Page 43

They only had a few days to prepare Nell for an hour-long drive to Bellevue.

She wasn’t confident, but she was desperate.

Barrett opened the passenger door. She knew how he looked at her: biting his lips, scanning her with concern, and hesitating before he shut the door in case she changed her mind at the last second.

Not that she blamed him. She’d given him no reason not to think that she wouldn’t turn around and break down the second she sat down in the passenger seat. She’d done that exact thing last time.

The difference was, she had a destination in sight this time. Straight forward, onto the freeway, and away from Gemsburg to Bellevue in two days.

There, she hoped to forget for a few days. Everything. Be normal.

It’s all she wanted.

So when she pulled herself into the van and took a deep breath— in through the nose, out through the mouth —hope and Barrett’s hand on hers as he started the engine made it possible.

She wasn’t the only one with a destination, it turned out.

Barrett drove with purpose onto the road.

“I thought about it last night,” he said as he passed the same spot where Nell had broken down last time.

She knew he was trying to distract her, and it worked. She stared at him instead of outside, admiring his strong nose and side profile. She clung to his hand, squeezing it so hard she was surprised he didn’t complain.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

“Don’t quote me on this, but I think the only way to get rid of bad associations is to replace them with good ones.”

Nell counted each breath she took. She tried to say something, but it came out a quizzical hum instead.

“When was the last time you went to the drive-in?”

“Drive-in?” Nell blinked, surprised. That wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. She took a deep breath before managing to form the words without overthinking them. “Probably last summer, with Johnny Matthews.”

Barrett took his eyes off the road, his face twisted into something unrecognizable, and pointed out the window. “Okay, all the more reason to do this then.”

Neon lights of the drive-in flashed a large arrow guiding the entrance drive into the parking area past the ticket booth.

She forgot all about taking deep breaths. Drive-ins had always been a summer activity. She’d never been in October. “They’re open this time of year?”

Barrett chuckled. “Only this week, for Scare-a-thon . They started it last year, only for the week leading up to Halloween. I can’t believe you didn’t know.”

She couldn’t believe it either. Yet here she was. Somewhere normal.

Not her house, not Toni’s garage, or the quarry. Somewhere different. And she was still sitting in the passenger seat, and her breathing was almost normal.

They parked a few rows back, with the back of Barrett’s van facing the screen.

Nell stared at her surroundings: the other cars, the people sitting in lawn chairs or in truck beds or just in the front seats, couples and families and friends. All out here, a fifteen-minute drive from her house.

A fifteen-minute drive.

“ I made it. ” She turned to Barrett, and his expression wrapped her in warmth.

He leaned in. “Yes, you did.” He pecked her lips.

She pouted as he pulled away too soon. After all that, she felt she deserved at least a full-on kiss. She was going to voice her dissatisfaction, but he was already climbing out of the car.

“Come on, let’s sit in the back.”

Following his lead, Nell hopped out of the passenger side and walked around to the back of the van. She’d expected it to be empty, but when he opened the doors, she was met with a pile of blankets and pillows stacked together in a layered nest.

For the back of a van usually meant to transport instruments, it was quite cozy. She reached out and patted the blanket pile, finding it pleasantly soft. On the side, there were a couple beers and bags of treats and chips.

He’d prepared.

A pair of arms startled her delight, wrapping around her waist from behind. Her heart fluttered as Barrett pulled her against his chest, his familiar scent enveloping her as his chin rested on her shoulder. He hummed in approval at the masterful setup, the sound ringing through her body.

She blinked, not sure how to respond.

She’d dated quite a bit, but no one had ever held her so affectionately before. So comfortably. No one had ever done something this . . . romantic before.

What was left of the tension from the drive flushed from her body as she gave in and leaned back into his hold.

His voice lowered into a cocky husk. “I bet Johnny Matthews never did anything like this, did he?”

Nell craned her neck as best as she could to face him and caught him peering down at her through the bottom of his dark lashes. She understood that look now. “Are you jealous of Johnny Matthews?”

“He got to take you out before me. Of course I am.”

She turned to face him, his arms remaining diligently around her. “Johnny Matthews was a terrible kisser and always smelled like a doctor’s office. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.”

