Page 31

thirty-one

. . .

Viv

It absolutely kills me that I’m on a plane when Tony wins his gold medal. I’ve paid through the nose for in-flight Wi-Fi and Charlotte is live-texting me the scores, but I can’t actually be there in person. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself.

Tony insisted it didn’t matter to him. I was lucky to get three days away from the team over our weekend off. There’s still a risk I’ll face discipline for skipping practice the other day. That’s a chance I’ll have to take. Being there for his competitions whenever I can, however I can, I’ll support him.

Even if it’s on a plane ride.

When I land in Boston, my phone lights up. Alycia’s sent me photos of his medal ceremony. He joked he was an ugly crier and the pictures don’t lie; his face is red and splotchy, his eyes swollen as they place the gold medal around his neck.

I start to tear up. The pure emotion on his face overwhelms me. This is what he’s worked for all these years, and seeing it come to fruition is recognition of all the work he’s put in for the last twenty years. Even though I couldn’t be there in the moment, I feel like I’ve been there with him for this too.

The girls rib me at practice over skipping town, the coaches shake their heads, and life goes on.

Every morning, I wake up alone in my bed. I make a protein shake using Pump It Up Protein and text Tony a photo, wishing he could be there with me but knowing why he can’t. I wouldn’t want him to give up a single moment of this competition, especially knowing it will be his last. He wouldn’t want me to sacrifice my career for him, and I feel the exact same way.

It sucks to be apart. But this is the job, and there’s a finite end to it. It won’t be like this forever.

So despite counting down the days and then the hours until we can be together again, I live my life. A night out at book club, brunch with my teammates…

And when my brother comes into town for his game against the Grizzlies, I visit him too. He left my name with the arena staff, but before I can pull out my ID to check in, I hear my name called.

“Viv!”

Al is wearing a Grizzlies T-shirt and athletic shorts. He crosses the players’ entrance lobby and tugs me into a hug.

“How was Rotterdam?” he asks, tugging me past the guard with a nod.

“It was good. He did so well.”

“I’m so proud of him,” he says quietly. “I wish I could have been there.”

I squeeze his arm. “He knows why you weren’t.”

He was on a road trip to Detroit and then Toronto. They just got home yesterday.

“So, what brings you to my little corner?” Al gives me a cheeky grin. “You ready to dump that oaf?”

I laugh. “Your brother isn’t an oaf.”

His eyes sparkle with laughter. “Oh, so you’re here to see your oaf of a brother?”

“Something like that.”

Al gasps playfully. “You traitor.”

“Nope. I’m neutral.”

“Please tell me you will at least wear my sweater tonight,” Al begs as we approach the visitor’s training area.

“I think your brother might have an issue with me wearing a different Gonzales on my back.”

“We have the same name.” He waves it away. “Now, if you wore Larsson’s sweater, he might have a problem with it, but I’m family.”

“Yeah, but Chuck’s my baby brother.”

Al laughs loudly. “You hear that, Gallagher?” There are a few guys in Colorado Dragons T-shirts kicking a soccer ball around, my brother with them. “You’re her baby brother.”

“Fuck off,” Chuck says with a scowl on his face.

Al grins. “You really are related!”

Laughing, I give Al a quick hug. “Thanks for making sure I got here safely.”

“I’ll see you after the game,” he promises. “I’ll be the good-looking Gonzales brother.”

Chuck snorts. “You really think that?”

My brother opens his arms and I hug him. He’s taller than me, wider than me, and overall stronger than me, but he’s still a softy at heart.

“You look good, Viv,” he says quietly.

“I feel really good.” I pull back to look him over.

There’s a definite family resemblance. We share the same dark hair and sharp facial features. He has green eyes—and his twin’s are blue—whereas I have brown. He keeps his hair short and his beard neatly maintained.

“How have you been?” I catalog the exhaustion on his face, the weariness in his eyes.

“I’m okay,” he says, his voice lacking some of its usual warmth.

“Just okay?” I pinch his chin in my fingers, studying him more closely.

“My girl and I broke up,” Chuck finally says, his eyes darting away from mine.

