Page 21 of Risk (Gods #3)

“Oh.” Well, that makes me feel even shittier. “Lo knows. I called him when I did the first test.”

“The first?”

“I took three tests all together. To be sure, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“And Lo knew this girl who thought she was pregnant and had a positive test, but she actually wasn’t pregnant—it had been a false positive.”

“That’s actually a real thing?”

“Apparently so. So, yeah, Lo went to the store to get another test, but he bought two just to be doubly sure, I guess.”

“Triple sure,” Kaden says, and I stare at him. “Because of the first test you’d already done.”

“Oh. Yeah.” A weak laugh escapes me. “So, obviously, they were all positive because we wouldn’t be here, having this conversation, if they weren’t. Oh, and Cam knows. I needed to talk to someone who had been through a similar situation.”

“I’m glad you had Lo and Cam to help you. I just wish it had been me here for you—to help, you know—but I understand why I wasn’t.” He stares down at his hands in his lap, and I know he’s going to ask something uncomfortable. “Do they know I’m the father?”

“Yes.”

His eyes lift to mine.

“I told Lo, and Cam guessed when I called and asked her for your address. Neither of them will say anything to anyone else until I do. Or we do.”

“Definitely we,” he emphasizes. “I don’t want to be an asshole and pushy here, but I want to be there when you tell Zeus that you’re pregnant with my baby.

He’s my closest friend, and I owe it to him to tell him that I went there with you, being that you’re his sister.

I get that you need to be the one to tell him, but—”

“No, you’re right. You absolutely should be there.”

“Thanks.” He exhales the word. “Have you seen a doctor yet?” he asks.

“No.”

“Then, that’s the first thing we need to do. Get you checked out by a doctor.”

“I know, but I don’t know of any baby doctors.”

“Well, find one. The best.”

“I can’t afford the best.”

I’m a student, doing a PhD, and I wait tables at a diner.

Unfortunately, large amounts of money don’t randomly show up in my bank account.

Although, if it were up to my older brothers, that would be the case.

But they’ve done enough—paying for my bachelor’s degree and my master’s.

They wanted to pay for my PhD, but I told them I was going to take out student loans to pay for it.

I’d taken enough money from them already, and I want to be independent.

I only hope I can repay them back for everything one day.

“I can afford it.”

“Kaden, no, I don’t want—”

“This is my baby too,” he cuts me off. “I want you both to have the best care. So, no arguments on this.”

He stares into my eyes, and I ignore the flutter I feel in my stomach.

Probably just the baby. But can I even feel the baby move at this stage?

See, I know nothing about pregnancies and babies.

I can’t wait for that pregnancy book to arrive, which I ordered on Amazon while I was waiting in the lobby of his building, so I can start to learn about what’s happening with the little life growing inside my body.

“Okay?” he says to me.

“Okay.” I sigh.

We fall into silence, and usually, silences don’t bother me, but this one does.

“Do you want a drink?” I offer, getting up from the sofa. “I was going to make coffee.”

“Coffee’s good for me.”

“It’s decaf. I can’t drink caffeine because of the baby,” I tell him as I walk into the kitchen.

He gets up and follows me over to my tiny kitchen area. Standing on the other side of the counter, he leans his hip against it. “Decaf is good. I drink that mainly anyway because of the headaches.”

I reach and get cups from the cupboard. Put a decaf pod in my coffee machine that Lo bought me for my last birthday, set a cup under it, and get it going.

“You take milk? Sugar?” I ask him.

“Neither.”

“Well, I take both. The sugar currently in large quantities, so don’t judge me.”

I’ve found my tooth has been a bit sweeter recently. I’m putting it down to that awful black decaf Americano I tried to ingest from that coffee shop when I wasn’t sure what I could drink.

I’ve since learned—thank you, internet—that I can have milk as long as it’s pasteurized. It’s actually a good source of protein, calcium, and vitamins for the baby. The sugar, probably not so much, but I can’t be perfect.

“No judgment here.” He chuckles.

I grab the milk out of the fridge and then switch cups over when one is ready.

I hand it over to Kaden, our fingers touching in the exchange, and heat prickles up my skin.

It’s hard that he still has this effect on me. I need to get past it because this isn’t about me and him anymore. It’s about the life growing inside me.

I turn and lean my back against the counter while waiting for my coffee.

Kaden takes a sip of his, and I see his eyes keep flickering down to my stomach. He knows I’ve caught him doing it because he gives me an awkward smile.

“You freaking out?” I ask him.

“Not as much as I probably should be. But honestly, it just feels surreal.”

My brow lifts. “Surreal how?”

His eyes drop to my stomach again. “Because you have my child growing inside of you.”

My eyes flash up, catching his, and the intensity in his gaze has feelings igniting in my southern region that have no business igniting at all.

Tearing my gaze from his, I turn toward the coffee machine, grab the sugar container next to it, dump three spoons of sugar in the cup, and pour in the milk.

“You weren’t kidding about liking it sweet.” He chuckles from behind me.

“No.” I turn to him, staring at my coffee. “I have a sweet tooth, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse in the upcoming months.”

I dump the spoon in the sink, and he follows me back over to the sofa. I see him hesitate, as if wondering if he should sit back on the desk chair.

I make the decision for him, and I don’t sit in the middle this time. I take one side. After a beat, he takes the other, leaving a bit of space between us.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he says. “A lot of decisions to make.”

I take a sip of my coffee and then hold the cup against my chest. “Can we not now though?” I rest my head back against the sofa. I feel drained all of a sudden. I guess the events of the past few days and weeks are catching up to me.

“Of course. We’ll put a pin in it for now.”

“Thanks.” I close my eyes for a moment.

“Are you tired?” he asks.

“A little.”

“Here.” He takes the cup from my hands and puts it on the coffee table. Then, he grabs a cushion and sets it on his lap. “Lie down,” he tells me.

“On you?”

He arches a brow. “Yes, on me.”

Should I do this? Go to sleep with my head in his lap. I mean, is it weird? He’s not my boyfriend. Just the father of my baby. I guess things between us are a little different from a normal friendship, and it isn’t like he’s asking me to fuck him. Again.

“Okay.” I shift around and rest my head on the cushion he put there for me, bring my legs up, and lie down.

And now, I’m not feeling so tired, being this close to him.

Then, I feel his fingers start to sift through my hair, and it’s so damn relaxing that I almost purr.

“Missy…” His voice is quiet, almost a whisper. “I really am sorry about how I acted after we slept together and that night at Zeus’s birthday…”

I stiffen, not wanting to remember how I felt when I woke up in that room alone. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I acted like a jealous dick at Zeus’s party. And the night we slept together…fuck, I’ve felt like shit about it ever since and now even more so, knowing that was when our baby was conceived. I shouldn’t have left like I did.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But it’s done and in the past.” I don’t want to keep thinking about it because it just reminds me that he doesn’t want me.

That I’m having a baby with a man who doesn’t want me.

Worse so because, even after all this, I still have feelings for him.

Feeling my eyes getting watery again, I shut them and say, “Let’s just forget about it, yeah?

We’ve got more important things to think about now. ”

“Yeah”—he blows out a breath—“we do.”