Barrett’s brow rose. “All I got from that was that you kissed Johnny Matthews, and I hate that even more.”

Nell giggled. Pushing onto her tiptoes, she caught his mouth. She felt his lips turn upwards as they softly pulled her in for a few lingering seconds.

The moment she pulled away, he winked. Her heart stumbled over itself.

Oh, he was clever when he wanted to be. He knew how to distract her.

He helped her into the back of the van, making sure she was comfortable in the nest before he kicked off his boots and settled in next to her.

She was overly aware of his body’s heat warming the chilly autumn air around them. One might be worried about freezing when the temperatures dropped, but she never had to worry about that next to him.

Her own blood heated to abnormal degrees when he scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her, holding her close to his side.

She leaned into his shoulder and watched as the movie began.

Not for long, though.

Five minutes in, she was burying her face into Barrett’s shoulder, hiding from the ugly, horrific creature on the screen.

“Is this a scary movie?”

Barrett chuckled. “It is called a Scare-a-thon .” He shifted under her, probably to look at her. There was a pause, then he sat up straight, and she was forced to move with him. His mouth was open in surprise. “Wait, do you not like horror?”

Nell winced as something jumped out on the screen from the corner of her eye and turned her face further away. “Why would anyone want to scare themselves on purpose?”

Barrett stared, puzzled.

Then he cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I didn’t think this one through.” He laughed.

She wasn’t staring so much at him as she was at the pillow behind him. She did not want to chance seeing again whatever that thing on the screen was.

He grasped her cheeks and pulled her closer until she had no choice but to meet his crinkled, amused eyes. He planted another fleeting kiss on her lips. “How about we get out of here?”

Nell smiled sheepishly. “Are you sure? You wanted to come here.”

“No, I wanted to come here with you . To create good memories in a car. Not scare the shit out of you and make it worse.” He kissed her cheek, then her nose. “Let’s go. I know somewhere much better.”

* * *

That “somewhere much better” turned out to be their usual spot at the quarry.

The entire drive was much easier than the one to the drive-in. No, it wasn’t perfect. Better, but not great.

She clung to his hand too tightly to be comfortable, but it was Barrett, and he understood.

He distracted her as they drove, bringing up new topics anytime she closed her eyes or inhaled sharply or squeezed his fingers. And it worked.

Her breaths didn’t have to be so deep to actually connect her lungs to her body. She didn’t feel like she might faint if she looked out the window.

When she did get the sudden gruesome image flashing in the back of her mind, which was inevitable, she just had to look at Barrett for it to fade away.

He parked the van so the trunk faced the quarry’s edge.

She’d doubted when he said it was much better. They’d been there dozens of times with the guys. How could it be better?

She doubted . . . until he opened the trunk doors.

Somehow, this familiar view had taken on a new life because of how he’d parked right against the edge of where the quarry fell.

It really was much better .

Instead of a movie screen, they peered out over the dark quarry and the twinkling sky of stars its darkness enhanced so well. They reflected off the still water, creating the illusion that they were sitting on the edge of the galaxy.

This late in the year, the usual crickets and frogs in the area had long left to die off or hibernate, leaving them adrift in the silence of space.

It was just them.

That, in itself, made it the best memory she’d had in a long, long time.

Barrett sat back and took her with him, his arm around her once again and her head leaning against his shoulder as they stared at the stars like they were telling a story of their own.

They sat in silence for a while.

Nell closed her eyes and inhaled. It was hard to completely forget that she was in a car. It smelled like one, it moved like one, and it felt like one. In two days, she would be in this very van for over an hour.

But, for the first time, that felt possible. As long as Barrett was there.

Barrett was partially right—creating new, good memories in a car helped—but what he didn’t realize was that he was her good memory.

It would have to be him or nothing at all.

“What do you miss most about them?”

Nell’s eyes snapped open. Her calm, deep breaths shuddered then quickened. “What?”

She’d come here to forget. Not remember something like that.

Barrett pulled back to look at her, caution guarding his face. “I know how it sounds but . . . it’s the bad things that are hurting you. So, for tonight, let’s just talk about the good ones.”