Page 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

L ILI’S ENTIRE BODY FLUSHED . She couldn’t believe she was in Cassian’s room, naked. Like him. Sitting on the edge of a chair having a conversation about—she got out a garbled-sounding, ‘Um, no, I haven’t.’

She wondered faintly why she had started this again. She could be asleep in her bed right now. But something was awoken inside her and she knew if she had a choice she’d stay here. No matter how excruciatingly mortifying, and a big part of that was because of how amazingly gentle and understanding Cassian was being. A revelation. And yet, she knew that unless she’d trusted him on some level, she would never have come to his bedroom like this. She’d unpack that later.

Cassian sat up on the edge of the bed. He said, ‘I need you to be ready, Lili, because the first time can hurt a little.’

Lili’s gaze dropped to his lap where his erection was even bigger. She gulped a little. She looked back up. ‘Okay. Tell me what to do.’ She was determined now, no going back.

‘Sit back in the chair.’

She did, moving right into the back.

‘Can you widen your legs?’

After a moment of hesitation, Lili did, slowly. She could see a flush come up along Cassian’s cheekbones. His erection twitched. He said a little hoarsely, ‘Like that.’

‘Okay, now, cup your breast…feel its weight and texture.’

Lili felt silly but she did as he asked. She’d never taken note of her breasts before, always wanting to hide them. It felt firm in her hand now. Soft. Silky. The nipple a hard nub that tingled when her finger brushed it. The tingle connected with a point between her legs and she could feel a kind of tension building in her lower belly and between her legs.

‘Very good. Trace your nipple…pinch it between two fingers.’

Lili didn’t take her eyes off Cassian as she followed his instructions.

‘Squeeze it harder…’

His voice was sounding a little breathless. She dropped her gaze for a moment to see that he had a hand on his erection and she felt a gush of liquid heat between her legs. It almost made her close her thighs together but she resisted the urge.

‘Now, drop your other hand, down over your belly…to between your legs. Stroke yourself and find what you like.’

Lili wasn’t sure what he meant but she did as he asked and let her fingers delve between her legs. She was shocked to find how hot she was. And damp.

‘Very good.’ Cassian was stroking his erection now, face flushed. Lili felt sweat trickle down her temple. She was breathing faster as a wholly new sensation was coiling tight in her body. She was fixated on making her fingers stroke deeper, harder. Her other hand was squeezing her breast. She’d moved down the chair, legs wider.

Cassian said, ‘Why don’t you put one leg over the arm of the chair.’

Lili did so and found that opening herself up made it so much easier. It was second nature now to follow the dictates of her body and let her fingers slide in between the folds of her sex, inside where she felt so hot and achy.

‘That’s it, Lili, keep going.’

She was hardly listening to Cassian’s voice now, an instinct as old as time taking over her body as her back arched and her buttocks squeezed to try and chase this elusive peak she had to find.

And then suddenly it broke over her, wrenching a gasp from her mouth, as she soared high in a violent burst of pleasure. She could feel the rhythmic clasping of her muscles around her fingers. She was squeezing her breast hard. She let go, breathing fast. Stunned into silence, as she floated back to earth.

Cassian’s face was stark. He looked like he was in pain. Lili took her leg down from the arm of the chair, tried to sit up again when she felt as if her limbs had become hot jelly.

‘Are you okay?’

His voice sounded a bit strangled. ‘Not really… Lili, I need to be inside you or I think I might die…’

He moved back on the bed and said, ‘I think I know how we can do this without you feeling claustrophobic.’

‘Okay,’ Lili said, feeling incredibly languorous.

He was lying back on the bed now and said, ‘Come over here, and I’ll show you.’

Lili wasn’t sure if she could stand but she attempted it and even though her legs felt like wool, she could manage. She walked over to the bed and tried not to ogle at Cassian’s body. His very hard body.

He said, ‘Straddle me, Lili, sit over me.’

Her heart palpitated. She knew they’d have to touch, obviously, but it felt very real. Her nerves were back. Could she actually do this?

He said, ‘I won’t touch you. Look, I’ll keep my hands out to the sides. You’re in control here.’

She looked at him. His arms were stretched out. ‘You promise?’

‘You can restrain me if you want, there are ties in the dressing room.’

The thought of this man in all his glorious masculinity being totally at her mercy was heady enough to make her sway. But then she said, ‘No, it’s okay.’

