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Lucy won’t stop crying.

She’s been relatively quiet since birth, but now she uses every opportunity to let them know she’s unhappy and can’t explain why.

It’s taken its toll on Olivia no matter how often she reminds herself that it’s normal. Lucy is changing and growing, and her easygoing nature doesn’t guarantee that she’ll always be that way. It’s still difficult to accept after hours of wailing.

“Something could be wrong,” she says, repeating the same complaint she’s voiced a hundred times. “She could be sick. We don’t have a doctor. She looks okay though, right? Can you see a difference? What do you think?”

Cole hovers nearby while she paces the room with a screaming baby on her shoulder. Even Flower has gone into hiding in one of the closets, preferring to bury herself in a pile of clothes than listen to the noise.

Olivia hasn’t slept much in the last week.

Her eyes droop and her skin runs hot in a telltale side effect of being overtired.

Her stomach growls, but stress keeps her from eating, and not even Cole’s attempts at reassurance have worked.

Lucy passes out from exhaustion but wakes quickly. When the baby’s up, everyone’s up .

“She’s not sick,” he says confidently, as if he knows, which he can’t. “There’s no fever.”

“Could be the virus. We don’t know what it does to babies. She could be having a reaction, maybe it’s mutating, maybe—”

“Or it’s colic.” He cuts in, trying to be helpful when she’s not in the mood for rational comments.

“What even is colic?” Her voice raises an octave as she yells into the void, competing with Lucy’s screams.

She wonders how Cole remains in the room with them at all. The fact he hasn’t escaped to the woods to go hunting is mind-boggling. They both have to be hanging from his last nerve after nearly a week of endless noise. Not that she wants him gone, she doesn’t. Dealing with this alone would be worse.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” she continues. “The books said it’s a symptom of something else, but what else? Fucking useless is what those books were. They don’t prepare you for anything.”

Lucy wails and Olivia hushes her with a soft apology, rocking and bouncing and feeling like she’s about to fall flat on her face at any moment.

“Hey come on, lemme have her a while and you get some rest, okay?”

“But she’s kept you awake, too. It’s not fair.”

He’s offered to suffer with an angry baby so she could rest more often than she can count. The cries echo through the house anyway, but his effort is there. At this point, she could fall asleep standing up, with Lucy yelling next to her head.

He holds out his hands and she gives him the squirming, red-faced baby. Guilt overtakes her the moment she agrees. He didn’t sign up for this. He’s not her father .

Lucy’s real father would have fed them both to the rotters by now to get a good night’s rest.

Cole cradles the baby in the crook of his arm, talking to her as if he’s not annoyed in the slightest, but he has to be.

She birthed this child herself and even her patience is wearing thin.

Every time he comes to her rescue with support, she promises herself she won’t accept again, and every time he offers…

she relents. He’s good at hiding any irritation, though.

When they first met, she wouldn’t have expected him to possess an endless stream of tolerance, but he’s proven time and time again that his thread is far from unraveling.

“Thank you,” she whispers, reaching out to run her hand down his arm, giving it a half squeeze before crawling into bed deep under the blankets. “I owe you big time.”

“Gonna cash in on that one of these days,” he jokes.

She mumbles an incoherent thought, half obscured by the pillow.

Maybe she won’t feel like she’s failing as a parent or like her child is coming down with some unknown illness when her eyes aren’t crossing.

It takes her a few moments to drift off, but in the hazy period right before sleep, she overhears Cole talking to the baby as he leaves the room and walks down the hall.

“Let’s give your momma a break for a while, okay? Just me and you now, Kitten. Scream all you want, but we’re doing it on the other side of the house.”

I love you.

That thought emerges unbidden as her eyes water and her heart flips.

It catches her by surprise with its clarity and ferocity, but then again, she suspected this was coming. Moments like this, where he gives her a glimpse of the kind of partnership she believed only existed in fairytales, contribute to the slow and certain build of their relationship.

She’s delusional due to sleep deprivation.

Loving him isn’t an option because he’s not interested.

She should stop flirting with him so much. That nonsense only feeds the emotions she’s trying to deny. She’s rarely been the type anyway, not since her husband beat the desire to tease and flirt out of her long ago.

There is safety in rediscovering that part of herself with Cole, she reasons. That’s all there is to it.

