course.”

Amanda perched on the side of his desk. She was blessedlysilent for a precious few seconds, but by the time Jesse had pulled out thevelvet roll with the bracelet he was repairing she was talking again.

“I mean, he was gay, right? Because he seemed kind of gay.”

Jesse held the loupe to his eye and inspected the diamondthat was loose along the edge of the clasp. He could see now that he should’veplaced it a bit higher to avoid this issue. Nothing to do but repair it now.

“He ‘seemed gay’? What does that even mean, Amanda?”

“It means he seemed…I don’t know. He didn’t look at me theway men who are into women look at me.”

“So, you’re assuming that because he wasn’t interested inlooking at your lovely bosom that he’s into men.”

“Yes. Well, that and the way he looked at you instead.”

Jesse grabbed the pliers and pulled gently at the edges ofthe rim of gold holding the diamond in place. He’d have been better off makingthe bracelet in platinum, but the client had requested twenty-four karat. Thatwas part of the problem too. The gold was too soft, and was getting dented withaccidental bangs against tables and doors. It wasn’t his best work.

“He was gay,” Jesse conceded.

“And it was a date he was asking you for at the door, notjust some bro-dude friendly coffee outing. When was the last time you went on adate?”

“Bro-dudes don’t ask their friends for coffee outings,Amanda. They ask them to ballgames, or to come over for pizza and football. Andnot all straight guys are bro-dudes. And, believe it or not, some gay guysarebro-dudes. You’re stereotyping again.”

“What do you know about straight guys?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“Come on. Now you’re just messing with me to be a jerk. Ifyou slept with them, then they aren’t straight.”

“You can’t put people in boxes like that.” Jesse put downhis work, and leaned back in his seat. “Not everyone gets their rocks off forjust one type of body or just one type of person. A guy can be mostly straight,dig women, and still occasionally close his eyes while getting sucked off byanother guy. Or a guy can mostly like other guys, fall in love with a woman,and enjoy sex with her too. Life is messy, okay? Stop trying to make it soclean all the time.”

Amanda was quiet for a few minutes, and Jesse started towork again. He picked at the edge of the gold, pulling it away from thediamond. There were better ways to do this. He was doing more damage than good,but part of him wanted to chuck the bracelet and start over from scratch, andhe was taking his frustration out on the setting.

“Were you straight? When you were with Marcy for all thoseyears? Did you consider yourself straight then?”

Jesse clenched his jaw, sweat breaking out on his forehead,and his chest aching.

Amanda went on, “Because since…well, it’s only been mensince. And I’ve wondered.”

“It’s none of your business. You’re my employee, and I’myour employer. This conversation is completely inappropriate .”

“I’m yoursister,” Amanda said,rolling her eyes.

“All the more inappropriate then.”

“You loved Marcy. I know you did. I’m not saying you didn’t,Jesse.”

“Just leave,” he said, though his voice lacked anger, havingdefaulted to resignation already. “I have work to do.”

Amanda stood, and Jesse had a brief moment of hope that theconversation was over and she really would leave without another word. But ithad never been like Amanda to cede the field without a parting shot.

“He was cute. You should’ve gone. When’s the last time youwere on a real date, with a real person, who was really interested in you? It’sall dirty, secret, furtive stuff that you’re ashamed of later.”

Jesse bit his cheek to keep from saying something he’dregret. Besides, she was wrong. He was notashamed.He was just realistic. A man he got a blow job from in a bar bathroom was not aman he took home to his kids, or introduced to his friends, or let meet Tim andNova.

She went on, “Youdeserveto behappy, Jesse. What happened to Marcy…it wasn’t your fault.”