Page 27 of Risk (Gods #3)

I t’s late, and Kaden is driving me home after dinner with my family.

Which, once the initial shock had gone, turned out to be a good evening.

It didn’t take my family long to get over the surprise I’d landed on them and for it to turn into excitement at the prospect of two new little people coming into our ever-expanding family.

I did speak to Ari privately and explained to her that Cam knew I was pregnant before she did because I had gone to her for advice, and Ari, being her usual amazing self, took it in stride.

She wasn’t upset at all and said she completely understood, which was a relief.

She told me she was just excited about becoming an aunt again.

Kaden pulls his car into a parking spot outside my building. It’s started to rain outside, so I’m planning my dash to the door of my building when he says, “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” I turn to him. “What about?”

“I’ll walk you up, and we’ll talk then.”

We’re silent on the walk into the building and up to my studio, and I’m wondering what he wants to talk about.

I’m feeling kind of worn out after the talk with my family, so I hope this is something simple, like, What are your preferences—two boys?

Two girls? Or one of each? I honestly don’t have a preference, but one of each does sound nice.

Like Lo and me. But something tells me Kaden doesn’t want to talk about the genders of our babies because he was pretty quiet on the drive back now that I’m thinking about it.

Maybe things are good with him and Zeus. Did they have a private chat? But they seemed good with each other when we were leaving.

I let us into my studio, toeing off my shoes. I drop my purse on the kitchen counter and go to the fridge. Peering inside, I grab the carton of orange juice.

“You want some?” I ask Kaden as I reach for a glass.

“No.”

“You want something else?”

“No.” His tone is off.

Placing the glass and juice carton on the countertop, I turn to face him. He’s standing across the room from me, his back leaning against the wall. His arms folded across his chest. Everything about his body language screams tense.

I get a pang of worry in my chest. He hasn’t changed his mind about the babies, has he?

No, he wouldn’t. But the things my brothers were saying might have freaked him out.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, what they said about us being together or getting married—what frigging decade are they living in?

And like they would have gotten married if it were them.

Actually, Zeus would have married Cam if he’d known back then that she was pregnant with Gigi.

And Ares is a little traditional. He would have definitely wanted to marry Ari if she’d gotten pregnant in the early days of their relationship.

“What’s up?” I say to him, trying to make my voice sound normal and not betray my concerns.

“Something you said has been bothering me.”

“Something I said? When?”

“Tonight, at Zeus’s.”

“Okay. What did I say that’s been bothering you?”

“That I don’t want to be with you.”

I let out a small laugh, pick up the carton, and pour juice into my glass. “You don’t.”

“Says who?”

“You.”

He pushes off the wall so he’s standing straight. “I’ve never once said that.”

“You said it when you left the hotel while I was still sleeping.”

“For fuck’s sake.” He drags a hand through his hair.

“You want to know why I left that hotel? Not because I didn’t want you.

Don’t want you. It’s because I’m not good enough for you .

Because I’m older than you. Because your brother is the closest thing I’ve ever had to family.

It was never because I didn’t want you. I’ve wanted you for years. ”

I shake my head in confusion.

He moves a step closer. “I want you, Missy. I always have.”

His words shock my system like a nuclear explosion dusting my vital organs.

And, God, do I want to believe him, but he’s saying this now.

When I’m pregnant with his children. I know Kaden never really had a family, growing up.

I know he grew up in the foster care system.

It would make sense that he would want a family.

That’s easier for me to believe than him saying that he’s wanted me for years, but never did anything because he thinks he isn’t good enough for me.

I mean, Jesus Christ, look at him. He’s beautiful. He’s smart, thoughtful, caring—when he’s not ditching me in a hotel room.

And I want to be with him, but not like this. Not for the sake of our babies. I want to be with a man who wants me. Not what I now have to offer him.

“I…” I swallow. “I’m sorry, Kaden. I just…”

“You don’t believe me?”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t. How can I know if you’re saying this because you actually want to be with me or because you want the babies?”

“Jesus, Missy. I have the babies whether or not we’re together. I’ll always be in their lives.”

“But being a part-time parent isn’t as good as being a full-time one.”

“Babe, there’s no part-time parenting for me. I’m all in. I’m going to be caring for them when you’re at school, and then I’ll be there with them when you come home at night.”