She can’t love him. She can’t. If she doesn’t throttle those feelings now, they’ll only get worse.

* * *

It’s suspiciously quiet when she wakes. Blissful silence has replaced the constant screams. Gradually, she stretches, smiling at the tickle of fur against her face. Tucked under the covers and her arm, Flower’s purr resonates against Olivia’s chest.

They’re warm, content, and well-rested, but sudden fear grips her. Something might have happened to Cole and Lucy.

Bolting from bed, she hurries through the empty kitchen and living room, her mind overwhelmed by impossible scenarios.

Cole could have gone outside to pee and been overtaken by the dead.

Someone new could have found them and is currently holding them hostage.

Aliens could have abducted them both for all she knows .

Lucy’s silence is unusual and terrifying, considering she hasn’t been quiet in days. Despite nearly skidding into the living room, fearing it empty, Olivia discovers a much more satisfying answer.

Lucy and Cole have made it through the eye of the storm and taken a well-deserved rest. The baby is sound asleep, her cheek against his chest and a string of drool wetting his shirt. He’s fallen asleep too, one arm still holding onto Lucy while the other dangles off the couch.

Yeah, she loves this guy.

Dammit.

Fuck.

She hoped that her revelation last night was simply a product of irrational delusion, but she can no longer deny it. Watching him interact so naturally with her daughter, and seeing how close they have become, is forcing her to admit the truth, at least to herself.

It might be the first time she’s been in love. She can’t remember feeling anything like this when she first met Jason. No gentle butterflies in her stomach or a deep ache in her chest, longing to be closer. Wasn’t smothered by her feelings in such a substantial way that it overwhelmed her.

How unfair, she thinks, grabbing the disposable camera to snap a quiet photo of a beautiful sight. It’s taken her what feels like a lifetime to find him, and her affections are one-sided.

They need all the rest they can get, so she busies herself making tea and sets Cole’s cup on the kitchen table, taking up a chair as rain provides a soft backdrop of white noise.

Their fight practice had her entertaining the possibility he could feel the same about her.

She put all her effort into showing him she wanted that kiss she convinced herself was coming.

He stared at her lips, inches away. Surely, that meant something.

But nothing happened then, and nothing has since.

They share this house in a domestic way that’s begun to feel like the family she always wanted, yet all her efforts are met with a scoff or a tease, as if he assumes she’s not serious.

Olivia’s starting to wonder if that’s his way of letting her down easily.

It hasn’t been that long, she thinks, as he begins to stir in the other room with a groan. They are both damaged in ways that make this difficult. She can’t assume disinterest yet.

He made her breakfast and left a flower by her plate. A flower! Men don’t do that unless they’re interested, she reasons, wondering what the hell she knows about men when she’s only been with one and he was the worst example.

When Cole wakes, he appears in the kitchen shortly after, a relieved smile on his lips and the baby in his arms. “Look, she’s out like a light.”

“You both were,” Olivia gestures to the table. “I made you some tea.”

He sits, taking Lucy with him until she’s propped snugly over his shoulder. “You sleep good, too?”

“I did. I feel a lot better today. I think I was losing it for a while there. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“Don’t gotta apologize to me.”

“I do. I was spiraling off the deep end. You’ve kept me sane when you didn’t have to.” He doesn’t reply, but his gentle half-nod is enough. “Maybe she’ll turn a corner now. I think this is the longest she’s slept since it started.”

“It’s gonna be a good day. I can feel it. Rain’s not stopping, though, so we’re inside for a while.”

“I found some board games in the closet. Deck of cards. You ready for me to kick your ass at poker?”

“Pffft. We’ll see who’s doing the ass-kicking.” Lucy wiggles in his arms, her blue eyes blinking awake. “Someone’s up. You want her back?”

“No, she’s happy there. If she’s quiet, I’d rather not move her.”

“ Cole. Can you say Cole?” He slows down his words and stretches them out as if the baby will reply to this impromptu talking lesson.

Olivia smirks. “Is that what you two have been working on when I’m sleeping?”

“Maybe.”

“A little early for that, but she’ll say ‘momma’ first.”

“We’ll see.” He winks, turning his attention back to the baby. “Coleeeee. You got this. Think about it for a while. Cole. ”

“Are we making this a competition? Because I’m in.”

“What’s the prize if I win?”