Page 8

eight

. . .

Viv

A year ago, I’d never have thought I’d be up close and personal with the Boston Grizzlies schedule. Sure, Vanessa is dating Sven and works for the team. But then Sadie’s new boyfriend joined the team staff too. And now Rachel started dating their goalie.

Tonight is an away game and the girls are gathering to watch the game at Ceci’s insistence. I’m not sure why she’s so invested in getting all of our book club to watch the games. They have over eighty games in a season. I’m not associated with the team, plus my brother plays for another team. I have no reason to watch the Grizzlies.

When Ceci declared we were gathering, I knew I couldn’t get out of it. Not without lying outright, and I don’t lie to my friends. I don’t feel like it is not a good enough reason for Ceci. As much as I love her, she’s a lot . She knows it, and she listens and backs off when we tell her we need space. Usually.

It’s been a week since I ran into Tony at the animal shelter, and I’ve only thought about it, like, seventeen times a day since. The sight of all those tattooed muscles wrapped up in a leather jacket, holding a tiny little kitten on his motorcycle… My pulse throbs at the memory and I lick my lips automatically.

“Okay, seriously,” Sadie says, cutting into my thoughts. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. What’s up with you?” I turn the tables on her.

“You’re distracted,” she says, eyeing me curiously. “I know watching the Grizzlies isn’t your favorite thing to do, but?—”

“I support all Boston sports.” It’s kind of my job.

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean.”

“How’s Chuck?” Ceci cuts in. I wasn’t even aware she was paying attention to us.

“He’s fine.” I think. Actually, I haven’t talked to my brother in a bit. I’m not even sure if he’s home or away right now.

“Send him my love,” Ceci says, waggling her eyebrows.

She has a weird fascination with my brothers and flirts with both of them whenever they’re in town. Perry and Chuck are twins but have completely different career paths. Chuck is a forward for the Colorado hockey team and Perry is a defensive back for the Raleigh football team. It depends on the day which one she’s more interested in.

Neither of them has any interest in her, but in the three years I’ve known her, she hasn’t been deterred. I don’t think she’d actually pursue them. It’s more the idea of needling me. She’s the world’s biggest flirt with absolutely zero follow-through.

Laughing, I thaw out a bit. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

Sipping my soda, I take in the bar. Despite being in Cambridge, it’s not a college student bar. Thank goodness. I’m a little too old to be hanging out in the same type of grungy dive bars of my youth. I’m on the younger side of my friend group, Ceci on the older end.

The chime above the door rings out, and I glance in that direction automatically. My drink goes down the wrong pipe and I choke.

“What’s wrong?” Rachel asks.

My eyes are glued to the group of men standing in the doorway, led by Tony fucking Gonzales in his motherfucking leather jacket.

Is he aware that a hot tattooed man on a motorcycle in a leather jacket is my weakness?

“Ooh, who’s that?” Sadie cuts in, following my gaze. “He is pretty .”

I scowl at her.

“What? He’s pretty. If I wasn’t happy with my own man, I’d be all over that hunk like brie on bread.”

Shaking my head, I take a deep breath and then take a sip of my soda.

“Do you know him?” Vanessa cuts in.

Wincing, I admit: “He’s my teammate’s brother.”

Ceci cackles so loudly, heads turn in our direction.

Including his.

Tony’s eyes go wide and a slow smirk spreads over his face. It shouldn’t make him look even more attractive, but unfortunately for me, it does. My stomach flutters and my core throbs.

“Great. I just want to die now,” I snap, running my hand through my hair. It’s one of the rare occasions it’s not tied up in a ponytail or messy bun. For once, I’m not wearing leggings, either; I put on real pants and a real bra to come to this meetup.

“Do we like him?” Sadie asks. “Or do we hate him?”

“Hate,” I mutter. The weight of his powerful gaze is still on me. I can’t get away from it. My spine itches under his scrutiny.

“Why do we hate your teammate’s brother?” Van asks.

With a sigh, I scrub my hands over my face. “Because I met him first. Three years ago.” When they don’t react, I whisper. “Biblically.”

“Damn, girl,” Ceci says. She lifts her hand for a high five. “He looks like the kind to give it to you good.”

I’m already in hell. So why not tell them the truth?

