Page 20 of Risk (Gods #3)

W ell, that went about as well as could have been expected. Actually, no, it was worse than I’d expected. Because in every scenario I had run through my head, not in one of them did Kaden say, Is it mine?

Like, is that a line that men are taught in high school to say when a woman tells them she’s pregnant?

While us girls are taught how not to get knocked up in sex education, are boys’ sex education classes showing them how to react if she does get knocked up, starting with the classic, Is it mine?

and, How did this happen? followed by, But I wore a condom , and I thought you were on the pill ?

Like, why the fuck would I go to tell him that I got pregnant with another man? Does he just think I’m doing the rounds to everyone I know, saying, Oh, hey, just came to tell you that I’m pregnant. Don’t worry; it’s not yours. Right, I’ll be off then ?

Fucking moron.

I mean, first off, does he think that I hook up with guys on the regular?

Even if he does, that’s beside the point.

Because does he actually think I’d have gone all the way to his apartment to tell him that I was pregnant if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that the baby growing inside of me was half his?

Fucking asshole!

Honestly, I’m just so mad at him right now. I just can’t believe him.

Is it mine?

No, it’s your fucking doorman’s! I just thought I’d come here and tell you I was pregnant for the hell of it!

Which is what I did say.

Ugh. For fuck’s sake.

It was just so damn insulting.

I am not a violent person at all, but looking back, I really wish I’d thrown the bottle of water at his head the moment those words left his mouth.

Said bottle of water is now in my refrigerator.

When I hurriedly left his place, luck was on my side because I managed to flag a passing cab and came straight home.

It would have only been a short walk to my place, but I was in no mood to walk home, and I didn’t realize the bottle was still gripped in my hand until I was getting out some money to pay the cab driver.

I didn’t want to look at his stupid bottle of water, but I couldn’t toss it in the trash because I couldn’t be wasteful. There are people in the world who don’t have easy access to water, so throwing it away was a big no-no. Hence why it’s in the fridge.

I’ve just been sitting here, fuming for God knows how long, replaying the conversation over and over in my head, and the more I think about what he said, the angrier I get.

And he might be hot and incredibly good in bed—well, great, in fact—but he’s a total jerk.

Not the guy I thought he was at all. In all the years I’ve known him, I never thought he’d be such an ass like that.

Guess I never knew him at all. Or maybe I just painted him in pretty colors because I was crushing hard on him.

When the door buzzer goes off, my head swivels in its direction, and I stare at it accusingly.

I’m not expecting anyone.

But I have a strong feeling that it’s going to be Kaden down there, pressing the buzzer for my door.

I want to ignore him because I’m pissed off at him.

Then again, it actually might not be him.

The buzzer goes off again.

Sighing, I get up and walk over and press the call button. “What?” I hope it is him; otherwise, I just snapped at some other poor soul.

“Missy. It’s Kaden.”

He didn’t call me Beautiful. I don’t know why, but that just pisses me off even more. He should be here, groveling.

“Why are you here?”

“I want to talk.”

“Uh, we already did that, and it didn’t go so well.”

“I know, I know. I handled it badly. Really fucking badly—”

“Ha! No fucking kidding. A chimpanzee would have handled it better.”

“I want to do better this time,” he continues like I didn’t just throw him some snark.

“It just threw me off-balance. Of all the things I expected you to say, it wasn’t that.

And I…” He sighs, and I can just imagine him pushing his fingers through his hair, like he does when he’s thinking.

“I knee-jerk reacted, and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry.

Can you give me another chance to get it right? Please.”

I stare at the wall like it holds all the answers.

I know I have to give him another chance, and I know we need to talk properly.

Whether either of us likes it or not, we’re about to be connected for the rest of our lives—well, if he wants to be involved, that is, and I’m guessing by the fact that he’s turned up here, he probably does want to be involved in our baby’s life.

But all of that aside, he acted like a jackass, so I’m allowed to drag this out. Punish him a bit.

So, I stay silent.

“Please, Missy,” he says, and the words are like a hit to the heart.

I let out a sigh. Then, I press the buzzer, letting him up.

I could have my apartment door open and ready for him to come in, but because I’m feeling hurt, I’m acting childish, and, yes, I should know better, but I don’t care right now. I make him knock on the door, and then I take my sweet time going to open it.