She got on the bed and maneuvered herself so that she was over Cassian, her legs either side of his hips.

‘You’re going to have to…come up a little and help me…’

He looked down at his body and she followed his gaze to his erection. She could see a bead of moisture at the tip. She took him in her hand. So much bigger and harder than before. His skin slipped up and down the shaft and when she glanced at him his jaw was hard and his eyes were glittering.

‘Lili, please.’

She had never felt so…in control and she realised in that moment that it wasn’t so much about being touched that she feared as not feeling in control, but that was too revelatory for her to try and analyse now.

She came up over him and using her hand on him, positioned herself so that she was hovering over the tip of his body. Slowly, she sank down, taking him inside her.

Cassian’s head was thrown back now, tendons straining in his neck. Lili put her hands on his chest and she could feel his heart thundering and his skin slick with perspiration. She kept sinking down until there was a moment of discomfort. She stopped.

Cassian’s hands were gripping the sheets. He looked at her. ‘I’m going to push against you, okay? It’ll hurt for a second but then it’ll get better, I promise.’

Lili nodded.

Cassian clenched his buttocks and surged upwards and Lili felt that very sharp acute pain as his body pushed even deeper into hers. She gasped out loud.

He stopped and she’d never felt so full.

‘Okay?’ he asked.

She wasn’t sure. She moved experimentally and the discomfort eased. She said breathlessly, ‘I think so.’

‘Okay…now find your rhythm. Move up and down.’

Lili did as he said, finding the passage of his body within hers easier and easier as she moved up and down. The same sensation she’d felt before, the delicious tightening deep down in her body was building again. She moved faster, instinctively. Her fingers were digging into Cassian’s chest. She could see the whites of his knuckles out of the corner of her eye gripping the sheets, but all that was beginning to matter right now was the fact that she had become pure sensation and fire and he was stoking that fire higher and higher every time he moved against her and in her.

She moved against him and he bucked up and into her. Skin slick. Hearts pounding. Cassian let out a harsh groan and said, ‘I’m sorry… I can’t…’

His body jerked up against hers and she could feel the the rush of his climax inside her, just as her own body was held in a state of suspended bliss before cracking open and exploding into pleasure so intense, it made her cry out, back arched, every muscle pulsing and contracting in endless waves of pure ecstasy.

* * *

When Cassian woke it took a long time for consciousness to return. His body felt weighted down. He felt…a deep sense of satisfaction and for a minute his brain was blank… why?— and then it came back in glorious Technicolour.

His eyes opened and he squinted in the dawn light. He lifted his head. The bed was empty. Sheets rumpled. He was laying splayed out as if he’d been used in some sort of ritual sacrifice.

And Lili…his body twitched at the memory of her sitting astride him, her glorious curves, those perfect breasts. Her skin sheened with perspiration, nipples hard, cheeks flushed.

And more…even before that, how she’d obeyed his instructions to pleasure herself, biting her lip, and frowning with concentration as if this was a very important task he’d set her.

And just like that, Cassian’s body was fully hard again, pulsating with need. He groaned and sat up. Last night had been completely unexpected and easily the most erotic experience of his life. Hands down.

The effort it had taken not to reach out and touch her—he hadn’t even known he had that level of control. He’d ached to cup those beautiful breasts and bring them to his mouth so he could explore their hard peaks with his tongue and suck them deep. To put his hand between her legs and feel for himself how ready she was.

He’d seen it in the slick glistening folds of her sex after she’d touched herself and how he hadn’t spilled there and then…would be a mystery for the rest of his life.

He squinted against the light again. Where was she? Something inside him clenched. Was she okay? He’d blacked out after the most intense orgasm he’d ever experienced. He had a vague memory of her breasts touching his chest and maybe he’d stroked her back but then…blankness. A pleasure induced coma.

Cassian usually welcomed waking alone in a bed after making love but this time, he felt uneasy. He was pretty sure it had been as amazing for Lili, he’d felt her body clamping powerfully around his with her climax, almost inducing another climax from him…but it had been her first time.

He got up from the bed, muscles protesting and went into his bathroom to take a cold shower, and then he would look for his wife. His very unexpected and surprising wife.

* * *

Lili had just taken a shower in her own room and was standing on the terrace outside her bedroom in a robe as dawn rose, still grappling with everything that had happened. She felt as if her brain had been taken out of her head and then reinserted.

