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eighteen

. . .

Tony

I wake up to three thousand notifications on my Instagram. My good mood evaporates, just like that.

My first date with Vivienne went great. After her quiet confession in the stands, we watched the rest of the game, trading innocent touches and little kisses. When I drove her home, we parked my bike in front of her building and made out for what felt like forever.

She didn’t invite me in and I didn’t ask.

And now…

Opening Instagram, I see I’ve been tagged in a dozen different photos. Most of them are from last night, the two of us at the basketball game, a few shots of us kissing. There’s even a photo from when we went to have coffee the other day.

I knew Vivienne was a public figure, but I didn’t think she was so well known that people would be essentially stalking her. I really didn’t think they’d be able to figure out who I w as, especially not this quickly.

My phone lights up with a call from her, and I answer immediately.

“Good morning.” My voice comes out husky and sleep-hoarse.

“I’m so sorry,” she blurts.

“Sorry about what?”

“You should check social media,” she says. “They’re… well, it’s everywhere. Our date.”

“I saw it. It’s fine.”

It’s not fine. I don’t enjoy having my privacy violated. But they don’t care about me, they’re interested in her. As soon as she breaks this off, I’m sure they’ll lose interest in me.

Vivienne is quiet. I can hear noise on the other end of the call—it hasn’t dropped—but she doesn’t say anything.

“Maybe we should cool off for a little while,” she finally says.

My stomach drops. Last night, I thought she was interested in seeing where this could go.

“Is that what you want?”

She lets out a noise of frustration. “No. But I don’t want you dragged into anything that makes you uncomfortable. Especially when you have Worlds on the line.”

“I’m fine, it’s fine.”

She laughs. “Yeah, you’re super convincing.”

“I just want to get to know you better,” I tell her. “Do I like that people were taking photos of us without our consent? No. Does that make me want to stop dating you? No. I like you . I can deal with them as long as it means more time with you.”

“Fuck,” she whispers.

“What’s wrong?”

She sighs. “You’re saying everything right. I just…”

“Does this make you change your mind?”

“No. I’m used to this. My agent might care though.”

Oh. I hadn’t thought about that.

“Would they have an issue with it?” Holding my breath, I run my hand through my hair as I wait.

“I don’t know,” Vivienne finally says. “My sponsors might.”

“Your sponsors might care that you have a boyfriend?”

“Is that what we are?” Her voice is quiet.

“It’s where I’d like us to go,” I tell her honestly. “I want to date you. I want to be with you.”

It’s uncomfortable putting myself on the line like this. At the same time, I don’t think I could hide anything from her. Open, honest communication is the only way we’ll have a chance at doing this.

“I’ll have to think about this,” she says.

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

We hang up and I go about my morning routine, getting ready for a full day of training before a shift at the steakhouse. I only have a two-hour break in between.

When I get to the kitchen, Cari is at the table, drinking a protein shake and eating a banana. I make a face. I absolutely hate bananas. The smell, the taste… everything about them makes me gag.

“Good morning to you too,” my sister says when she sees my grossed out face. “How was your date?”

“It went well.”

“Think you’re going to see Viv again?”

I stop in my tracks. I didn’t tell her who I was going out with, just that I had a date.

“W-who?”

Cari rolls her eyes. “You know, my team captain. The woman you were sucking face with all night?”

She shows me her phone, where there’s another photo of us. This one I haven’t seen yet. Her tongue is quite obviously in my mouth.

“I’m guessing she doesn’t hate you anymore.”

“Nope.” It doesn’t thrill me anymore, not with her having one foot out the door.

Bustling through the kitchen, I start preparing my own protein shake. No bananas.

“Come on. What’s that face for?”

“I can’t talk to you about this.”

“Why not?” Cari asks. “She’s my team captain.”

“Exactly. You have to work with her. I don’t want to make things awkward.”

“You won’t.”

Turning on the blender, I let it whirr. Cari opens her mouth and I press the button again.

“But—”

I drown out her voice until she finally gets the hint and stops talking.

“Don’t be a dick, Tone,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I just want me to be happy too,” I mutter as I pour my shake into a glass.

“And Viv makes you happy?”

A beat pulses between us.

“Tony,” Cari says firmly. “Does Viv make you happy?”

Slowly, I raise my eyes to hers. There’s no anger, just concern.

“I think she could,” I tell her quietly.

“Then go after her. Tell her. Show her.”

“It’s not that easy. She’s worried about her career.”

“Good. That means she’s still grounded in reality,” Cari says. “She’s not off in la la land. She’s thinking about how to make it work. So show her you’re in this. Prove that you’re serious about her.”

I carry my sister’s words with me throughout the day. All through training, it’s all I can think about. Even when Coach yells at me to get out of my head, I can’t seem to bring myself to focus on the here and now.

“What’s with you today?” Brody asks when I fall for the third time in five routines on the high bar.

“Got a lot on my mind.” Dusting myself off, I head for the chalk bowl and prepare to start again.

“Well, you need to focus. Compartmentalize all of that shit,” he says. “World’s will be here in a few weeks. They’re watching all of our practices ahead of selection camp next week. You’ve got to be on your game.”

“I know, I know.”

Nothing he’s saying is news to me. I know how this works. Next week, they’ll decide who goes to the Worlds Championships and who will go to the other competitions rounding out the rest of the year. I’ve gone through this process for years. Usually, I’m better at turning my brain off and focusing on the skills.

Today? All I can think of is Vivienne. What if I lose her before we ever have a chance to begin?