Page 31

She hadn’t been joking about wanting to feel the sheets on her bare legs.

Cole’s in bed with a half-naked woman and it feels like he won the lottery.

It was easy enough to fall asleep from exhaustion. When she stripped off her pants and climbed in wearing only a T-shirt and pair of underwear, he’d been surprised, but that faded when she kept her distance, as she often does when they aren’t overcome with stress.

All this closeness is something he’d have run from before, but things change.

She looks like she wants to snuggle in against him, but nine times out of ten she stays on her side of whatever bed they share.

They are overly careful about getting too close unless it’s an emergency or a nightmare, and he wishes they could curl up together without hesitation.

He wants to feel her skin on his. Hold her close and bury his face into the back of her neck in that spooning thing that couples do.

They are not a couple. But they could be.

For the first time in his life, he wants to be someone’s other half instead of running from the concept.

She brings out a needy, tactile side of him he didn’t know existed, but every time she fails to initiate he backs off, too, leaving what feels like a canyon between them.

Would it be acceptable to move closer if she’s not awake to tell him to back off?

Should he give her a gentle poke with his finger first, or wait until she opens her eyes on her own?

He’s not planning to try anything beyond wrapping his arms around her.

At the slightest hint of her unhappiness, he’s prepared to fly off the bed immediately.

He swallows hard, taking a deep breath before resting a nervous hand on her shoulder, his voice soft. “Hey? Morning.”

No response.

He takes a risky journey down to her elbow and back, checking for any reaction.

Not a sound.

Even touching her this much without permission feels wrong, so he lets his hand drop away and pulls it back into his space. He won’t be like those fuckers in the cottage, or like the man she left in that subway, assuming he can do whatever he likes.

She makes a pleased hum at the back of her throat, and he spies the edge of her lips curling up in a careful smile. She’s been awake this whole time.

“I wanted to see what you would do.” She bites her lower lip.

He props himself up on his elbow to peer down at her, curious that she hasn’t rolled over yet. “What did you want me to do?”

“I wanted you to stop, just to know that you would….even though I already know that. And then when you did, I changed my mind.”

He swallows hard. She was testing him, and he can’t blame her for that. “What do you want me to do now?”

“Hold me for a while?”

Tentatively, he slides an arm around her waist, careful to stay in the safety zone of her stomach, ready to combust at any moment from sheer nervous energy. He presses his chest to her back, but keeps his hips as far away as possible without throwing his spine out of alignment.

“This okay?” he asks.

“Closer.”

She wiggles as if wanting to shove her ass back against his crotch, so he takes the hint in bold print and nudges his hips forward until their bodies meld together.

“You feel good.” She exhales hard, hugging his arm beneath her breasts. “I only feel safe like this when I’m with you.”

He takes that as his cue to settle in, willing his heart to quit thumping against her back and his dick to stay down.

She doesn’t move an inch, perfectly happy to let him hold her, and he wonders how he lived his whole life without this.

Without her. He’s already become addicted, and she’s the pusher supplying his fix.

His willpower to keep himself at half-mast only lasts so long before he hardens. “Sorry. It’ll go away.”

“It’s okay. You’re good right here.”

Fuck.

Dammit.

Holy shit.

He won’t survive this and now he remembers one very important reason why he’d been hesitant to hold her before. He’s already five seconds from coming in his pants with barely any contact at all.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to be this close,” she says gently. “But I’m good if you are.”

She’s telling him that she’s content to lie with his cock hardening in the curve of her ass.

That she feels safe with him wrapped around her and doesn’t want him to move.

He’s pretty damn sure their whole relationship shifted on its axis in the space of a few seconds because people who are only friends don’t do this.

“This is the only place I wanna be,” he chokes out, giving her a soft squeeze and nestling his face into the nape of her neck to inhale her scent.

It’s euphoric torture to feel her like this while knowing they can go no further.

Even the idea of that being a possibility later spins his brain in circles, but he is only lucky to have gotten here at all.

As she draws little shapes on his forearm, making goosebumps rise on his flesh, he remembers kissing her forehead the day before, and how surprised she was by the small gesture.

