Page 21

Two weeks later

A tense silence fills the room as the three of us eat dinner.

We almost caught both Tanner and Rhett, at least that’s what I’m told. I haven’t been privy to all the efforts going into finding them. Sure, I’ve offered my suggestions here and there, and both Jax and Ryan have told me bits and pieces of information, but I haven’t asked for all the details.

I think it’s time I know more though, time that I’m actually fully invested in finding them, in righting the wrongs that were done to me. And I know exactly what I want to happen to both of them… know exactly how I want to get revenge. Thinking about what will be done to them eventually, about how much they will suffer, is the only way I can keep the anger from boiling over inside of me, the only way I can force myself to move forward, going through the motions every day instead of sitting in my room, being eaten alive by everything I feel.

I look back to Jax and Ryan, still stewing over their meals and I can’t quite figure out why there’s a weird tension between them, and what’s causing Ryan to stare so intently at his plate of food as Jax tries to act normal. But what he doesn’t realize is I can read him like a book, read every emotion that crosses his face, or doesn’t. I can tell he’s frustrated from the way his hand clenches around his fork and his jaw feathers slightly when Ryan looks up from his plate and their eyes meet. I can feel the anger simmering beneath the surface, beneath the way he’s trying to school his features to neutrality.

I place my fork down, looking between the two of them.

“What?”

They both look at me, neither of them speaking.

“What is going on tonight? You’re both… off. I don’t know what’s happened or what’s causing this weird vibe…” I rack my brain for any memory of an argument, anything that I could have said or done to cause any tension, trying to ignore the voice in my head as it tells me I could be the reason for the tension. That dealing with me, with my trauma, is what’s causing the dynamic of the house to be so off-kilter.

“Someone tell me what’s going on, please,” I ask, looking between them.

Jax is the first to speak, setting down his fork.

“It’s business stuff, love, nothing we can’t handle, we’ve just had a”—he pauses, looking at Ryan—“difference of opinions about how something should be handled.”

I glance at Ryan before my eyes settle on Jax again, and it takes everything in me not to be pulled into the depth of his gaze.

Jax has been exceptionally patient, never pressuring me to do anything I’m not ready to do, and always slowing things down when he feels we’re approaching my limits, always the voice of reason no matter how much I say I want more. I don’t know what he’s waiting for, what box needs to be ticked on his mental checklist before he’ll let us try having sex again, but I know he wants to make sure my healing is the priority.

“As he was saying,” Ryan starts, “we had a disagreement on how Rhett and Tanner should be handled. But we’ll figure it out.”

“I think they should both be killed,” I say nonchalantly, before picking up my fork and taking another bite of dinner.

I lift my eyes from my plate, only to see them both staring at me. “What?” I ask, glancing between them, feeling bold for the first time in a while. “If you guys don’t want to do it, I will.”

“You’re not a killer, love,” Jax says gently.

“No, but I could be,” I respond between mouthfuls. “For them, for this, I could be.”

Ryan shoots a look at Jax, one I can’t decipher, but Jax seems to understand his message.

“Killing someone, it… changes you. You can’t go back to who you were before you take someone’s life, no matter how hard you try.”

I keep my voice steady, despite the hurricane in my chest trying to get free, to explode into the world around me. I want to scream, to make them both understand what I went through, what I endured. But instead, I take a breath, steadying the storm in my chest as I look at them both. “Kind of like I can’t go back to who I was before they did this to me.”

I meet Jax’s eyes, not backing down as he stares at me, until a contemplative look sweeps over his features. He takes a breath, breaking the heavy silence that hangs in the air.

“We’ll come back to this conversation. But yes, the fate of Rhett and Tanner was what we were discussing, what we have been having different views on.”

“And these views are?”

Jax pauses, and there’s a sense of hesitancy etched into his features, something that almost looks like nervousness. But I’ve never seen him nervous in all the time I’ve known him.

“I respect the fact that you want to know about this, about what we do. I understand why. But once I tell you this, once I let you know about my world, there’s no going back. So, you need to ask yourself if any risk of being… associated… with the business is worth it for you.”

I respond without so much as a second thought. “All in or all out, right Mr. Turner?”

Jax gives a tight smile. “I knew you were going to say that. Make yourself comfortable love, I’m going to start from the beginning of everything and it’s a long story.”

Jax proceeds to tell me the story of his family name, starting right at the beginning, wanting me to understand the background of what he does before I learn of what he’s currently doing. He tells me of how the Turners started off as people involved in small crimes, like petty theft. But as time went on and bills remained tight, they turned to bigger and riskier endeavors to put food on the table. Eventually stealing cars, robbing banks and jewelry stores, and smuggling weapons and drugs became their main sources of income and has stayed that way for the past fifty years.

“We work with every major establishment you can think of,” Jax says.

“We are a major establishment,” Ryan interjects.

“Dare I ask what crimes you’re involved in now?”

Jax is the one to speak this time. “Our operations have remained rather unchanged for the most part, but since I took over we’ve been steering away from narcotics and weapons, and focusing on more wholesome endeavors.”

“ Wholesome ?” I can’t help but smile at his choice of words.

They grin back at me. “More wholesome than what we were involved with,” Ryan says.

“And Poison Ivy fits into this… establishment… how exactly?”

“Fraud. Helping other organizations with money laundering and washing our own money when we print it.”

“You print money?” I ask Jax in disbelief.

Both of them give me mischievous smiles. “Only sometimes.”

“And you have people who work for you then, like, employees?”

Jax nods in confirmation.

“And you’ve killed people in your line of work before.” Not really a question.

Jax gives me another nod.

“But you’re not in the business of killing people?”