Was this the same planet? Everything felt a little altered. Like she’d been recalibrated.

She still didn’t fully have words to explain the events of the previous night. She’d passed out in a haze of pleasure, and had woken not long before, her body draped over Cassian’s chest, boneless. And lying there, feeling his heart pounding under her cheek…had been the singularly most profound moment, even more than the sheer physical heights she’d experienced.

His hand had been on her back and she’d recalled how just after making love, with a very gentle, light touch, he had caressed her, up and down and it had felt…so amazing. Comforting. Seductive.

To Lili’s horror she’d felt emotional, a mass of tangled feelings rising up within her for all that had happened. And so as he’d slept, she’d fled, in case he’d wake and look at her, after already seeing her more exposed than she’d ever been before.

And now…as she looked out over the view, she tried her best to piece it all together. She hadn’t minded Cassian’s touch. In fact, when she’d been taking him inside her body, she’d craved to feel his hands on her, molding her hips, holding her so that he could thrust up even harder…she’d wanted him to cup her breasts, put his mouth on her…she just hadn’t been able to articulate it because she’d been dealing with everything else.

This was huge. The fact that he’d handed himself over to her and had let her dictate everything, and feel in control…to show her that it was possible to create that for herself—no wonder her mind was blown to pieces. She’d never in a million years have imagined that a man with his kind of reputation would have that consideration, or patience.

She heard a soft noise behind her and turned around to see the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway between her bedroom and the terrace. Wearing sweatpants low on his hips. Bare chest. Hair damp. Lili was instantly jealous of his shower. He was also holding two small cups and came over in bare feet. ‘Coffee?’

Lili took the cup gratefully and held it in her hands, looking at Cassian over the rim as he came and stood with his backside against the wall. He regarded her and then said, ‘Are you okay?’

She took a sip of coffee to avoid answering for as long as she could. She was okay. More than okay. This man had single-handedly—emotion rose again and she blinked her eyes quickly but not quick enough to hide it. Cassian frowned and took her cup and his own and put them down on the wall. He looked concerned. ‘Lili, did I hurt you?’

She shook her head and saw how he went pale and then she found herself reaching out to put her hands on his chest, as if she hadn’t just broken through an epic personal barrier only hours before.

‘No, you didn’t hurt me. It was just…not what I expected at all.’

‘Did you enjoy it?’

Lili blushed and ducked her head. She took her hands down. She’d never enjoyed anything more. She looked up again, noticing how Cassian’s hands were clenched to fists as if he had to restrain himself from touching her. Between her legs a pulse throbbed to life. She felt that delicious coil of tension.

She asked, ‘Can we…do it again?’

Now his face flushed a little. Eyes very silver in the dawn light. He nodded. ‘If you’d like to.’

Lili felt giddy but she forced herself to sound like she was approaching this as a serious matter. ‘I mean, we should really, if we’re going to follow the instructions of the doctor, you know, to maximise our chances…of conceiving.’ She was a total fraud. Until that moment there hadn’t been the slightest thought of a baby resulting from that conflagration last night. It had been the furthest thing from her mind.

As if colluding with her, Cassian said seriously, but with a suspicious twinkle in his eye, ‘Oh, you’re absolutely right, we should definitely do this again if we want to make sure we’re optimising our chances. We might even have to do it a few more times. Just to be sure, of course.’

Lili felt that tension spiking. ‘Now?’

A muscle twitched in Cassian’s jaw. ‘You’re not sore?’

She shook her head. She was hungry. She moved back into the bedroom and opened her robe and let it drop to the floor. She was naked. She’d never felt freer. As if a massive heavy cloud had blown away from over her head.

Cassian’s gaze devoured her as he stalked into the bedroom.

She was already slightly breathless. ‘I don’t think I need to…you know, touch myself first. I think I’m ready.’

Cassian looked at her while his hands pushed his pants down over his hips. He was naked underneath and when Lili looked down, she gulped. He was ready too.

He went and lay on her bed. He put out his arms, signalling that he wasn’t going to touch her. Her insides liquefied even more. The healing this man had precipitated just by showing her she could trust him was overwhelming.

She came and stood beside the bed. ‘Last night… I wanted you to touch me but I just couldn’t find the words at the time.’

Cassian came up on one elbow and admitted, ‘You have no idea how much I wanted to touch you. I don’t know how I lasted as long as I did. Do you want me to…now?’