Babe.

I ignore the stupid butterflies that gives me and focus on the latter part of his sentence. “What do you mean, when I come home at night?”

“We’re going to live together once the babies arrive. Well, before they arrive.”

“Are we?” My eyes are as wide as the plates stacked in my kitchen cupboard.

“It makes the most sense. You live in university housing.” He gestures around my small studio. “There’s not enough room here for you, let alone two kids. My place is bigger. It has three bedrooms. Plus, you’re going to need help through the final stages of pregnancy.”

“So, you just assume that I’m going to move in with you. What the hell, Kaden? You can’t just come in here and tell me that I’m moving in with you. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Come on. You can’t possibly think that you would live here with our two kids, and I’d live in my apartment with all that space, and we’d just bounce the kids between places. It’s not logical.”

I know it’s not logical. But I’m not feeling very logical at this moment. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s being told what to do.

My stubborn hands find my hips. “Okay, so let’s say we live together in your massive apartment .

” There’s definite snark on those last two words.

“What if I want to date? Once the twins are born and we all settle into a routine and I decide I want to move on with that part of my life, what happens when I bring that date home with me? Would you be okay with that?”

I wouldn’t do that because I’d never introduce my children to a man who’s not going to stay for the long-term, but this isn’t about sensible; it’s about pushing his buttons, which seems to be working.

If I said his face darkened, it would be an understatement. It’s like a Category Four storm has blown into his face.

“You plan on dating?” His jaw pops as he speaks.

“Well, not while I’m pregnant, obviously. But after, yeah. I’m not going to stay single forever.” The last part is true, but I won’t be thinking of dating until the twins are older and I’m done with school.

His brows push together. “You wouldn’t be single if you’d stop being stubborn and be with me.”

That pushes all of my buttons. “I’m not being stubborn! We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if I wasn’t pregnant! And I refuse to be with someone who only wants to be with me because I’m having their babies!”

“That isn’t why I want to be with you!” he fires back.

“Bullshit! You left after we had sex! While I was sleeping! You snuck out of that hotel room like I was some dirty little secret! And I didn’t hear a thing from you for four fucking weeks! Nothing! You didn’t want to be with me then, and you don’t want to be with me now.”

“Did you not listen to a word I just said?”

“I heard everything you said. I just don’t believe you.”

“What about Zeus’s party?”

“What about it? You were jealous, and your pride was bruised because you thought Aaron was my date. It’s the classic case of not wanting someone, but not wanting someone else to have them either.”

“Don’t pull your psychology bullshit on me.”

“Fuck off. It’s not bullshit. That is exactly what happened.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Beautiful.”

He walks—no, stalks—across the room toward me, stopping only inches away. I have to tilt my face to look at his.

“I’ve told you why I kept my distance. Why I left that night. You deserve better than me. You still do.”

His eyes are pinning me to the spot. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.

“Being inside you that night…feeling you, tasting you for the first time…it’s made it harder for me to find the strength to stay away from you, to not be selfish and just take you for myself.

But things are different now. Yes, you’re pregnant with my children, but that’s not why I’m saying these things.

I’m saying them because they’re true. They always have been, and being here with you, spending time around you, it makes it impossible for me to stay away for the reasons I used to. ”

He leans in, and I bump back against the counter, my heart pounding in my chest. There’s zero space between us. He’s so close that I can feel the heat from his body, and it’s making my nipples tighten and my clit pulse.

Fucking stupid, hormonal, pregnant body.

It doesn’t take much to turn me on nowadays, and with Kaden this close to me, it’s impossible for me not to want him.

My panties are already damp.

His eyes drop to my mouth, and it dries. I have to resist the urge to lick my lips. Because I will not go there with him.

I can’t .

He drags his eyes slowly up my face and stares into my eyes.

“You want me, Beautiful. And I sure as fuck want you. In my bed and in my life. Permanently. I’ll never be good enough for you—that’s for sure.

But I’ll work hard to be the best man I can be for you.

And I am going to prove to you that I want you, Beautiful. You .”

The look he gives me grabs me by the hand and pulls me underwater. I feel like I’m drowning in sensation and feelings.

He leans in and brushes his lips over my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I’m still standing there when my door clicks closed behind him. My heart is no longer in my chest. It followed him out the door.