“We try to stay out of that as much as possible. But, as I’ve said before, sometimes it’s a necessary part of the job. Sometimes, someone thinks they have what it takes to take the business from me, and it’s self-defense. And sometimes, someone has seen too much, wants to make more money snitching on us, and death is a consequence of their own actions.”

“And does your business hurt… innocent people? Like kids?”

“You really have a high opinion of us, don’t you?” Ryan says with an eyeroll, feigning offense.

Jax’s smile doesn’t falter. “No, love, we have never hurt any children. I can’t speak for those that ran the business before me, but since I took over no one who wasn’t directly involved with crime has been killed due to our operations. I’ve made sure of it, and my guys know the cost if they do.”

“And that would be?”

“Their life.”

I take a sip of my water; the rest of my dinner having gone cold on my plate. I’m too ensnared by this conversation to eat, hungry to learn more about his business and what he actually does.

“You said it took so long to find me because you didn’t know who took me at first.” I look between them again, the darkness behind their eyes rising to the surface, their anger about the whole situation still roaring deep within them. “Do I need to be worried about this? About some other crime family wanting to send a message again?”

“Yes and no,” Ryan says casually.

“Well, that’s reassuring,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.

“No one would usually go to so much effort until a relationship was… solidified,” Jax says. “Until they were sure you are someone of importance and not just a casual fling.”

“What he’s trying to say,” Ryan drawls, “is they’d want to make sure that taking you would be worth the effort. They’d want to know they’d be rewarded for giving you back, or at least make their message very clear by targeting you.”

I’m quiet for a bit, mulling over their words.

“It’s a lot to take in, if you need time to think about it—”

I furrow my brows. “You think they see me as a casual fling?”

Ryan chuckles, picking up his glass and drinking deeply.

“ That is your takeaway?” Jax laughs.

“Well, shouldn’t it be? Apparently I’m not deemed important enough to you?”

“You are the most important thing to me, love,” Jax says, the humor in his eyes replaced with passion. “And the second the world finds that out, then yes, we will need to be even more careful about making sure you stay out of any crossfire that might exist because of our lifestyle. But until then, we don’t usually have to worry about other organizations putting the effort in, of crossing this huge line, to take you.”

“An act like that would cause a war between families, a literal, bloody war,” Ryan says quietly. “Even if it didn’t happen right away, whoever decides to fuck with another’s family knows that death will eventually be the price they pay for sending that message.”

I contemplate what Ryan said before turning back to Jax.

“Then why did you check with them in the first place? Why were you unsure of who took me if they usually wouldn’t be bothered? Doesn’t that narrow down your options a bit?”

My heart beats quickly in my chest as I wait for him to answer.

“Because it wouldn’t be the first time someone didn’t play by the rules, and I didn’t want to risk you being in their hands. I was not willing to risk having you sent home to me in pieces. So, I checked with everyone who I knew would do the most damage first. I asked my contacts I’m on good terms with, had my intel check estates and houses. I had phones bugged and crime lords tailed halfway across the world. And only then, only when I was sure you weren’t there, did my brain even start to think about the alternatives.”

“And when you found out Rhett had me?”

“I was relieved,” Jax says quietly, his face solemn. “I was relieved that out of all the wolves out there, it was him. Relieved that he is not known in our world for sending people back in small boxes, one piece at a time. And then, about ten seconds later, I was angry.”

“I don’t think angry actually describes what you—” Ryan starts before being interrupted.

“I was furious. That someone so insignificant ”—he spits the word as though it leaves a bad taste in his mouth—“would dare take someone that belongs to me, someone who is my entire world.”

Ryan nods as if remembering when I was taken, remembering how Jax responded, and my cheeks flush at his declaration, at his belief that I’m his entire world.

“And now that we know it’s Rhett.” I look between them both. “And after what Tanner did… what now?”

“They’re dead. It’s just a matter of time,” Ryan says with a casual violence in his words as he picks up his fork and continues to eat.

I learn more and more about Jax and Ryan, about the business they’ve helped build for the past ten years. The more I learn about them, the more I want to be a part of their lives in all areas, helping them and supporting them just like they’ve done for me.

“I want in,” I say quietly, but with an assertiveness that feels foreign to me.

Ryan looks shocked, but Jax… something like pride flickers across his face.

“And what exactly, love, do you want in on?” he purrs.

“This, your business, the establishment. I want in on all of it. I want to help find Rhett and Tanner, I want to understand what it is you do, what you’re doing to make that happen, and I want something to do with my time. But mainly, mainly I want to say I had a part in bringing them down. And maybe that makes me a horrible person, but”—I take a breath—“but it’s what I want, what I need. So, yeah. I guess I’m asking for a job?”

Ryan looks to Jax, seemingly unsure of what his answer will be. But Jax only gives me an assessing look, a look that seems to see right through me and into my soul, before tilting his head. “Considered yourself hired, under two conditions…”

“And they are?”

“You start painting regularly again and you don’t stop trying to get your work into galleries.”

I mull over his words, before smiling. “Deal.”

“Welcome to the team, love,” Jax says with a smile, raising a glass in my direction before taking a sip.

We keep talking late into the night, even as I wash up the dishes, handing them to Ryan to dry, as Jax keeps answering all my questions without any hesitation, his eyes never leaving me as I learn about everything he does, and everything I will soon be a part of.

Our room is dark as we walk into it, the only light coming from the city lights in the distance. I walk over to the bed, sitting down on the lush bedding, watching Jax as he takes his shirt off, tossing it gently on the chair by the bookshelves.

“So, I’m your entire world?” I ask coyly.

He pauses what he’s doing, his eyes finding mine from across the room.

“Of course you are,” he responds as he holds my gaze captive.

“Then show me,” I purr, looking him up and down as I lay back on the bed. “Show me exactly what it means to be yours.”

And he does.