Lili nodded, biting her lip, but just as his hands reached for her, she felt a frisson of trepidation and said, ‘Can we go slow…so I can get used to it?’

Cassian looked at her. ‘You can tell me to stop at any point and you tell me where you want me to touch you.’

The trepidation dissolved in a wave of heat. He said, ‘Do you want to be on top again?’

Lili nodded. She knew she still needed to feel that level of control. She got onto the bed and straddled Cassian. He lifted his hands and said, ‘May I?’

She nodded jerkily. She could feel him under her, twitching, long and thick. He put his hands very gently on her hips and it felt good to have him steady her.

Then he said, ‘Come up a little.’ His hands urged her. She obeyed, and felt him take himself in his hand before he stroked himself along the seam of her body. Lili’s head fell back. She leant backwards, placing her hands on his thighs. And then he was at her entrance and Lili looked down to see him feed his erection between her legs and she took him in with a gasp, sitting up straight again.

It was slower this time. Building. Lili moved up and down, skin becoming slick. Cassian’s hands were still on her hips. He was looking at her breasts. Lili said breathlessly, ‘You can touch me there, if you want.’

He looked at her and then down again. His hands came up to her breasts, cupping their weight, fingers moving over her nipples, making them strain and tingle. He pinched one lightly, then the other.

Lili said a little brokenly, ‘Can you put your mouth…on me.’

Cassian sat up a little and he surged deeper inside her, as he brought his mouth to first one breast and then the other. Last night had blown Lili’s mind but she was discovering a whole new level of pleasure to have Cassian’s hands on her and his mouth…and that exquisite sucking heat, stroking her into a paroxysm of pleasure so intense that she was falling over the edge before she’d even realised what was happening.

She looked at Cassian as the waves subsided. ‘I’m sorry… I couldn’t help it.’

He just shook his head. ‘You are so responsive…’

He was still hard inside her. Lili moved experimentally, and he groaned a little. ‘Lili, you don’t have to, we can stop now if you like…’

She shook her head, hair falling over her shoulders, ‘No, you didn’t…you know.’

He huffed a laugh. ‘Come?’

Lili wanted to bury her head in his neck. He must think she was so gauche. But he just said, ‘Are you sure?’

She nodded. ‘Tell me what to do.’

He lay back down and put his hands on her hips, holding her firm, but it didn’t scare her, it thrilled her. He said roughly, ‘Just keep moving, like that…yes… Dio … Lili.’

He bent his head back, she could see the tendons in his neck standing out, and she felt his body surging within hers over and over again and slowly but surely, she could feel her own body reacting again and her eyes widened. ‘Cass… I think I’m going to—’ she stopped talking as he hit a spot so deep inside her that she saw stars.

And then he was clenching his buttocks, driving up and into her and with a harsh shout, she felt his body release inside hers and that alone was all it took to send Lili back over the edge, her own body pulsating along with Cassian’s, and they both spiraled down into endless waves of pleasure.

* * *

‘You called me Cass.’

‘Hm?’ Lili responded sleepily. She was lying on her back, sheet pulled up to her waist. Cassian was on his back beside her. She wasn’t sure how long they’d lain there after that last time. She couldn’t move but she forced her eyes open and turned on her side to face him, pulling the sheet up and holding it to her chest.

She ogled his bare chest shamelessly. The sheet was tangled around his hips, low enough to give her a glimpse of dark hair. Her insides pulsed and she squeezed her thighs together. They could have made a baby by now. But somehow the thought left her feeling a little…hollow. What would happen once she got pregnant? Would that be it? No more sex? Because as flatteringly appreciative of Lili as Cassian seemed to be, she was sure it was part his innate charm and part novelty factor. It wouldn’t endure.

He turned his head to look at her. ‘You called me Cass.’

She had. In the throes of passion. ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t mind. Not many people call me that.’

‘You don’t encourage…familiarity?’

‘As a rule? Not really.’

‘Because of your family?’

He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. Lili asked, ‘Who took care of you afterwards?’

He turned his head away, looking to the ceiling. ‘I had no immediate close family so my care was handled by a board of trustees and guardians who had no clue what to do with an eight-year-old kid who’d just lost his entire world.’

Lili’s chest contracted at the thought of a small bewildered boy. ‘How did that work?’

‘I was sent to boarding school in the UK and then a series of nannies took over in the holidays. And counsellors, lots of counsellors to make sure I was dealing with my grief.’