“I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”

“Well, it wasn’t serious. We weren’t social media official,” he says defensively. He sighs. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap. I just miss her.”

Curling my arms around him, I wrap him in a hug. “I’m sorry, Chucky.”

“Yeah, me too.” He hugs me close. “I’ll be okay. It’s still fresh.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

He chuckles sadly. “Maybe don’t mention it in the group chat?”

“You’ve got it.”

“Come on,” he says. “Let me introduce you to the team.”

He’s been with Colorado for three seasons now, so I’ve met a few of his teammates before, and they say hello and offer hugs or handshakes. He introduces me to the players I haven’t met.

“So you’re friends with the Grizzlies,” Chuck says slowly as he leads me to the dining room, where a few catering trays are laid out. I fix myself a cup of tea as he grabs a sandwich.

“I guess so. A few of my friends are dating people on the team.”

“And Gonzales,” he points out.

I roll my eyes. “You mean my boyfriend’s brother?”

“Yeah. He seemed awfully friendly.”

“That’s just Al.”

Chuck is quiet for a moment. “I’m glad you have him in your corner.”

“I am too.”

“It’s hard. Being away from everyone.” He sighs. “I know I have Janine in town, but I don’t get to see her much. Perry’s in the middle of his season. Frankie never returns my calls. And Bradley… I don’t know what to do with him.”

“There’s nothing to do,” I tell him. “He’s living his life. It’s not your job to manage him, or any of the rest of them.”

He looks away. “I miss Perry.”

“Me too.”

“No, like…” He sighs. “It’s different with us.”

“The twin thing?”

“I’ve always been able to manage the distance. I would never want to come between him and his career,” Chuck says. “I just wish his career and mine didn’t mean we’re fifteen hundred miles apart.”

“Have you thought about asking for a trade? Raleigh has an NHL team…”

He shakes his head. “Denver isn’t going to trade me. And I’m halfway certain that as soon as I get settled wherever he is, he’s going to up and sign somewhere else. Like he did when you were living with him.”

“That’s not the same thing. He was traded.” As sad as I was to see him leave the comfortable life we’d built here, I knew it wasn’t something either of us could control.

And I’d never want to hold my brother back. Any of my siblings. I want us all to climb the highest mountains and crush our goals.

“Sometimes people move away, they have new priorities in their lives,” I tell my brother. “It doesn’t mean they stop loving you. It just means their priorities have shifted.”

He grunts, like he doesn’t quite believe me. “I guess.”

“You will always be twins. You’ll always be brothers. Nothing will take that away.”

Chuck shakes his head. “Logically, I know that, but…”

“But it still hurts to realize he’s not your number one phone call,” I finish.

“Yeah. It’s silly. We’ve been living in different cities since we went off to college. And it’s not like we were attached at the hip during breaks.” My brother sighs. “I miss the stupid butthead.”

I roll my eyes. “Have you told him?”

He stares at me. “What?”

“Have you picked up the phone and called him? Or texted? Hey, my girlfriend and I just broke up and I’m deep in my feels, can you please be there for me? ”

He blinks a few times. “No?” His voice goes up an octave. “Why would I do that?”

It’s my turn to shake my head. “You’re kind of dumb sometimes, Chucky. He has no idea you’re feeling like this. You have to tell him. Open and honest communication is the bedrock of all relationships.”

He makes a face. “Ew, gross. You know I’m allergic to feelings.”

“Charles Lawrence Gallagher, you are not allergic to feelings,” I snap. “Trust me. Six weeks ago, the thought of talking shit out would make me break out in hives. You’re nowhere near as bad as I was. Call your brother and tell him you fucking miss him.”

“How’d you get through it?” Chuck asks. “How’d you stop with the hives?”

The thought of Tony makes me smile, and he nods knowingly.

“Ah. The sex?”

Balling up a napkin, I toss it at him. “No, you goofball. He loves me. He wants me to succeed. And I love him back. I support him like he’s supporting me.”

“So when do I get to meet him?”

I check my watch, even though I already know. “His flight lands in a few hours. He’ll be at the game tonight.”

“Great,” Chuck says with a toothy grin. “I can’t wait to meet the guy who made my grumpy sister turn into a love-sick fool.”