Page 39 of Resurrection

Seiran let out a long breath as he tried to sort through what to say. “Yes, but not in the same way. You hurt me by leaving. By not telling me you were struggling. By waiting too long to face what was happening to you, that you did some very not okay things, but none of them directly to me.” He let that sit for a minute, then added, “Me, you mostly abandoned.” Though Seiran knew it hadn’t been Gabe’s choice. He’d spent years going over in his mind what had happened and how things might have changed.

They were silent a bit longer, before Gabe finally said, “I think I was pulled this time too.”

That comment hit Seiran like a fist in the gut. Who? And how? Did that mean Gabe would have to leave again? He tried to breathe and suddenly found his airway tightening. It had been years, almost a decade since his last panic attack, and this was not the place. He tamped down hard, told himself that he wasn’t dying, even if he couldn’t breathe. The earth wasn’t ready to take him. But his vision narrowed, darkness closing in on the sides. It would be really embarrassing to pass out on the edges of a crime scene.

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him into a fierce embrace. He knew from the scent that it was Gabe, but couldn’t regain enough control of higher function to respond.

“I’m going to try to soothe some of this panic. Don’t punch me, okay?” Gabe whispered in his ear. The wall between them was open, as open as it could be from years of disuse and distance, but the waves of darkness began to recede, and suddenly Seiran caught a breath, sucking in gasping lungfuls of air with Gabe pressed against him, his face in the crook of Seiran’s neck. “That’s right, breathe.”

Would he leave again? Why did that tear Seiran up? He’d only been back a day or so. Gabe didn’t even remember him. It shouldn’t hurt like this.

“I was down a long time,” Gabe said quietly.

“But maybe not long enough,” Seiran said, his heart still pounding.

“We’ll deal with that as it comes. Now, do you need to be here?”

“I’m the Director of Magic Investigations.”

“Which I take to mean you’re more a manager than an active investigator. Am I wrong?” He wasn’t wrong. Seiran had taken the role so he could be home more with his kids. “Your people seem competent. And if they aren’t, Max has things in hand.”

“What if there are more?”

“Bodies? Your power already crawled through the grounds of this property and found nothing else, right? I felt that.”

Were they supposed to be linked like this? Sense each other’s powers, maybe even borrowing them? They hadn’t gone that deep before, but maybe that had been because Seiran hadn’t been willing to be that open, or Gabe had been hiding as well. Would he remember any of their time together? Or would that all be lost in the blackness of the revenant he’d become?

Seiran’s phone rang, silencing his thoughts, because it was Kaine’s ringtone. He pulled out his cell but didn’t free himself from Gabe’s arms. He hoped no one judged him for accepting an embrace while standing on the brink of all this horror.

“Hey peanut, whatcha need?” Seiran answered the phone.

“Will you be home soon?” Kaine asked, his voice soft and careful.

“Do you need me to be?” It was a stupid question because he wouldn’t have called otherwise. “I just have to let my people know I’m leaving. They have all this in hand.”

“Okay,” Kaine’s voice was still small. Seiran sometimes forgot that Kaine was very young. Maybe not in fae terms, but in human terms he still had a lot of growing to do. The fae didn’t automatically know all the secrets of the universe either. And Kaine was only half fae, the other half mortal, whether that be human or witch, didn’t seem to matter more than that he needed to be held sometimes. Seiran was pretty sure they all forgot that from time to time when Kaine seemed so grown up.

“I’ll be home in less than an hour. Is that okay? Is Jamie home? Can you snuggle with him for a bit?”

“He’s here. We’re all gonna watch a movie.” Even though it was late and a school night. Jamie must have understood that something was happening, even if Kaine wouldn’t share it with him.

“Okay, I’ll be home soon. I love you.” Seiran said. When he’d been younger those words were hard to say. Expressing emotion meant being vulnerable and letting that person know they had power. But he adored his kids and tried to tell them often that they were loved, and were everything to him. He never wanted them to feel unwanted or a burden, like he had growing up.

“I love you too,” Kaine said, sounding a little lighter. Seiran hung up, worry still lingering in his gut. Not just for the case, but now for his kid.

Gabe slowly let him go, and it was a little sad to feel the warmth and weight of him vanish. “Let’s talk to those in charge, so you can go see your kid. Sounds like he needs you.”

Vampire hearing was profound even on the worst day. But Gabe was right. Seiran was wasted in this space. Everything had to be documented and cataloged, evidence filed. His job was to delegate, review, and step in when necessary, but there was really nothing for him to do right this minute as his people had it all in hand. Everything from identifying bodies, to recording comments about the magic energy left on the remains, his people, the police, and the vampires, all seemed to be working in tandem to get it done. More Max and Emmaline’s direction than his.

Gabe turned them toward the field and found a handful of vampires with their backs to them, as though acting as a barrier between them and the field. None of them looked their way, but quickly dispersed as they approached. A guard perhaps. Since Sam was nearby, he thought maybe Sam had sent them to ensure Seiran and Gabe had a bit of privacy. Sometimes he could be human that way, when he wasn’t working himself into a frenzy trying to be an asshole.

Seiran found his way to Max and Sam, as his own investigators had finished with the golem and Forest was sitting at Max’s feet, silent, and completely immobile. Seiran wondered if he could release those two until they found the third. The bonds were complicated, interwoven, knotted. He could sever them all, but not one at a time. He felt bad about keeping them here at all, but they were still missing one body. Did that mean there was another killing field somewhere?

“Can your magic release them one at a time?” Seiran whispered to Gabe. He knew the other vampires would hear, but he didn’t need everyone in his business. “I don’t want to release the last one until we find his body.”

“It should be possible,” Max interrupted. “If you’ll allow me to take the golem with me this evening?”

“Can you control it?” Seiran asked.