They’re all aware I’m sober, that it’s from an awful experience I haven’t wanted to talk about. I’m sure they’ll support me unconditionally and they won’t spread my secrets.

So why is my stomach churning? I break out into a sweat and have to take a few more deep breaths.

“That night was the last time I drank alcohol. Haven’t touched a drop since.”

“Shit, girl,” Sadie says, shaking her head. She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Did he…” Rachel pauses. “Was it all consensual?”

Wincing, I nod. “Yeah. He didn’t drug me or anything. I was into it, from what I remember. I just… didn’t like the way I woke up. Or how I felt when I did.”

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Van says. She reaches across and takes my hand. “Thank you for sharing with us. It means a lot. We don’t take it lightly.”

Tears spring to my eyes. It’s so sudden and out of character, I don’t know what to do.

Rachel gets out of her chair and walks around the table, wrapping me in a hug. “Oh, babe.”

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” I mutter, wiping at my eyes.

“It’s okay to not be okay,” Sadie says seriously. “That was a big thing to share. A big thing to keep buried deep.”

“I’m over it,” I lie. I’m definitely not. I thought I was, I’d buried it down deep enough but seeing him again has only proven that I’ve never actually dealt with it.

“We need food,” Ceci declares. “If we’re going to spy on this super hot guy we hate, we need snacks.”

Forcing a laugh, I wipe away the last remnants of my tears. “I’ll get it. One of everything, right?” That’s our usual M.O. when we get together.

Ceci tries to hand over her card, but I wave it away. I don’t have her kind of money, but I can treat my friends to bar snacks.

On shaky legs, I make my way to the bar and squeeze into an empty spot. Even though I don’t need it, I pick up a menu and pretend like I’m not hiding out.

Why is he here? Of all the bars in the city, he picks the one where I am. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he has a tracking beacon installed in my shoe. Except, one, when would he have been able to do that, and two, why would he even care?

We’re nothing to each other. It was one night, three years ago. It meant nothing.

Except it changed everything for me.

A warm body slides in beside me. The familiar scent of sandalwood and leather wash over me as Tony fucking Gonzales stands next to me. Why does he have to smell so good? I want to bury my face in his neck and inhale. Except not his neck. Just the neck of the guy that smells that good.

He’s discarded his leather jacket, resting his forearms on the bar beside me. He doesn’t look at me.

“What are you doing here?” I bite out.

To my surprise, he chuckles. “It’s always what are you doing here with you, never, hi, it’s nice to see you again. ”

“I’m not a liar.”

“No, I don’t suppose you are,” Tony says lightly. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I’m with my friends.” The words are hard to say.

“So am I.”

The bartender makes his way over to us, greeting Tony first.

“She was here first,” he says, hooking his thumb in my direction.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks, looking bored.

“One of each on the appetizer menu, plus an extra order of the spicy cauliflower,” I order. “Thanks.”

He nods at me, walking over to the terminal to enter the order.

“That’s a lot of food,” Tony comments.

“That’s a lot of none of your fucking business ,” I tell him blandly.

The bartender returns with the check. Glancing at the receipt to make sure it’s correct, I give him my card.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks Tony.

Like it’s coming through static, I hear him placing an order for multiple drinks. I take a slow, deep breath, but it doesn’t help the static feeling inside my head. He makes me lose all sense of myself. I don’t like it. I know who I am; I like who I am.

I don’t like what he’s turned me into—now, or back then.

Turning away, I head back to my table. I’ve only made it two steps when I stumble.

But before I can hit the ground, there are hands catching me. Tony yanks me upright and doesn’t let go of me until I’m back on my two feet.

“Careful, there,” he says, and I can’t decide if I’m reading into it or if he’s mocking me. “Damn, how much have you had to drink?”

“I’m sober.” I scowl at him. Straightening my shirt, I glare at him. Why did he have to be the one to catch me? “Thanks,” I mutter after a beat.

“Anytime,” he says, his voice dipping. He leans closer. “Listen?—”

I shake my head. I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to prolong this any longer than I have to.

“I’ve got to go,” I say, hooking a thumb back at my friends.

“Do you want to?—”

“No.” I want nothing to do with him.

Tony searches my eyes for a moment before he sighs and takes a step back. “Have a good night, Vivienne.”

My bad mood sours further. “My name is Viv.”