Page 30 of Smoky Mountain Dreams

“No. It’s not quite like that.”

“Then what’s it like?” Christopher felt his hackles go up.He’d kissed this man, sucked him off, laughed with him—hell, he’d started tohopethings about him. He’d even gotten acell phonefor Christ’s sake, and the man was, what? In anopen marriage? Cheating on his wife?

Jesse seemed to sense the change in Christopher. “No, it’snot like that either. Let me explain. Give me a second.” He took another longgulp of his cider. “It’s been a long time since I had to put it in words. Mywife—Marcy—she’s… She was in an accident.”

“Oh. Oh God,” Christopher felt his face go soft withempathy. He wanted to reach out and touch Jesse’s hand, but he didn’t know ifthat’d be welcome, so he took another sip of his margarita.

Jesse nodded. “Yeah. It was five years ago this past April.A motorcyclist wasn’t looking where he was going and came over the center line.She ran off the road to avoid him. The tire blew. She lost control of the car.Went over the mountain.”

“God, I’m so sorry.”

“There was a lot of brain trauma. The kids…”

“The kids?” Christopher said, his stomach in his throat.Surely Jesse hadn’t lost his wife and his kids—it would be too much for anyoneto bear. And Christopher felt like such an ass for having managed to bring itup on what should have been a fun date.

“They weren’t with her. But it’s been hard for them.Obviously. Losing their mother like that.”

“Of course. And for you too.”

“Yeah.” Jesse stared up at the mountain, swallowing thickly.

His eyes looked so sad, and Christopher’s stomach twistedand heart ached for being the reason Jesse had that look on his face. “Hey, wedon’t have to talk about this.”

“You should know.” Jesse looked pained and a littlesurprised. “I’d rather you heard it from me than someone else. There was a lotof brain damage—too much. She went into a permanent vegetative state. There’snothing they can do when that happens, and she —”

“It’s okay,” Christopher interrupted. God, he couldn’timagine what it would be like to have someone he loved die like that. He puthis hand up when Jesse looked like he might go on. “We can talk about this moreanother time. It’s our first real date. The very beginning of our first date.We don’t need to delve into something so painful so fast. Let’s just, I don’tknow, let’s try to get back to a happier topic. We’re here together, and it’s abeautiful night. Let’s enjoy it and see where things go.”

Jesse measured him with his eyes and then gave a strongaffirmative nod, and relaxed in his chair. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Of course it does. I always make sense. I’m incrediblysensible.” Jesse’s eyes sparkled. Relief was a breeze under Christopher’s skin.He was very curious to know if Jesse was bi, or if he’d been one of those menwho married young before realizing his true nature. But he wanted to lightenthe mood—there’d be time for serious discussions later. Yes, later was good. Hebit his lower lip and looked up through his lashes. “And I think you like that.I think you find that attractive.”

Jesse lifted his eyebrows. “I like the way you flirt.”

Christopher took a sip of his drink, pleased to be away fromconversations about dead wives. “I got a ‘B’ in Flirtation 101 when I was incollege. Apparently my style’s a little ridiculous and overly forward.”

“Where’d you take that course?”

“University of Hopelessly Unlaid and Horny. It’s got aselect enrolment and hardly anyone goes on to the graduate program of Laid andSatisfied. It’s a loser school.”

“You’re too hot to be a loser.”

“Oh, you’d totally get a ‘C’ for that comment. Lacking insubtlety. But I liked it.” Christopher’s stomach was fluttering like mad, andhe hoped that the night ended with him graduating to Laid and Satisfied thistime at least.

Sarah arrived to take their order, and Christopher smiled asJesse handed over the menu to her, saying, “You know what I want. Tell Miguelto keep the spice level down to a five tonight, if you please.”

Christopher ordered the guacamole salad and anothermargarita, betting that his meal, plus the chips and salsa, would be enoughfood to ensure his sobriety. He didn’t want too much alcohol to ruin hischances for the night. He leaned forward. If he knew anything about parents, heknew one way to get them to smile. “Tell me about your kids.”

Sure enough, Jesse’s mouth turned up and his eyes twinkled. “Doyou really want to know or are you just being polite?”

“I’d love to hear about them. I like children.” It seemedlike the kind of thing to get out up front, a way of sayingyour kids are not a deal breaker for me!“My step-nieceand nephews are awesome, and I love all the little kids at SMD. They get soexcited. They make everything so much more fun.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jesse said. “But kids also make thehard things harder, and the painful things more painful, because you have tosee them hurting too. Of course, they also give you a reason, a compelling one,to make it through.”

“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

Jesse took a sip of his cider. “It’s something you learn onthe job, so to speak.” He shrugged, looking up at the mountains again. “Youlearn really fast how to be strong for someone else. You have to be theirpillar.”

“You must have been pretty young when they came along.”