Page 133 of Say You'll Never Let Go

She isn’t clinging to him like she normally would on the back of the bike and he hasn’t been granted a kiss to his neck even once. Trivial as it may be, that scares the shit out of him since he has plans to ask herthe big questiononce they reach the end of this journey.

To stay out here permanently. It has felt implied, but they’re at a point where implied things need to be said out loud and confirmed. They began this journey with a slim possibility that he might remember their original plan with Cole and want toreturn to find him. Much as he wishes he could see his friend one more time, the reality is that those memories are never coming back. Even if they did, he would pick a life with Kara rather than risk a second cross-country trip.

When they pull up to a desert diner complete with tumbleweeds in the parking lot, he blurts something out hastily, making himself cringe. “Are you okay? You’ve been different today.”

She frowns, letting Cherry out of the pack to find a spot to pee. “I’m good. Why?”

“I dunno, you just…don’t seem okay.”

How does he say,why haven’t you been climbing me like a tree anymore,when it’s only been a day since they last slept together, without sounding like he’s lost his mind?

“I’m fine, Wade. Really. Are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Alright.”

Well, that was unproductive. He scratches the back of his head and veers away to bang on the diner door, grateful no occupants greet them before he breaks in.

“Have you thought about where we should set up out here?” she asks, while the two of them examine a framed map of the area on a wall.

“Somewhere with a water source. One of these lakes, maybe?”

“We can see if Cherry knows how to swim.”

The dog is busy sniffing every available surface. Before he can reply, she darts past them into the kitchen, cueing a commotion of clattering pots and pans that ends with Cherry proudly staring at them in the middle of the mess with a fat rat in her mouth.

She happily trots over to show them her prize, wiggling in a victory dance before dropping the rodent at their feet.

“She’s a better hunter than both of us combined,” Kara jokes. “Should we let her eat it?”

“Don’t see why not. Can’t buy dog food out here.” He bends down to praise the dog who’d been waiting for a compliment on her hunting prowess and then nudges the rat back in her direction to let the circle of life run its course. “Maybe we can teach her to catch something tastier for us.”

“If we find any pint-sized chickens, she’ll be the first one we call.”

“What about this lake? Alpine. Higher altitude, so fewer rotters. Doesn’t look close to any commercial areas, and it feeds into a stream.” He points to a spot that looks promising.

“It’s as good a choice as any.”

With their next stop on the schedule written into the game plan, they putter around the diner, lazily searching for anything useful when Kara breaks the silence with a familiar offer.

“PG thirteen twenty questions session?”

He nods. “Hit me with it.”

“Where’s the happiest you’ve ever been? Not counting this trip.”

His answer is almost as quick as her smile. “That shitty little studio apartment we rented right after basic training. Remember it?”

“It was good there, wasn’t it?”

“First time everything felt right. And it was so fucking domestic. I loved it there.”

Memories of the shoebox-sized apartment fondly fill his mind’s eye, and he smiles. They were fresh out of basic training and still attached at the hip, both afraid to truly be on their own, choosing instead to gravitate toward the only person who felt like home.

“It was a shithole, but it had the best windows. Floor to ceiling, tons of sunlight. I think I was happy there…with you, for the first time since I’d lost my father.”