Page 16 of Resurrection

Sei felt stuck in place, chest tight, anxiety rising, all signs of a panic attack which he hadn’t had in ages. He concentrated on counting his breathing, taking deep steadying breaths, in and out. He didn’t close his eyes or try to shut down, as that would mean a full-scale panic attack, and embarrassment later. He would hate to show that sort of weakness in front of the vampires. Though it was a near thing.

Gabe didn’t look the same. Sei could understand what Sam meant about that now. He was a bit thinner, though still wide through the shoulders. His blond hair longer than Sei ever recalled it being, falling around his ears in long curls, but not quite long enough to reach his shoulders. It was also a bit darker, more a dirty blond than the pale wash Sei’s memory clung to. And in Sei’s entire time of knowing him, he had never known Gabe to have a beard, but now he had a well-trimmed box beard. With his eyes closed, and blond lashes falling over his cheeks, he looked angelic, harmless, even if Sei knew otherwise.

Not the man he knew, Sei tried to remind himself, even as his body reacted, drawn forward with a need to touch. The jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt weren’t normal wear either, as Gabe had always preferred a more business style of attire unless he was at the bar. Polish, that had been the Gabriel Santini that Seiran had known. This was something else, vulnerable? Or just pretending.

“Gavriil,” Max called, “your Focus has come for you.”

Gabe opened his eyes, blinking and taking a deep breath as though he had been napping. He glanced around the room, seeming to size up everyone for a moment before his gaze fell on Sei. The green, vivid and clear, more so than Seiran could recall it having been even on that final day.

“Seiran,” Gabe whispered, “I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean… I would never hurt you…” But he had. A thousand times over. Gabe bowed his head. He swallowed hard, put his hands back to the earth, then stared at Seiran when he said, “To the earth I commit myself.”

The memories, bittersweet, cut like a knife because there was no recognition in his eyes.

Chapter 6

The meditation helped. With his stomach full, the warmth awakening all those long immobile nerves, Gabe could relax and sort out his brain. Max had to finish up some business stuff which had been more noise than Gabe could handle as he’d been processing. He’d been given the closed off room for space.

The memories of Titus, well Max now, were the easiest to sort through. The affection and heartbreak all rising as though he were feeling them for the first time again. They did fade as he worked through the memories. For a while there had been an almost impossible to resist urge to interrupt Max and demand attention. Instead, Gabe tried to find more recent memories. Those were more broken, shattered like glass into fragments so small he knew it would take time to put any of it together.

His sire’s image brought up a lot of jagged pieces. From her death to a man who’d tried to kill him… Roman. Right. Even those memories were scattered. He wondered if it would have been easier if he’d written things down beforehand. A journal or memoir of sorts. Max had given him a cell phone. Gabe sort of remembered them, small handheld computer devices. A world of knowledge in his hands, powerful.

Maybe he could record videos to himself for whenever this happened again down the line. Max had assured Gabe that going to ground was a normal part of being a vampire, indicating he did it himself for a week, once a year.

“Think of it as a vacation,” Max had stated. “Schedule it, and maintain your power and sanity.”

That sounded like a good idea. Obviously, Gabe had not been doing that before since he had been down a decade and a half, or thereabout. He’d wanted to start reading up on all he missed and search out the information on the witch who was his Focus, but Max suggested the quiet. Let the pieces fall into place instead of jamming all the memories at once. Too much would turn him revenant, Max said.

Revenant.

That brought back vague memories. A club, lots of bodies filled with blood, some dying. The taste on his tongue bitter, almost foul. Even the shifters had tasted better than the dying groupies at some club. It felt strange that he’d have done that. Though he knew he had plenty of moments in his life where he fed from whatever he could. Maybe that had been the reason?

A face flashed through his memory again, too fast to make out much more than long dark hair and blue eyes. The more Gabe tried to reach for that particular thought, the faster it vanished, and his head began to hurt. He stopped chasing them after a while, instead following easier trails like of Sam, the vampire with an attitude who had apparently been working for Roman, but now belonged to Max? He would have to ask.

When the door opened and Max called him, Gabe had been half asleep, dozing on the edge of drifting memories, letting them go where they would.

“Gavriil,” Max called, “your Focus has come for you.”

The name was wrong. He wasn’t Gavriil anymore, but he opened his eyes hoping the Focus, witch, or whatever would bring back more memories. He expected to be walloped with them, only there was nothing.

He was younger than Gabe had expected, appearing mid-twenties at most. Had his aging slowed? Was that the Focus bond? Or the fact that he was a witch? Gabe wasn’t sure it would be okay to ask. He’d always found silence the safest bet when he wasn’t certain of a response.

The man, his Focus, was beautiful, pretty as only Asian men really seemed to be. His facial bone structure delicate, with high cheekbones, and slanted eyes. Slim and lean, more like a runner, he wasn’t overly tall, but balanced. Hair a bit of a mess of pale brown hanging near his shoulders, and pushed back out of his face. The eyes were the one thing that seemed to stir some sort of memory in him. That sapphire blue gaze sad, watery, even filled with pain. Gabe had an inclination to comfort him, like it was something he’d done often, but he remained rooted to the chair.

The man sucked in a deep breath and turned away, focusing on Max. “Is he sane?”

“As sane as possible for any vampire,” Max replied.

Sam stepped up behind the man and put a hand on his shoulder. “I can stay with you if you need. The guys won’t mind.”

There was a third man standing behind them, still as a tree, not even breathing. Curious. Gabe stared at it; the lines of magic wrapped around it looking like lasers of rainbow colors. Not a man. Some sort of creature? Magic? Had the witch created it? A person out of organic material?

It had an unusual overlay, that appeared almost tangible. Gabe stared at it, trying to sort through what it meant. In reality, part of it mirrored the makeup of a vampire. Though vampires seemed to have one very solid tie to organic matter, which Gabe could see in specific lines of power. One of them actually seemed to be linked to the man who was Gabe’s Focus.

What had Max said his name was? Say-ron. Seiran Rou. Sam called him Ronnie. A tease that made Gabe think maybe the witch wasn’t as strict and irritated as his expression made him out to be.

Gabe blinked and stood up, feeling a bit wobbly. He’d have to learn to not be still too long as it slowed blood flow. A tug of memory in his head said it was something he was familiar with in the past. He hoped the sluggishness wore off soon.

The man didn’t move, or speak directly to Gabe. How was he to react? Greet the man? Introduce himself? Pretend he knew him? Gabe looked to Max for guidance, but found himself ignored.