‘Did it help?’

He let out a short, harsh laugh. ‘I went to sessions and tuned out, I developed a morbid fascination with cars after the accident and became obsessed with racing. As if I wanted to do all that I could to join my family. I didn’t care about anyone, or anything. But I had to learn to care about the family business once I turned twenty-one and realised that thousands of employees across the globe now depended on me for their livelihoods.’

‘The playboy thing…is that all a bit of an act?’ Lili remembered the picture of him with a beautiful woman at an event on the evening before he’d come back to the villa. Her chest constricted even more. Had he slept with her?

He looked at her again. ‘What makes you think it’s an act?’

She lifted a shoulder minutely. ‘Since you’ve been here you haven’t been behaving like a spoiled brat. Wrecking the place. Hosting debauched parties.’

His mouth twitched. ‘Is that what playboys do?’

Lili blushed and shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t really know, it’s just what I’ve seen in the papers. But I get it, maybe it suits to have everyone believe you’re not interested in anything permanent or serious.’

‘Says my wife,’ he responded. ‘You can’t get more permanent than that.’

‘Yes, but it’s not real, is it?’

‘What wasn’t real about what happened last night? That’s the most real thing I’ve felt in a long time.’

Lili looked at him. Messily, sexily tousled hair. The short beard hugging his jaw looking deliciously unkempt. Silver eyes. That twitch on his mouth. Maybe she was the fool here, and maybe he was as debauched as the next playboy, laughing at her earnestness and already planning his escape back to his exciting world, after he’d done the deed to protect his inheritance.

‘You mean since the night before you came back to the villa?’

He frowned at her and then his expression became enigmatic. ‘You looked me up.’

‘Of course I did. You’re my boss.’

‘ Was your boss. And what did you find?’

Lili was sorry she’d started this now. But there was no escape. She was literally naked, beside an equally naked Cassian. Cass.

‘I saw pictures of you at an event in Rome, with a woman.’

‘And you put two and two together and came up with five.’

‘Are you saying you weren’t with her?’

‘Oh, I was with her…as my date. But the truth was that she bored me to tears. We left the event separately.’

Lili hated how the constriction in her chest eased. ‘It’s none of my business.’

‘No,’ he agreed. ‘But as my wife now you’re due a certain consideration.’

Lili’s heart thumped. ‘You’re saying you’ll be discreet…the next time you take a lover.’ Because of course he would be taking a lover. Hadn’t they already agreed to this? But that was before you slept together, pointed out a little voice.

‘Right now there’s only one lover in my life and contrary to popular opinion I’m not in the habit of taking multiple lovers at the same time.’

But then he said, ‘I meant what I said, Lili, I made a vow to myself a long time ago to not let anyone get too close. That hasn’t changed. I know that your first time can be…intense. It’s easy to imagine that emotions are involved and what happened between us was powerful.’

Lili went cold inside. He was telling her not to fall for him. Because she was gauche and inexperienced and naive. She pulled back a little and affected as airy a tone as she could. ‘You’re forgetting that I walked away from my own family, I made a choice not to let anyone close too.’

‘Good, then we’re on the same page.’

But in spite of her brave words, Lili had a feeling that she wasn’t so sure of anything anymore.

Cassian reached over and held his hand over where Lili was clutching the sheet to her chest. He said, ‘May I?’

The coldness inside her started to melt. Weakly she nodded her head. Cassian pulled the sheet down, exposing her to his gaze. He looked at her belly. Her very average and slightly soft belly. His eyes flared with heat.

He looked into her eyes. ‘Can I put my hand on you?’

Lili nodded. She lay back. Cassian put his hand on her belly, fingers spread out. Then, he leant forward and put his mouth on her shoulder and then on her breast…finding her pebbled nipple.

Meanwhile his hand moved down, over her belly and down further, between her legs. Fingers seeking and finding the secret folds of her flesh where the pulse throbbed and where an ache was already building. She parted her legs, allowing him full access.

Her back arched as he inserted two fingers. And this time, when he moved over her body and she looked up at him before he joined them, Lili realised that she felt no fear at all, just a growing insatiable hunger.

None of this was remotely linked with emotion. She’d cut off her emotions long ago too, when she’d learned that she wasn’t lovable. Not even Cassian Corti could change that. No matter how amazing the sex might be.