Page 54 of Resurrection

There had been an explosion. Gabe had only the barest memories of it. He’d been in the ground. Seiran brought him back? Gabe wasn’t sure that was possible, even for a witch of Seiran’s power. He suspected that the more pieces that fell back into place, the more he would hurt. Physically and emotionally.

Abandoned. That was a pretty bad thing. But it sounded like more than that. If the revenant had been in control, it could have been really bad. The possibilities ran from full out slaughter of everyone and everything, to rage filled rambling. Somehow Gabe didn’t think it was only the latter.

Seiran’s phone buzzed again. Gabe made his way back to dig it out of Seiran’s clothes, finding the screen locked but a notification of a lot of missed messages. Should he wake Seiran? Since the family had left for the day and all of them seemed all right, he wondered what was so important, but didn’t know how to unlock the phone.

Passcode. Seiran’s birthday maybe? He tried to recall that, but couldn’t. He got a dozen other memories, small bits about food, medication, and a cat.

Not a housecat. A lynx. Seiran?

Powerful witches could change shape, though it was rare. Gabe seemed to also vaguely recall that it was illegal. Could anything really be illegal for the scion of earth, which was essentially what a pillar was.

Gabe’s gaze landed on the sleeping man, the light from the bathroom not illuminating much, but enough to study him as he slept. Beautiful, much as Gabe had thought the second he’d laid eyes on him. Both in the past at some late-night party, and recently when he’d been reawakened.

The unfinished youth was gone from his features, which pleased Gabe. As if given the chance, he’d have waited until Seiran was older before approaching him. That middle stage of life more appealing, the man, rather than the child, his goal.

What if he had waited? Would those years have been less fraught with trouble and pain? Would he have found someone else? Gabe sucked in a difficult breath at that thought. Someone else having Seiran, loving him.

Seiran had over a decade to find someone else, but hadn’t. Lack of interest? Gabe had thought love a fleeting thing. Another human emotion that rose and retreated like the tide. He also recalled going to that party looking for a meal, but not really caring. He’d been on the edge of the abyss even then. Needing to go to ground, but fearing that when he did, he would not return. It was the way of old vampires. Eventually, unless something big distracted from the monotony of existence, they all went under to never return.

Why hadn’t he? He recalled a vast number of his get. Some very powerful and old. His sire bonds would have fallen to them. Though he feared they might have been too great a burden. It shouldn’t have prevented him from doing what needed to be done, which had been letting himself either pass or renew. The revenant would be fighting less if he’d had a full renewal. But it didn’t feel as wild as the vague bits he could remember intermingled with his past with Seiran.

Gabe left the bathroom light on, and crawled back into bed, wrapping himself around Seiran. He set the phone on the nightstand and spent a bit of time watching Seiran breathe. It was familiar, but different than what he remembered. His short hair, paler than he recalled, though full and light, with the barest hint of curl. Seiran’s skin tanner than the almost alabaster Gabe remembered it had been, as though now he got a lot of sun. His body lean, not soft, but not some sort of bodybuilder like his brother obviously still was.

Half-brother. Right. Gabe recalled they shared a father, but not a mother. And a thought leading to Seiran’s mother gave him horrific memories. Was that terrible woman still involved in their lives? She’d coerced Seiran into having children, even if it had to be an arrangement. Legacies and names to be continued. Gabe recalled a debate with her. The threat to lock Seiran away forever using all the power of the Dominion. Torture for an earth witch, separated from the earth, unable to use his power. Gabe had been part of the coercion. He wondered if he’d been in a clearer mind if he would have just stolen Seiran away, hidden him somewhere until the witches got bored searching for him. Or brought fire and brimstone to the table and showed them his true power?

He sighed. Some big strong vampire he had been. Afraid of some witches.

Seiran’s phone buzzed again, and Seiran stirred in his arms.

Gabe tensed.

Seiran stretched, but didn’t seem alarmed by Gabe wrapped around him. “I should get up. See kids off to school,” he grumbled.

“They already left,” Gabe said quietly. “Kelly and Jamie took them to school.”

Seiran laid there a bit longer, eyes half lidded, looking tired. Finally, he said, “This doesn’t feel real.”

“What doesn’t? You and me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you hate me?” Gabe asked.

“That would be cruel since you confessed love a few hours ago,” Seiran said.

But that wasn’t an answer either. “The emotion is there, but memories still shattered,” Gabe admitted.

“You love me, but don’t know why?” Seiran sighed. “Super. And awkward.”

“I’m sorry,” Gabe said. He ran his fingers along Seiran’s arm, bared and free of the blanket, tracing the feeling of his skin. Familiar and not.

Seiran shivered, but didn’t pull away.

“You can tell me to stop,” Gabe said. “I’m just… trying to remember.”

“I’m not the same.”

“No.” Gabe actually found himself fascinated at how the touch stirred memories, and still felt like a discovery. “Can what I did, in the past, be forgiven?” He finally asked hating the idea of dancing around the issue. “I don’t remember a lot. But am not willing to use it as an excuse.”