Page 8

Nell had passed the Meadow Drive Subdivision on the regular when she still had her car.

Minnie grew up in a rundown small two-bedroom house half a mile down the same road, so Nell’d spent most of her life going past here.

However, it’d been a while, and driving down the road again, more than three months since the last time, made her grip tighten on the bike handles.

Without many lights around the area, it was difficult to make out many details about the different houses. A couple of them had lights outside, but thanks to the white van parked haphazardly in front of a house with a light on, she knew she’d found her destination.

Being in an area like this would have made her anxious last year, but the disconnect of rational thinking was affecting her ability to deem what was worth avoiding or not.

As she approached, she flung her leg off the bike and walked it the rest of the way to the small house, and leaned it against the side paneling. Recorded drums and synth of some rock song thumped from inside.

She stuffed her hands into her jacket pocket and walked up the steps, until she could tap three hard knocks onto the door.

Despite the loud music, she heard a clatter and the sound of hurried movement.

She even thought she heard a curse right on the other side of the door.

Seconds later, it flung open, and she was face to face once again with Barrett.

He looked down at her, panting a little like he’d been in a rush, and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she said.

They both stood, quiet, looking at each other. Nell raised her brows and waited patiently for him to invite her in, but he seemed like he was thinking really hard about something, and it was a bit rude to interrupt someone even if it was in their thoughts.

“Oh.” He snapped out of whatever he was doing and straightened, and finally stepped aside, gesturing politely for her to enter. “Come in.”

She nodded and walked the rest of the way up the steps into the house. She looked around, taking in the place. She wasn’t sure how to explain it, but it fit Barrett perfectly.

Lit by dying dim bulbs, the area had a softer feel to it and at the same time felt somewhat unsteady. Despite its rougher exterior, the interior wasn’t nearly as dirty and rundown as she’d expected.

Random baubles adorned the walls, and the TV tied the whole thing together, making it a full and comfy environment.

Barrett fidgeted with this and that like he was embarrassed by the state of the place. “Sorry, I didn’t clean much.” He ran a hand through his mane of hair and chuckled awkwardly as he led her further into the living space. He wasn’t looking to see the way her lips tilted up, amused.

Nell wasn’t oblivious to her privileged life—loving parents, an obnoxiously large house, and if she wanted something, she never had to worry about her ability to get it. Barrett’s place offered a nice break from that, the kind she’d been grasping for.

Rough around the edges, the house was a breath of fresh air from the suffocation she’d been feeling under her parents’ pristine roof.

The scent of cigarettes was better than her mother’s detergent, and she found the organized disarray better than the sparkling cleanliness her parents hid behind.

It was transparent, and comfy, and honest. Just like Barrett, who picked something off the couch cushion and stuffed it into his pocket, so she couldn’t see it, before gesturing for her to take a seat.

She’d never in her life imagined she would prefer Barrett to anyone else, but he was probably the only person she knew who wouldn’t try to talk her out of her bad choices.

He had everything to gain and nothing to lose by letting her fall into self-destruction. She was the one with cash in her pocket, and rumor had it he never turned down a solid buck.

She sat on the hard couch and adjusted herself into a comfortable position as he fluttered around her, gathering some things from the side table and whisking them to a garbage can. She huffed a soft laugh.

Barrett, a supposed satanic cultist, ran around like a chicken with his head cut off to tidy things around her. He was about as distracting as drugs.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Nell said while he wiped down the coffee table with a rag. “I don’t mind.”

He paused and looked up at her, a sheepish smile on his face. “Right, sorry.” He rubbed his palms along the sides of his jeans and backed away. “I’ll go grab the stuff.”

He turned and disappeared through the kitchen. After some shuffling down the hall, Barrett was back with a small bag in hand. He held it up and grinned, throwing it onto the coffee table, where it landed with a soft rustle.

Nell pitched forward in her seat to get a better look. The contents of the baggie were dark-greenish clumps of herbs.

She frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Barrett asked. Despite there being plenty of space next to Nell on the sofa, he’d taken a seat on the hard ground instead, where he had the perfect view of her disappointment.

