Page 61 of Say You'll Never Let Go

“I’m liking this blue you put me in all the time. It’s growing on me.”

“You look good in that.” She’s briefly distracted before remembering she led this conversation down a naughty path. She’s only trying to lighten the mood, make him laugh, get a roll of his eyes in response. “Go ahead. Favorite position.”

“Dunno,” he admits. “Been a long time. A real long time. Not sure anymore.”

Her face softens, fingers playing with his where they rest on her knee.

“What about you?”

It’s difficult to answer, even though there is one position that she’s always been curious about. She instantly regrets walking straight into this. “I’m not really sure, either. I haven’t…very much. After how we grew up, I never wanted anyone touching me.”

One thing they’ve never talked about is her dating life, or lack thereof. She knew about all his girlfriends, saw a different one on his arm every time he showed up, but she hadn’t been eager to let anyone in back then. She’s been even less inclined to fall into bed after the world ended.

He nods, giving her one of those slow, melting blinks. “I get that now. After what they…”

Kara squints. “After what?”

Now she’s confused. Maybe in the back of her mind, she knew exactly what Silas and his men had done to him, but hadn’t fully allowed herself to go there, preferring to hope she’d been wrong.

He looks at his plate instead of her, his tone monotone as it slices through her heart. “They found a lot of uses for me, especially in the beginning before the novelty wore off.”

The fact that they have this in common now is enough to break what’s left of her heart. He had been the one to pull a man off her all those years ago when she was bent over the pool table in the basement, cigarette smoke wafting up her nostrils while a drunk asshole forced himself on her. Wade saved her that night. He had been a few minutes too late to stop it entirely, but he saved her nonetheless.

She hadn’t been there to save him.

What does she say now? What would she have wanted to hear? I’m sorry is inadequate, so she says the only thing that scratches the surface of promising emotional relief from this kind of torment.

“We’re going to kill him.” She slides a hand up his shoulder, ducks her face down to meet his eyes, and urges his head up. “Look at me. We’re going to fucking eviscerate him.”

Wade nods, his own stare flaring with the need for vengeance, and then it’s gone again and he clears his throat, changing the subject abruptly, perhaps so he doesn’t crumble. “What’s a thing you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t yet. Keep it clean.”

She smiles. “It’s not your turn.”

“Come on.”

“Okay, okay. Go sailing.”

“Really? Boats?” He stretches his legs out on the bed and leans back against the pillows.

“You don’t like the water?”

“There’s a reason I didn’t join the Navy instead.”

“Hmm. Well, I guess I’ll have to send you a postcard from my sailing vacation,” she teases in a sing-song voice.

“Just supposed to watch my best friend leave in some boat? Don’t think so. I’d go with you even if I throw up the whole time.”

“Valiant sacrifice. What’s a thing you’ve wanted to do but never did?”

“Climb Cathedral Rock in Sedona.”

“Oh, you’ve thought about this.”

“Thought about it a lot. Have you ever seen it?”

She shakes her head. “Never even heard of it.”

“There’s this thin ledge high up between two pillars. Looks like a huge cathedral. The climb is almost vertical to get there. Short though, doable. Worth it for the view.”