When I open the door, I noticed that his hair is all messed up. I was right when I thought he was dragging his hand through it. Stepping aside, I let him in.

Kaden gives me a wary glance as he passes by me, walking into my apartment.

He should be wary; I’m a pregnant woman with hormones that rebound like a rubber ball, and I’m still annoyed.

Not as mad as I was before he got here. Him showing up has lessened the anger a touch, but he hasn’t opened his mouth yet, so it’s still early.

The size of him makes my room feel so much smaller.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I go and sit down on my sofa, right in the middle, leaving no room for him to sit on there. I don’t want him close to me at all right now.

He grabs the chair from my desk, turns it toward me, and lowers his big body into it. His gaze is still wary, and his body language reeks of nerves.

In all the years we’ve known each other, Kaden has never seen me angry.

It’s not often that I do get mad. I know that life is too short to spend it being mad, but this moment in time definitely warrants my annoyance.

And honestly, I’m mad that I’m mad. I know that sounds bananas, but it’s how I feel.

This is a scary but happy time for me. Now that I’ve made my decision, I’m happy about having this baby.

And I know he’s not there yet—he might never be.

He literally just found out about the pregnancy, whereas I’ve had a while to come to terms with it…

Shit. I’m being too hard on him. Yes, he shouldn’t have said what he said, with the whole is it mine , but if I had been in his shoes, maybe the shock of it would have had me saying stupid crap too.

He exhales a breath, bringing my eyes to him. He leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, rubbing his hands together anxiously.

“Kaden…” I start, but he jumps in.

“I handled that badly. I shouldn’t have asked if the baby was mine because I know you wouldn’t have been there, telling me, if you weren’t a hundred percent sure.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that. It hurt me when you said it, but I guess I do understand that you were in shock.”

“Yeah.” He pushes his fingers through his hair, exhaling another breath. “I just…we used protection.”

“Apparently, it doesn’t work all the time.”

“I guess we were in the small percentage it fucks up for, huh?”

“I guess so.”

I see his throat bob on a swallow.

“You said you’re keeping the baby?” His words are so careful, measured, like he’s afraid to mess up again.

“Yes. And I want you to know that if you don’t want to be involved, I’ll totally understand. It’s my—”

“Let me stop you right there. There is no way in hell that I don’t want to be involved with my child.

I want to be so fucking involved that it’ll probably annoy the shit out of you.

I’ll be there for everything. I’m in this with you, Beautiful.

This pregnancy might not have been planned, but I want this baby.

Once I got over my initial shock, the only thing I felt was fucking happy, knowing that you’re pregnant and you want to keep it.

We’re doing this together. We’re having this baby together. ”

The relief I feel at his words is immeasurable. I knew I was worried that he wouldn’t want to be involved, but I didn’t realize the actual level of vulnerability I was feeling until this moment.

My eyes fill up, and this time, I can’t stop them.

Fucking stupid hormones.

“Fuck, Beautiful.” He’s off the chair and sliding into the space beside me, taking me into his arms. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffle into his shoulder. “It’s the damn hormones. I can’t seem to control my emotions, and I’ve just been so scared and stressed since I found out that I was pregnant. I was worried you wouldn’t want the baby, and you do.”

He moves me back and takes my face in his hands. “You’ll never need to worry again. I’m here, Beautiful. I got you. I got the three of us.”

That only makes more tears run from my eyes. Kaden catches them and brushes them away with his thumbs.

Then, he leans in and presses his lips to my forehead before pulling me back into his arms.

He stays quiet, allowing me to get myself together. When I do, I shift back and dry my face with my hands.

“Sorry I got your shirt wet,” I murmur.

He glances down at the wet patch near his shoulder and shrugs. “A few tears are nothing. I’m sure I’m going to have worse things on me once the baby arrives.”

He smiles, and I manage a little laugh.

“Have you told anyone else that you’re pregnant?” he asks.

“You mean Zeus?” I snap, which I didn’t mean to do, and he immediately looks contrite.

He eyes me carefully. “Not specifically Zeus.”

“Sorry.” I shake my head. “I didn’t mean to snap then. Just…why are you asking?”

“Because I’m wondering if I’m the first to know about the existence of my child or not.”