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It was the first bearable weekend in a month.

Instead of withering away for three days in her bedroom, Nell had put the bottle down early and joined her parents for Sunday dinner.

Her mother fluttered around the room, chattering on about this and that, but grinning the entire time as she set the table. She only stopped talking for Nell’s dad to say grace, but as soon as they said their amens, she was there again.

“I guess you’re feeling better this week?” she asked as Nell took a bite of her potatoes.

Yes, she felt better. She felt amazing. She even had an appetite. She’d thought she might never enjoy eating again, but right now that baked potato was heavenly.

When she smiled, it was genuine. “Yeah, I had a pretty good week.”

Her mother sighed dramatically, like a massive weight lifted off her chest and let her breathe fully again—similar to how Nell felt after Barrett had kissed her.

She’d sighed more times this weekend than ever before, all deep and dream-like.

“I’d love to meet your friends sometime.”

Nell’s fork paused. A piece of cheese fell off in her hesitation. “Really?”

Her mom nodded furiously. “You always seem happier after you’ve been with them. Maybe at dinner next Sunday! What do you think, George?”

Nell’s father nodded, his face holding a softer version of her mother’s smile. “That’s a great idea, dear.”

Their attention turned back to her, awaiting an answer.

Nell swallowed, wincing as a too-big piece of potato went down rougher than usual. She coughed, giving herself time to find an excuse.

In a perfect world, she would bring the guys over, and her parents would hug them and serve them steaks and potatoes and pink lemonade, and they would all laugh and enjoy themselves.

They would love Barrett.

But this world was far from perfect. They would take one look at her friends and scream.

It was impossible.

She couldn’t lose more friends.

“That sounds great, but they’re actually out of town on the weekends. Maybe another time.”

Her mother’s giddy smile fell into a pout. “That’s too bad. Maybe during the week then?”

Nell opened her mouth to make another excuse, but she saw the sparkle of hope in her mother’s eyes, and with the rare good mood in the house, she didn’t want to be the one to spoil it for once.

“I’ll ask them when they’re free,” she lied. Some lies were worth it. Like telling children Santa existed. It didn’t hurt to believe otherwise, just prolonged the magic.

Her mother beamed. “Well, that’d be wonderful.” She paused as she finished the last of her food.

Nell was also savoring the last bites herself but caught the conspiratorial glance her parents shared. “What?”

They both cleared their throats. “Janelle, do you have time tonight?”

Her eyes skipped between them, cautious. They knew she had time. She had so much time it drove her insane when Barrett and the guys were out of town, and she’d just revealed that they weren’t even in town. “I guess. Why?”

“Would you like to go on a walk?” her mom asked. “It’s such nice weather today, and we thought we could enjoy it as a family before it gets too cold. Just like we used to.”

Nell blinked.

It’d been years since they’d gone on a family walk. The last time was likely when she was in ninth grade, before she became too cool for that sort of thing.

So many times in the past six months, they’d asked her to go for a drive, out to dinner, around the neighborhood, or even just to sit in the car. And she couldn’t do it.

But the sun was shining in the window, on the verge of painting the sky with a colorful sunset. Her parents shared a hopeful look, and for once, Nell couldn’t bear the thought of letting them down again.

She smiled. “That sounds nice.”

* * *

Despite the beautiful sunset, it was starting to grow chilly around Gemsburg. Not enough to see her breath, but enough to shiver at a breeze. She walked between her parents, listening to her mother remark on the beautiful changing leaves around the area.

For a while, she pretended she was a ninth grader again, walking with her parents and perfectly happy with the life she had.

They were nearly done with their walk, and Nell sighed in deep to make the moment last.

A soft hand grabbed hers, and she looked down to see her mother’s hand wrapped around her own. She hadn’t felt that since she was lying in her hospital bed.

“It’s getting better, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

Nell looked at her mom, whose eyes shone so intensely in the sunset. She’d always said she wished she had Nell’s eyes, but Nell appreciated the amber hue they became in the sunlight.

Then she looked at her dad, and she saw herself in him. The most striking of her features were inherited from him—her hair, her eyes, and her doubt.

He smiled, but like her, she recognized the uncertainty mirrored in them. She desperately wanted to agree with her mother and mean it. But this moment felt fragile.

Everything did. She did.

She was peering through a window of what her life should be, but in reality, she was the glass, and all it would take was a pebble to crack her.

But in this moment, it was perfect, and in this happiness followed by the thrill of being with Barrett, Nell could lie to herself like she was a child who still believed in Santa Claus.

She looked away from her father and faced her mother.

“Yeah, Mom. It’s getting better.”