Page 26

Olivia isn’t sure how she managed to get back to sleep at all.

What happened had to be some sort of fever dream.

The alternative is that she slept curled up with Cole’s arms around her, and she isn’t the sort of person who gets what she wants.

His even breathing below her ear is real enough, though.

His solid arm encircling her belly is unmistakable, and the earthy scent saturated in enough pheromones is impossible to overlook.

They’ve shifted during the night. After she fed the baby and returned to bed, she felt the warmth of his chest against her back and his knees tucked in behind hers, the pressure of his embrace pleasant rather than suffocating.

They’re not sleeping on opposite ends of the mattress anymore but wrapped up together like a couple and that’s enough to blow her mind when she’s already having a hard time accepting this sudden turn of events.

She’s at war with herself, struggling with the knowledge that she wants him, and fighting it at the same time.

In the beginning, when she tried to offer him a blow job in the bathroom, it had only been an attempt to secure safety for herself and her child.

She felt nothing for him back then. He was only a stranger who showed her a tiny amount of kindness, and that had been enough.

She never expected that her feelings for him, or anyone, could grow.

After years in an abusive marriage, wanting any man again was off the table. But she wants Cole.

There are moments when it appears clear that he feels the same.

It’s in the brush of his thumb across her cheek and the shimmer in his eyes when he returned home last night.

In the way, he nestled his face into her hair as he held her.

She thought he might kiss her outside the house after she ran into his arms, but she isn’t so sure anymore.

He’s had ample chance since then and made no attempt.

Olivia isn’t brave enough to test the theory and risk losing everything they’ve built.

Cole isn’t the type she knows how to manage.

A hot meal and a good fuck won’t keep him placated and satisfied like it did her ex-husband, and without those tools at her disposal, she’s lost. It would be so simple to offend him and drive him away.

He already made it clear he didn’t want her like that and she’d be stupid to try again.

Evidence to the contrary is hard against her ass at the moment, though. She was right about needing those magnums when she grabbed the condoms.

A shiver runs up her spine when she imagines being with him.

Would he be gentle with her or would that wild streak she’s seen on occasion take over?

What she’s learned about him so far tells her he probably doesn’t have much experience, but his innocence is endearing and she isn’t an expert, either.

All she knows is how to fulfill her duty as a wife.

To use sex as a calming activity for someone in a rage, or a reward for good behavior, a means to an end.

They could learn how to do this right together.

Fuck, there she goes again, daydreaming about this man. Not long ago, the thought of having sex again was repulsive to her. Now, she can’t stop thinking about it. She is exactly what Jason always told her she was. Fast. Easy. Only good for one thing. Won’t be long before Cole realizes that, too.

Her heart drops when he begins to wake. One of two things will happen. He’ll either hold her tighter or he’ll roll away and put some space between them. Literally and figuratively. Everything looks different after a good sleep. What felt right before might be a regret now.

As soon as he’s fully conscious, his muscles contract around her, and his cock jerks against the curve of her ass.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” He rolls away to stare at the ceiling. “Didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay. If I was bothered, I’d tell you.” She wills herself not to cry, and how stupid is that? He isn’t rejecting her. He’s being a decent human who won’t grope someone without permission. That’s all there is to it.

“I didn’t wake up screaming this time. At least that’s a win.”

She braces her elbow on the pillow to face him. “I didn’t either. Maybe we kept each other’s nightmares at bay for one night.”

A smirk lifts his lips and one hand tucks long strands of hair behind her ear. “Were you shadowboxing my demons for me?”

Her cheek warms his palm as she nuzzles into his touch. “Absolutely.”

His look of unmasked affection takes her by surprise, but it’s quickly covered again and her heart shivers in disappointment.

“Breakfast? Are you hungry? I can make us something,” he offers .

What does she expect might happen? That he’ll kiss her breathless in this bed, tug her pants off and fuck her sweetly until she’s a boneless mess on the mattress?

She can’t have sex yet, anyway. She isn’t fully healed from labor no matter how badly she wants Cole. Then there’s the pesky detail of his feelings about her being up for debate.

“Technically, it’s a very late dinner,” she replies.

They slept all day. Now, moonlight casts a soft glow on Lucy, squeaking from her bassinet.

