Page 40 of Seared Fates

Golden’s arms wrap around me like my old leather jacket; familiar, worn-in, and keeping out the cold.

My fingers run across the scarred side of my face. “I’ve always pretended it isn’t part of me, but at the same time, all I want to do is explore it. But…” I drop my hand. “It’s also the reason I lost my parents.”

“Kai—”

But before he can correct me, I say, “And I’m so jealous of you that it makes me sick to my stomach.”

“Jealous?” he asks, taken aback.

“Because Lucero wants you.”

Golden bolts upright. “Vidar wants you, too.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“You do?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Mate, I’m not you. I know when a man wants to fuck me.”

“Piss off,” he says with little heat, the mattress bouncing as he drops back down.

“I don’t wanna fuck Vidar. Well, no, I want to climb him like a tree, then flip him over and fuck him back.”

“Sexy,” Golden says under his breath.

“But what I want more is that big, ridiculous, over the top love you have. I want…” I chew my bottom lip. “I want a love that could rival two orbiting suns. Where I’m his, and he’s mine, and it’s eternal.”

Golden doesn’t reply for a beat, then whispers, “You wanna be a vampire?”

I take a deep breath, hold it, then exhale. “I want him towantto make me a vampire. I want him to love me so much he doesn’t think straight, it’s toxic and stupid, and you once said to Lucero he needed therapy instead of a boyfriend, and fuck, do I ever need my head checked, but… damnit. I want that.”

Golden drops across my torso and hugs me so tight that he nearly cuts off my breathing. I hug him back just as hard, how could I not? It ain’t the love I was hoping for, but I’ve got that big love with Golden.

“Did Luc ever tell you I threatened to beat him up if he hurt you?”

“Wait, you did?”

“Yeah, mate. Of course I did.”

My friend grins so wide his cheeks must hurt. “Fuck Vidar and Lucero, I love you more than either of them combined!”

“You fucking better.”

The pieces of my heart that Vidar shattered don’t fit back together, but with Golden by my side, Summer’s comfort, Apollo’s company and Ramy’s fierceness, the edges are at least sanded smooth so they don’t dig deeper.

“Hey, wanna go toNando’swith me and Lucero?”

Baffled, my eyebrow shoots up. “What? Mate, no. I wanna go home.”

Golden’s mouth drops open. “What about keeping you safe?”

“Emma can easily find me, and it’s not like this place is a secret from her, either. I just…I want to gather my thoughts. Alone.”

“I don’t like it,” Golden frowns, clearly not convinced. “Vidar won’t either.”

“What won’t I like?” The air sucks out of the room, replaced by Vidar’s deep baritone.

Pushing up on my elbows, our eyes clash when I find him filling the doorway, tattooed arms crossed over his barrel chest.