He wants to do the same again and takes a chance at pressing his lips to her temple.

Curving and arcing, her body curls into his like a kidney bean, her smile quick and his heart warming at her response.

“I can feel your pulse dancing against my back.” She grins, and then all at once he feels her shut down. Her body tenses and she rolls onto her back to look up at the ceiling. “I’m only teasing you. It’s not fair.”

“Teasing me?”

He’s afraid for a moment that she’s playing with his heart on purpose. It’s crazy, but he has so little experience in any of this that he’s not sure how to judge what’s normal and what’s not.

“Getting you all worked up,” she continues. “I like how you make me feel and all I want is more of that, but we can’t do anything else yet and that makes me a tease, doesn’t it?”

He’s torn between the relief of being wrong and the urge to resurrect her dead husband to bash his face in for accusing her of being a tease. He’d bet money on that asshole being the source of this particular worry.

“Not fair? I’m lucky. That’s all there is to it.”

She reaches up to where he’s propped on an elbow to trace his cheek with her fingertips. “I’m lucky too.”

“Then let’s lay here until the baby wakes up? You can feel my pulse hammering in my chest through your back again. I got a whole drum solo going on in here.”

She nods eagerly, turning over onto her side so he can wrap around her from behind. Her hum of approval is the best reward. It’s followed by a hiss when his feet find hers. “So cold!”

“Dunno what you mean. They’re toasty,” he teases and pushes their feet together.

Her laugh prompts his and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter that his dick is rock hard, only inches from where it belongs.

Doesn’t matter that they can’t do anything about it.

He’ll jerk off later and be just fine. All he cares about now is making her laugh again, seeing that smile on her lips, and feeling her warmth blossom against his body.

* * *

They’re being given another tour by the leader, only this time he gets the distinct feeling that it’s more of a sales pitch. They stroll past the beginnings of a market on the street, all the booths and tables half done, people scurrying about as if any of this is important.

“What’s all that in the back?” He points toward a creepy-looking fair ride, one of those things that made children throw up over the rims of a spinning teacup.

It sits in the darkened shadows of an alley they pass along with several other contraptions that look straight out of a circus horror movie.

A funnel cake stand, fluffy teddy bears hanging from a balloon-popping station, and a dunk tank made of metal and wood, larger than anything he’s seen before.

“Oh, that’s been here a long time. Used to be a yearly tradition before the outbreak to bring the community together and make use of that old equipment.

Some of it still stands from over a hundred years ago.

Isn’t that fascinating? We still try to get a gathering going once in a while.

It’s good for morale even if we can’t power all the lights. ”

Cole shivers as they’re led away, his gaze still on the tank that looks big and sturdy enough to hold five people in its depths.

“We’ve got teachers here for the children. Plenty of room for new residents. Even the best doctors researching the virus,” they’re told.

“Researching a cure?” Cole replies.

“Yes, in a way. A cure, a treatment, but that’s a discussion for a later time.

Why don’t I let you two make yourselves at home?

Get to know folks. Settle in. The cookies at Lila’s table are to die for.

” He pauses a moment, smiling at Lucy in a way that makes Cole’s nerves fray.

“You are so lucky to be blessed with such a gift.”

When he leaves them alone again, they’re stuck in the middle of what looks like a farmer’s market filled with people staring.

He hates being the center of attention. Hates being social.

Wants to go back to their room and avoid prying eyes.

He doesn’t fit here, and that’s part of why he’s so eager to leave.

Olivia would fit in, though, and he’d have to be blind not to notice how much safer this is. He’s only being selfish about wanting to pull them away. Creepy vibes or not.

She hefts the baby a little higher with a frown. “A treatment. You think he’s bullshitting us?”

“Dunno. He wants us to stay real bad, though, and I can’t figure out why.”

“Did you see…maybe it was just me, but…he looked at Lucy weird.”

“It’s not just you.”

That’s about as far as they’ve gotten in their theories and they stall for now, admitting defeat.

“Cookies? Lila looks harmless enough,” Olivia suggests.

“I could eat.”

He follows her to a table filled with piles of baked goods. It’s an embarrassment of riches by today’s standards that no one seems bothered by but him.