Page 70 of Resurrection
Seiran’s mind swirled with too much thought. The Earth wanted everything gone so She could restart. Humanity was a blight, an error She wouldn’t make again. Destroying it was necessary, even if that meant in the end Her own scion would be forever lost. She pictured a world without people like some utopia of endless grasslands, stretching deserts, global forests, and sparkling blue oceans. And all that might have been reality, if he was willing to let Her have control. He was drowning in the tide of Her desire to destroy it all. Not his rage, though he had plenty to spare.
Did he really want to lay down and die? Give up all of humanity just for rest? He sighed, the weight of it all too heavy for one man. He’d never asked for any of it. Seiran wasn’t some superhero despite the insane amount of power he could wield. He was meant to be a guardian, a voice of reason for the Goddess, brought to humanity. Most days he felt like a villain, helplessly shoved into a role that everyone hated him for. Was there a way out other than death?
Page lay on his side in the grass, crying an ugly sobbing sound of desperation. He was unhurt, and unbound, he could easily grab the gun. End himself, or try again with Seiran, but that wasn’t his nature. Seiran had chosen Page because of the young witch’s gentle heart and passion for learning. He would have recognized if his servant was touched by threads of darkness that took over minds with corrupted magic.
“Page isn’t a bad person,” Seiran felt himself whisper. It sounded distant, like there was too much noise in his head.
“No,” Gabe agreed. “Your kids aren’t either. You? Kelly, Jamie? Con, Luca? Even Sam. Do they all deserve the end of the world? Do you feel the chaos in your mind? The edge we dangle on? Can you feel it like I can? And our bond isn’t even renewed.”
The Goddess didn’t care about Seiran’s family. Or him. Not really. She was in pain, and he understood that. But Seiran would never hurt his kids. Never let anything separate them. He’d survived countless traumas which stained him to this day. He’d fought to keep those horrors from touching his kids. Was that all moot?
The world was flawed, sure. Humanity was a blight, but who was he to end it for them all? And why should he have to give up everything again? Rip everything from his children? Including their chance to save the world, or hide from it. Whatever their choice, he’d stand by them.
He’d given up the man he loved. He’d given up his choice of careers. He’d given up freedom to tie himself to the witches who hated him, protecting the twins. He’d bound himself to the fae forever to keep them from waging war on humanity. He’d even made promises to the vampires, and bound himself to one who had left him alone for far too long. All for what? To end here because the Goddess was angry?
Everyone demanded, no one gave back. And Seiran was done with all of it. Being a pawn. Being left alone and discounted. He was tired of hiding who and what he was, just to make people comfortable.
He’d always hated and admired Sam for being exactly who he wanted to be. Sam took no one’s shit. Stalked the night and even beat people up to blow off steam. People treated him with wariness. Not simply because he was a vampire. But because he wasSam. Maybe for once in his life, Seiran needed to be more like Sam and care less about what everyone else thought.
Seiran could end the world. One and done. Mass destruction ushering them into a new age of dystopia if anyone survived at all. Everyone treated him like he was putting on some show, spinning the media to seem more powerful. When he was the ultimate end of all things.
Why didn’t he let Her rage? Why had he allowed them to continue to disdain him, slowly letting Her die, so they could live? His death meant nothing to them. But his death meant nothing to Her either. Hadn’t he thought for years he’d been ready to die? At the cost of the entire world? His kids? His friends?
No. He wasn’t ready to leave this world. And while he was a conduit, he also had free will. Another flaw in the design of mortality. But Seiran would take what strength he could.
He sucked in a hard breath, his lungs aching with heat as though the rage were a temperature instead of an emotion. Gabe stood in front of him, his clothing smoldering, skin pink, standing in a well of power so great that if it kept going, it would burn them both up. Seiran’s gaze met Gabe’s, and he couldn’t voice the words, a plea for help to roll back the oncoming tsunami. There was so much, and Seiran felt like he either let it happen, or let himself burn up in Her rage. He could stand in the doorway, but didn’t know if he could close it anymore.
Without him a new pillar would be chosen, if humanity survived at all. Jamie, maybe? Could he survive this onslaught hidden behind the wards? Maybe he could soothe Her rage better than Seiran had? Jamie had always been good at talking people down, part medical training, part who he was. What if it went to one of his kids? They weren’t ready. Seiran knew they weren’t. She’d rip control from them immediately. He’d been battling Her song since the moment he took the role as pillar. A siren’s song that never relented, leading to the same death and destruction as in stories of old. And he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
He stared at Gabe, begging for help and unable to move for fear that he lose his grip on the last shred of his sanity. But he also feared the fire burning them up, and knew in the back of his mind that vampires were highly flammable. Would it kill Gabe to be near him? Would Seiran survive Gabe’s true death? Even after more than a decade of separation, he couldn’t help but realize how much he loved Gabe. Missed him with every breath, even while fearing what they’d had was all a lie.
“It wasn’t,” Gabe promised, hugging Seiran tightly in his arms. “Let me show you. Let me help.”
Gabe wrapped around him, like a cool wind rising to ease the heat. His lips brushed Seiran’s, fingers curling into Seiran’s hair. And this too was familiar. Filled with memories of their days years ago, and how Gabe would hold him. Beneath that was an icy touch of something dark, and almost welcoming. The fingers of the grave, Seiran realized.
“I am Death,” Gabe whispered, as he kissed softly over Seiran’s cheeks and lips, decorating Seiran’s face in delicate touches to cool the fire.
“I’m death of the world,” Seiran said, feeling it in the core of him. It was more of what She wanted, than what he wanted. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to keep Her from taking control.
“But you don’t have to be. You were meant to be life.”
Seiran laughed a little, the sound painful and bloody, hurting as he felt like his lung was coming apart on the inside. It probably was, half drowning in his own blood, and Seiran’s right side felt numb. He didn’t feel like life.
He couldn’t raise his arm to touch Gabe’s face like he wanted to. The pain intensified. The dome would fall if he died again, as temporary as She allowed his deaths to be. It also meant they’d take Page. Probably kill him before Seiran could return from the place between worlds.
“Help me,” Seiran begged, not certain what he was asking for. Gabe couldn’t shove back the tide of death any more than Seiran could.
“We must renew the bond,” Gabe said, his arms like a vise around Seiran, the only thing keeping Seiran on his feet. The power and pain, a matching tide of darkness rising to take Seiran. He wasn’t sure there would be a world at all to return to if he died this time.
“Yes,” Seiran agreed. He’d give Gabe the power if he could, even if it meant Seiran ended up alone again. As long as his kids were safe, and the world still whole. He had something to come back to, even if it meant forever walking away from the Dominion, and witches in general. He was done being a cog in that wheel.
Gabe kissed him again, lips on his cool and sweet, like a drink of water after too long in the desert. Seiran sank into the touch, closing his eyes. Gabe kissed a line down Seiran’s neck to place a gentle kiss over the pulsing vein there.
“I hate that you’re already losing blood,” Gabe muttered, lips against Seiran’s skin like a caress.
“When I die, you’ll have to take Page to safety. The barrier will fall.” The top edges in the center were already withering. Seiran either had to release his control of Her power to try to save himself, or let all of it fade as he was dragged back to the world between. The mortal body was so fragile.
“You’re not going to die,” Gabe promised. His fangs pierced Seiran’s throat. A sharp spike of pain for a hot second before it shifted to power, while Gabe drank deeply.