She blinked rapidly, a little embarrassed he’d caught her dissatisfaction. He frowned too, blinking up at her with big brown eyes.

“Nothing.” She bit her lip and looked away so he couldn’t see her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him lean forward, so she had nowhere to turn and he could see her face.

“I can tell you’re lying.”

“It’s just … I thought you’d have something stronger,” she mumbled, not wanting to upset him. She wasn’t good at telling people no.

To her surprise, he laughed. She turned to see him leaning back with his legs out in front of him and his lands propping him up.

“Of course I do. Just not for you.”

She furrowed her brows, now looking at him straight on. “What?”

“Normally, I wouldn’t care. But there’s no way I’m letting you go straight into that shit your first time.” He shrugged.

“Is it that bad?”

He blinked, his mouth open. “Oh, darling, and that right there is why we’re starting with this.” He picked up the bag and opened it up. “Some simple dope.”

Nell said nothing because if she tried, she would trip over her words. It was embarrassing how little she knew about this stuff, especially since she was the one who’d practically begged Barrett to sell it to her out of desperation.

Any high was better than no high.

“Fine.” She sat up straighter. “Dope it is.”

He nodded and grabbed a stack of small papers she hadn’t really noticed, before sitting on the table.

While she watched, he pulled some of the weed out of the bag and placed it on the paper.

With a few expert moves, it was rolled up and combined into a seemingly perfect joint that he held out to her between ring-studded fingers.

She looked from it to him, his long, dark lashes especially apparent in the light. He nodded to urge her on.

For a second, she doubted herself. She would have never imagined herself in this position: considering accepting a joint from Scott Barrett alone in his house.

This wasn’t who she was a year ago.

But she’d become many things in less than a year, and a nervous disaster was one of them.

The tightening in her chest reminded her of that.

It reminded her of all the times she’d collapsed, trying to breathe, but her body wouldn’t let her.

It reminded her of all the times the world felt like it would end in her locked bedroom.

It reminded her that Barrett and these little bits of herbs in a rolled-up paper were one way out.

So, she reached forward and took it in her hand.

Barrett watched her carefully, like he expected her to freak out and run away, but she stayed strong and pinched it. It was a bit bulkier than the cigarettes in her pocket, but the feeling of positioning it for a light was natural.

With a soft nod she confirmed her acceptance, and Barrett reached into his pocket and pulled out a small pack of matches, before flicking one on the serrated edge and lighting it.

The flame took to the joint immediately, and as it did, she wrapped her lips around it. She inhaled the sweet, pungent smoke and held it before sucking it in the rest of the way.

The first time she’d tried a cigarette, she coughed for five minutes straight and thought she was going to die. Compared to that, her first time with weed was effortless. She leaned back into the couch cushions, Barrett’s eyes trained on her the entire time.

She exhaled, sending a thin stream out. “How long does it take?”

“You’ll start to feel it in about five.”

She hoped he meant minutes because the faster she could lift this rock off her body, the better. She took another deep drag and closed her eyes, willing it to affect her.

“Oh!”

She opened her eyes to see him hopping off into the kitchen.

“I almost forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

“Your snacks.” He rushed into the kitchen, and she watched him open a cabinet and pull out a few bags and boxes.

Collecting them all unsteadily in his arms, he came back and spread them along the table next to the drugs.

She spotted a few candies, Doritos, and even a fudge bar in there under a bag of Pop Rocks.

“I picked out a few different options since I wasn’t sure what you like. ”

She stared at them, unsure how to feel about it. If he’d gone out and bought these for her, it felt strange, yet at the same time kind of . . . touching. Though she didn’t understand why.

“Snacks?”

“You’ll get hungry. Trust me.”

She nodded. Now that he mentioned it, she had heard of the munchies. It was a well-known side effect of marijuana. She’d forgotten about it when she was so focused on just clearing her head.

What other side effects were there?

Who cares.

“Thanks.” She adjusted so her thighs sat on her hands, as he nodded and gave her a closed-mouthed smile, then waited in silence for the high to hit her.

But she’d never known Barrett as the quiet type. She wasn’t sure what had led her to believe he would stay quiet.

MTV in the background changed to a new song.