Page 81 of Seared Fates

“Did turning Ramy help?”

I shake my head, my shame still hot for what I did to my youngest. The boy was desperate to be loved and for a family after being by himself for so long, and I promised he’d have one with me. But Sen had left before I brought Ramy home, Rurik and Lucero were both a mess.

“In my apathy, I forced Ramy to take care of me when he should’ve been out enjoying his new immortality. The whole time making promises I was too broken to fulfil.”

My head drops to Kai’s.

“Nothing helped. So one day, when the world was too loud, I slunk into one of our old mansions, and for eight years I didn’t come out.”

Kai holds me tighter.

“You could ask me what happened at that time, and the answer would be the same for every second, every minute, every hour, of every day.” I close my eyes to find only darkness. “Nothing.”

Kai squeezes me tighter. “That’s awful, Vidar…”

“For eight years I was nothing.” When I open my eyes this time, I find Kai’s soft, kind, stunning face.

“Never,” he says. And if my single word forged diamonds, Kai’s fierce insistence polishes them radiant. “You could never be nothing, Vidar.”

I drop my head in the centre of Kai’s chest, his heartbeat a song I’ll never tire of. The scent of him—lavender and pencils and…

And finally, I understand the scent which is purely Kai.

Freedom.

Kai smells like freedom.

“One day, there was a little intruder in the mansion. People had broken in before, and I never cared. But…this person, Golden, made me curious. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he burned that shithole to the ground.”

Kai chuckles, and I smile with him.

We hold each other, and as the wind blows outside, seizing trees to shake leaves off their branches, I know that with Kai I’m… safe—free—to be happy, and return that happiness to him.

“About what we shared at the club—”

Kai lays his hands on my chest, stopping me. “It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself.”

“I do.” I gather his palm in mine and lay it over my heart. “I want you, Kai, even when I couldn’t explain why; I wanted you and not like I’ve wanted women in the past. More. So much more. So after we had sex, it was…overwhelming.”

“In a scary way?” Kai asks, and even after everything I’ve put him through, he sounds as if he’s ready at any moment to bandage my hurts.

But it’s my turn to heal him.

“Because, little prince…” I trace the whole of him, etching his every detail into my soul—like he would with a needle and ink. Whether my soul is still connected to him or not, I’ll always belong to him. “I love you.”

Kai sucks in a breath.

“I love you,” I repeat. “And not in a quiet, steady way I’ve loved others. You consume me, Kai.”

His eyelids flutter shut. Long black eyelashes brush across his cheeks as a tear rolls down. I kiss it away, tasting a flood of emotions in that single drop of salt.

“I’ve wanted those words for so long. But I can’t…if you ever took them back, I couldn’t take it.” His gaze finds mine—pleading me to let go, yet imploring me to hold on. “I can’t forgive you again…”

“Then don’t. Never forgive me, Kai. Hold every mistake over my head. But please,” I beg—plead—“please, allow me to spend the rest of eternity making it right.”

“Vidar…” How perfect my name sounds on his lips.

“Say you love me back,” I demand, voice low, rubbing my nose gently against his. “Say it. My love is yours, completely.”