Page 17 of Risk (Gods #3)

“ T hanks for coming into the city to see me,” I say to Cam when she slides into the booth seat opposite me after kissing me on the cheek.

I arrived first. I wanted to sit down and prepare myself for the conversation that I was about to have with her.

I already feel bad because I’m going to ask her not to tell Zeus.

I want to be the one to tell him, but I really need her advice.

She’s the only person I know who has been in a similar situation to the one I’m now in.

“Are you kidding? A lunch date in the city with one of my favorite sisters-in-law? Babe, you are doing me a favor.” She picks up the menu and opens it. “Was Ari busy?”

Usually, when we get together for a girlie lunch, Ari comes with us.

“Oh, I, um…I didn’t ask her. I wanted to, uh…talk to you…alone.”

Her eyes lift from the menu to me, clear curiosity there. “Oh. Okay. Should we order now? Or do you want to talk right away?”

“Order first.”

“Okay.”

Her eyes go back to the menu, and I open mine up.

“So, are we having mimosas with lunch? I took the train in so I could treat myself to a liquid lunch.”

“Oh, um, you go ahead, but I…”

She drops her menu. “You’re pregnant.”

My face gets hot, and I glance around, making sure nobody heard her, but there’s no one nearby.

I start to pick at the edge of my menu, thinking how exactly to answer her question.

Yes , is probably a good start.

Her hand touches mine, and my eyes lift to hers. I’m embarrassed to say they fill with tears and my lip wobbles.

“Oh, honey, it’s okay.” She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I feel someone approach the table. Shit, it’s the waiter. I turn my face away, blinking quickly, trying to clear my eyes of the tears.

“Can we just get a glass of still water and a mimosa for now? Thanks.”

“Of course.”

I hear footsteps retreating, and I brave turning my eyes back to Cam. What I see when I look at her only makes my eyes fill up again. Compassion and understanding are all that’s on her face.

I really do have the best family.

I pick up the napkin from the table and discreetly wipe the moisture from my eyes.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Cam says gently. “But I have a feeling that’s why you asked me to lunch.”

“If I’d known I was going to start blubbering, then I’d have asked you to have lunch at my place.”

“Your hormones are all over the place at the moment, and I’m guessing this wasn’t a…planned pregnancy.”

“Nope.” My voice sounds watery.

“I figured, with you still being in school, and I know you’re not currently dating anyone—are you?”

I shake my head.

“Don’t feel like you have to tell me who the father is because that doesn’t matter to me. What matters is you and what I can do to help you.”

I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Thank you.”

I told Lo that Kaden is the father, but I’m already about to ask her not to tell Zeus that I’m pregnant. I don’t want to ask her to keep the fact that Zeus’s friend is the father quiet as well.

“I appreciate it so much.”

“Nothing to appreciate. I’m your family, and we take care of one another.”

The waiter is back and putting our drinks down. “Are you ladies ready to order yet?” he asks.

Cam glances at me, waiting to see if I’m ready to eat.

“Sure,” I tell him. I quickly glance at the menu. “I’ll have the broccoli salad.” Honestly, I’m nervous about what is and isn’t okay to eat, so I figure vegetables won’t cause any harm.

If I decide to have this baby, then I need to learn what is safe for the baby in terms of food.

“I’ll have the same,” Cam tells him.

I take a sip of my water. “I, um…I know this is shitty of me to ask, but I was hoping you’d be able to keep this between us. At least until I decide what I’m going to do and have spoken to the father.”

“You have my word. This stays between us until you tell me otherwise.”

“Thank you,” I exhale. “I feel bad, asking you to keep this from Zeus.”

“Zeus is your brother and my husband, but you’re my sister and friend. You need me to keep something to myself, then I do.”

“Have I told you lately how much I adore you?”

“Not really. A text telling me every now and then would be appreciated,” she teases, and I manage a real smile.

I trace my finger along the condensation on my water glass. “Cam…can I ask, when you found out you were pregnant with Gigi and the situation you were in, how, um…did you decide what you were going to do? If you don’t mind me asking. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Cam and my brother Zeus were childhood sweethearts.

He was already shaping up to be a professional boxer and was spending more and more time away from home, even leaving the country for fights and training.

Cam was accepted into Juilliard. The distance between them became too much, and Zeus, thinking he was doing the right thing at the time, decided it was best to break up with Cam. He cut off all contact with her.

Then, she found out she was pregnant. She had no way of contacting him.

She finally managed to get ahold of his god-awful manager, and she told him that she was pregnant.

He said he would have Zeus call her. He never told Zeus.

Instead, he called Cam back and told her that Zeus said he didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby.

Cam left Juilliard and moved back home, where she had my gorgeous niece, Gigi.

Years later, through an accidental meeting one night in the club where Cam was working in NYC, Zeus found out he had a daughter. He had never stopped loving Cam and fought hard to win her back. They’re great now, happier than ever. Married, and they had my other gorgeous niece, Thea.

But Cam knows what it’s like to be alone and pregnant.

“Of course I’ll tell you.” She smiles warmly before taking a sip of her mimosa. “Obviously, I kept Gigi—”

“How did you decide that was what you were going to do?”

She gives me a look of caution. “I don’t want you to be swayed by anything I say. Every woman is different. We all have our own beliefs.”

“I know. I won’t be swayed in any way. I just…” I let out a breath. “I know adoption isn’t for me. The thought of an abortion makes me feel ill. The thought of having a baby scares the ever-loving shit out of me.”

“Abortion was never an option for me, personally. Not because I don’t agree or believe in it.

It was just…it was my and Zeus’s baby, you know?

Even though I hated him at the time, I still loved him.

I’d loved him for what felt like forever, and I’d already had to let him go, and I couldn’t imagine letting go of another part of him, if that makes sense. ”

“It makes perfect sense.”

“Even though I always knew I wanted to keep Gigi, that didn’t mean I wasn’t terrified and didn’t question if I’d made the right choice on a daily basis.”

“I know you were younger than me when you found out you were pregnant—”

“Honey, it doesn’t matter how old you are, what position in life you’re in. Having a baby is scary. Even if they’re planned.”

I chew on the inside of my lip. “When I first found out, I freaked out because I’m just in my first semester of my PhD. I panicked and thought that I’d have to leave school. But I’ve had a few days to process, and I know I could do both. I could have a baby and do my PhD.”

“You absolutely could.”

“But…I’m just afraid of being a single mom.”

“You don’t think the father would want to be in the picture?”

I sip my water, shrugging my shoulders as I think of Kaden. “Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me thinks he would want to be involved—with the baby,” I clarify. “He and I…it was just a onetime thing. So, I would be raising this baby alone, even if he was in the picture.”

“I won’t say that raising a child alone isn’t hard because it’s the hardest job out there.

But it’s rewarding as hell too. And if you decided to have this baby, you wouldn’t be alone—not really.

You’ve got too many people who love you.

Three overbearing brothers and two sisters-in-law who adore you.

We’d be there for you every step of the way.

So, don’t let the thought of being alone in this overwhelm you too much.

All you need to do is decide if having a child is something you want at this point in your life. ”