Page 79 of Seared Fates

I tug harder, I can’t stop. “Wh-what does that mean?”

When Vidar takes too long to answer, I dart a look to Rurik. “Tell me!”

“You can’t live without a soul, Kai,” Rurik answers. “You’ll turn into a ghoul.”

A whine escapes my empty, soulless chest. “A what?”

“No.” Golden trips out of the bed and into Lucero’s arms. “No. NO! Let me go, Lucero! I’ll find Emma myself and kick her ass! Get his soul back!”

If anything, Lucero’s hold tightens. “Like hell you are.”

The pain seeping from the hollow place in my chest grows with each of my ragged breaths. My scalp hurting as I tug harder and harder and harder. “What’s a ghoul?”

Vidar’s eyes flash, his face carved from stone. “Nothing you’ll be, Kai. I won’t allow it. I am going to find Emma, and then I am going toannihilateher fucking bloodline.”

“Tell me what a ghoul is! I need to know.”

Vidar cups my cheeks. Face carved from solid stone.

“It’s a soulless creature that goes mad and feeds on living flesh,” Sen eventually tells me, but not unkindly.

The whole world draws into a needle point.

The panic around my lungs clenches until I can only wheeze.

I tug my hair over and over again, and I hate that I can’t stop it. I hate that everyone can see my lack of control, shame coils, and I turn my back on the room. Needing to hide.

Vidar comes around to face me. “Kai?”

“I…I-I can’t s-stop,” I whisper as I keep tugging, my voice wobbling and full of tears. “Can’t stop it. Please, Vidar. I can’t stop…”

A protective arm wraps around me. “OUT!” Vidar’s voice booms.

Golden makes a strained noise. It breaks my heart, but I don’t want even him to witness the mess I’ve become. No control. No soul—turning into a fucking ghoul. It makes me sick to my stomach.

After a whispered word from Lucero, I hear many footsteps reach the door before it shuts.

“Vidar,” I beg, for what I have no idea.

Probably to turn back time and stop me from making that stupid, reckless deal with Emma.

He presses a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be right back, gone for one second.”

Vidar moves out of my line of sight, but true to his word, after the lights go dim, he’s back. He gets into bed and pulls me into his arms as he rubs between my shoulder blades.

“I can’t stop,” I whisper, gasping and tugging harder. Faster. No control. “I just wish I could stop.”

“It’s okay, little prince.” Vidar’s voice washes over me. “It’s all okay.”

But as I keep pulling on my hair, I know that everything is far from it.

Chapter twenty-nine

Vidar

Afull hour goes by before Kai can calm his nervous tic and the tears on his cheeks dry.

He doesn’t leave my arms—not even as he drifts in and out of sleep, while I carefully remove his blood-stained clothes. After much internal debate about whether the towels in my bathroom are soft enough, I grab the softest one and take my time ensuring his body is clean of any leftover pain, all the while whispering how brave he is, especially since he doesn’t believe it himself. Then I help Kai into one of my white T-shirts.