Page 18 of Risk (Gods #3)

I t’s been five days since I had lunch with Cam. I’ve thought about my options, up, down, left, and right.

And I just know I can’t have an abortion. I know abortions are right for the women who do have them. I know a termination is not a decision any woman or girl makes lightly. But I also know me, and after a hell of a lot of consideration, I know I’d regret it if I terminated this pregnancy.

And when I went to the grocery store to buy a carton of milk and some cereal and found myself wandering into the baby section, I stood there, staring at a tiny little onesie, and I knew what I was going to do.

I’m keeping this baby.

Holy fuck.

Deep down, I think a part of me knew all along.

I’m terrified and excited, and I have a lot to sort out and plan.

I have to figure out how to have a baby and continue earning my PhD.

Also, my living arrangements aren’t ideal.

I’m currently living in grad-school housing, which is a studio apartment and barely fits me, let alone me and a baby.

But before I can tackle any of those issues, I have to tell Kaden.

I’m still suffering with morning sickness, and the thought of telling him makes me feel even sicker.

But I told myself that once I made my decision, I would tell him I was pregnant, and now is the time.

Which is why when I get up this morning to get ready to go to class, I decide I’ll go to Kaden’s apartment right after I’m done with classes and tell him that I am pregnant and keeping the baby.

That there is absolutely no pressure from me.

If he decides that he doesn’t want to be involved, then I will totally respect his decision.

Only problem is, I have no clue where he lives. I’ve never had a reason to go to his apartment.

Whenever I see him, it’s usually at Zeus’s house, when we all get together for dinner—or, you know, at Ares and Ari’s wedding, where I got knocked up.

I have a few choices as to who I can call to ask for his address.

I could call Kaden, but he would know something was up the minute I asked, especially after the way I ended our last encounter, and this is not a conversation I want to have with him over the telephone. I want to talk to him face-to-face.

When I’m leaving my last class of the day, exiting the psychology building, I call Lo.

As expected, he has no clue where Kaden lives.

But he’s elated when I tell him that I’ve decided to keep the baby.

He’s already a great uncle to Gigi and Thea, so I know my kid is going to get spoiled rotten by him.

So, that leaves Zeus or Cam. Ares might know his address too. But honestly, calling either of my brothers for Kaden’s home address is going to raise questions. I could make up some bullshit excuse as to why I needed it, but I honestly haven’t got the brain power right now to come up with anything.

Cam it is.

“Hey,” she answers on the second ring, sounding happy to hear from me.

We’ve texted back and forth this week, but this is the first time I’ve actually spoken to her since we had lunch.

“Hey. I need to ask for a small favor.” My throat is dry because I know my sister-in-law is astute, and the instant I ask for Kaden’s address, she’s going to connect those dots faster than the speed of light.

“Of course. Hit me with it.”

“I, um…” I shift on my feet. “Well…I, uh, need…Kaden’s address.”

Silence.

I moisten my lips and add, mostly to fill the quiet, “And I was hoping you would give me it.”

“You need Kaden’s address?” she reiterates, her words slow, measured.

I can hear it in her voice—she’s put it together. She knows he’s the father of my baby.

I press my lips together before answering, “Yes.”

“Missy…”

“Please. I just…” My voice wavers, and I squeeze my eyes shut. “I just need his address.”

There’s another brief pause.

“Okay. It’s in my address book. Stay on the line. I’ll text it to you now.”

Exhaling out a breath, I open my eyes and lean back against the wall of the building, waiting.

I hear her rummaging around and then silence for a few minutes.

I feel my phone vibrate in my hand, and then Cam’s voice says, “I just sent it.”

“Thanks.”

“Missy…” I hear her take a deep breath and exhale it. “It’s gonna be okay. Whatever you’ve decided, it’s going to be okay, and I’m here for you.”

My eyes start to water again. Briefly shutting them and inhaling through my nose, I fight the moisture away. “I know. I’ll call you later. Okay?”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hang up and open the text Cam just sent me. He only lives a few blocks from here.

I set off walking in the direction of his building, and I start feeling sick again, so I get a cracker out of my bag and nibble on it. I’ve gotten to keeping crackers and peppermints in my bag to help with the nausea.

It doesn’t take me long to get to Kaden’s street. I check the building number on my phone and walk until I find it.

It’s a fancy looking place. Reminds me of the apartment building where Ares lives.

I walk up the steps, and the doorman opens the door for me.

I thank him and then step inside to the fancy lobby. I go over to the guy sitting at the security desk.

“Hi. Can I help you?”

“I’m here to see Kaden Scott.”

“Is he expecting you?”

Biting my lip, I shake my head.

“I can call up. Who can I say is here to see him?”

“Missy Kincaid.”

I wait while he picks up the desk phone and calls Kaden’s apartment.

It rings for a while. I twist my hands in front of me. The security guy smiles at me.

He eventually places the receiver down. “There’s no answer at his apartment. Would you like to leave a message for him?”

I really don’t want to leave a message for him to come see me at my apartment because I’ll drive myself nuts there, waiting, and if he doesn’t show, then I’ll be annoyed. I know if I don’t leave a message and just go home, I might chicken out and never come back.

“Um…” I glance around and see some comfy-looking seats in the corner by the window. “Would it be okay if I waited for him to come back?”

He gives me another cordial smile. “Of course. Would you like anything while you wait? Water? Coffee?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

I go over and take a seat, get my cell and a cracker from my bag. I look up pregnancy books on Amazon and nervously nibble on my cracker while I wait for Kaden to show up.