Page 20 of Seared Fates

Chapter nine

Vidar

It’d be so easy to let anger eat at me as I sit on the hard stoop outside our mansion. But all I feel is foolish.

And drained.

Golden shouted at me, and I wish he hadn’t stormed off. Rather than Ramy’s cool disappointment. I promised when I left my isolation to do better, and yet I’m like some bull stumbling around, knocking delicate things over and saying whatever stupidity pops into my dull head.

How can I possibly make this right? Never speak to Kai again? The bond between us, though weak, aches at the idea—and, if I’m honest, so do I. To forever be without jade and sandy-blonde, without the prettiest shade of brown and a field of wild lavender… It’s a punishment I deserve, but one that sucks the life from me.

The sound of a car slowing pulls me from my thoughts, and I watch as a dew-wet black car rolls to a stop, before Rurik steps out in the silvery morning sun.

“He’s safe,” Rurik announces as he makes his way over. “I dropped him off with Apollo.”

I nod. “Thank you.”

“What did you say to him this time, Maker?” Rurik asks, stopping in front of me. His blonde hair is crystal-white against the barely peeking sun.

It’s difficult to face Rurik—who thought his mate was dead for fifty years—and admit what I’ve done. Worse still, I said it all in front of Lucero, who lost three soulmates before he found the courage to turn Golden.

However, silence won’t hide my shame.

Luckily, I have Ramy, who is all too willing to share my stupidity. “Kai overheard Vidar saying he should wait for him to be reborn into a more ‘pleasing form’.” My youngest side-eyes me from where he leans against a stone pillar, a slash of black against silver fog. “Did I get that right, Maker?”

“Yes, thank you, Rahim,” I grunt.

“That’d do it,” Rurik states, sitting beside me and clapping my leg for emphasis.

The door clicks shut, Lucero’s voice soon following. “Golden hates you.”

I groan, rubbing a hand over my face.

Ramy sighs. His shoes scuff against the ground before he lowers himself on my other side. It isn’t long before I hear Luc stroll over and sit next to Ramy.

I listen to the rustling trees, their fresh evergreen scent carried on the mist that eddies at our feet. In this grey hour between night’s end and day’s break, it’s like being caught in an in-between place where time stands still for all but me and my offspring. I should feel off-balance, like when I first stood on a boat, and yet, there is a certain peace that flows around us. As if all our mistakes and disappointments and regrets are somewhere far beyond the fog.

“How long since we’ve all been together like this?” I ask no one in particular.

“A long time,” Rurik answers, all his usual roughness smoothed.

He doesn’t count the times when they visited me in a run-down mansion, apathy chaining me to the walls more completely than any shackle could, and I’d lash out. Hurt them to feel something other than the deep well of nothing.

“You did well taking care of everyone in my absence, Lucero.” Turning, I stare at my second oldest. Since I’ve been back, I might be getting everything wrong with Kai, but I’ve also forgotten to be a leader to my offspring.

Or, that was something I forgot well before meeting my soulmate.

Lucero stretches out his long legs over the stoop and crosses his ankles. “I somehow managed to keep the three of us together when Sen left.” Lucero plays the blasé playboy well. But I see that glimmer in his eye, the one he normally reserves for Golden.

Happy. Yes, Lucero’s happy, and he deserves to be.

“Have you heard from Sen?” I ask.

After my eldest left, I expected the others to follow his example. I wouldn’t have blamed them, but for some reason they stayed. Maybe it was a sense of loyalty or just the fact that vampires crave the familiarity of their family unit; either way, I’m grateful.

“The last I heard, he’s hunting down artefacts for rich humans under some ridiculous pseudonym,” Lucero replies. “But that was a few years ago.”

Despite everything, I chuckle. “That does sound like him. I’m sure it’s also very dangerous, and he’s nearly died a hundred times over.”