“Look who’s awake.” He leans over Olivia’s body to scoop up the baby and hand her to her mother. “In a good mood today, too, aren’t you?”

“She slept well. Those diapers make a big difference. She’s not waking herself up because she’s soaked anymore.”

Lucy shoves a hand in her mouth, perfectly content after so many days of constant crying.

“Let’s get some food and take her outside? It’s cold, but we could use the fresh air.”

Lucy’s been inside for days, so Olivia has too. They’re both more than ready to leave the confines of this house, even for a little while. “Alright. Lemme feed her first to keep her happy and then it’s a date.”

She fights the urge to take back her statement now that it could mean something more than another pointless flirt.

He dips his head, his voice soft. “It’s a date.”

* * *

She stops at the bathroom with Lucy to clean up before meeting Cole outside. With no windows to let the glow through, she puts a wiggling baby on the counter and lights a candle.

Olivia’s still critical of herself, only finding a few improvements, but they’re noticeable this time. She shouldn’t base her worth on what anyone else thinks of her. It’s a common-sense concept she’s always grasped theoretically but has trouble applying.

Cole’s seen value in her and that’s made it easier to see it in herself.

Only a bump remains where Lucy was. The stress of their overall situation has done a fast job of helping her transform back into how she looked before carrying a baby.

Her cheeks have filled out and her arms have, too.

She’s caught him staring at her collarbones when he thinks she’s not looking, and her gaze shifts to the curve and dip that captivates him.

Traces the outline with her fingertip before skipping up to brush her lower lip, wondering when or if he might kiss her.

She’s never thought herself attractive. Wild hair and sad eyes. Stress lines that crease her skin the slightest bit. That’s what she’s conditioned to see, but Cole sees something better and she can’t help but let those smitten butterflies sing a new tune in her chest.

“What do you think, little one? Want to go outside and see the stars?” she says softly, picking up the living proof that there must be something beautiful about her if she was able to create Lucy.

That brand new, happy feeling is back, and she embraces it in desperation to feel something good.

When she finds him again, he’s got two cups of oatmeal ready next to mugs of tea on the back deck, with his gaze on the lake ahead. Domesticity comes easy for him and that’s got to be one of the most unexpected qualities he’s shocked her with.

The dancing flurries of snowflakes in the night air are even more shocking.

She joins him at the picnic table, laying the baby flat on her thighs while they eat. “I wasn’t expecting snow this soon.”

“Me either. The lake is already frozen over. Gonna be even colder once we start heading higher up into the mountains. We need better gear.”

“Do you think it’s still worth it to go up now instead of waiting for spring? I know winter is long but—”

“It’s only getting worse down here, you know that. Too many people left, too many rotters. If we stay, we won’t keep getting lucky.”

She nods, knowing he’s right but fearing their ability to keep Lucy warm in the frigid cold of high elevation.

“Hey.” His foot nudges hers. “There are wood stoves at the farm. Plenty of firewood in the forest. I wouldn’t take you somewhere if I didn’t think it was the best option. Can’t promise it’ll be easy getting there, but once we are, it’ll be worth it.”

“Okay. I trust you.”

Her reply comes easy and quick, much like the hesitant smile on his face, brighter than the half ones he often forces out. She does trust him and isn’t that such a wild concept when only weeks ago, trusting anyone felt impossible.

“But you know…no pressure, right?” he jokes.

She rolls her eyes with a shake of her head. “That trust is turning paper thin. Keep it up.”

He grins in amusement. “You, ah, spend much time looking at the stars?”

It’s a sudden subject change, but she goes with it. “Not really. Why?”

“I used to lie outside all the time when I was a kid and watch them. Looked up all the constellations. When’s your birthday?”

“Are you gonna do my astrology chart? You’re full of surprises.”

“Stop. You wanna know or not?”

“Okay, okay. September the second.”

He scans the sky before settling on a spot with a pointed finger. “That one’s yours. Virgo.”

“I don’t see it.”

He takes her hand, lining up their fingers to guide her to the outline of her very own set of stars.

“Oh, there it is,” she says, softly. “I never paid much attention to this stuff. I know my sign, of course, but that’s about it. You know Virgo is the virgin, right?”

He flushes, almost choking on the air in his mouth.