Page 205 of Remorseless

“On your behalf, Outlaw’s, or the kids’?”

“All of the above.” Meggie shifted. “But mostly me,” she said quietly, feeling so very selfish. She forced a smile. “It is what it is, right?” Unable to meet Roxy’s eye, she got to her feet. “I’m going to check on Mattie and Rebel, then head over to the hospital to spend time with Jo.”

“Think about pushing your hysterectomy back to next year. Talk to Outlaw and tell him why. Once you lay out the facts, he will help you to remember your pills.”

“I was going to get an implant. I also considered another IUD, but I had such bad experiences with them. Both the copper one and the hormonal option. The shots were okay, although that was the one method Christopher couldn’t keep track of either.”

“You can set alerts on your phone.”

“Should I tell her to cancel the prescription and get the shot?”

Standing, Roxy walked to her, leaned down, and hugged her. “Not right now. Set alerts on your phone and tell Outlaw to do the same. It’ll work out, sugar, in whatever way it’s meant to be.”

Twenty minutes later, Roxy dropped Meggie off at the hospital, since they were in only one vehicle.

“Are you sure you don’t want company, Momma?” Rebel asked once Meggie slid out of the car.

“No, love.”

“We won’t be long, Aunt Meggie,” Mattie swore. “We’ll eat fast.”

“Take your time. Narci and Huck are with me. I’ll be fine.”

“Have you eaten today?” Roxy asked.

“Tea and toast early this morning,” Meggie answered.

“We’ll bring you a sandwich,” Rebel said.

Meggie didn’t have much of an appetite, but she nodded and closed the door. As Roxy pulled off, and the four bikers in their detail surrounded her, Meggie waved, watching until they turned out of the parking lot.

“If you’re hungry, we can go to the cafeteria,” Narci suggested, materializing out of the shadows.

She was surprised to see him back on her detail, but she didn’t put up a fuss. He’d been sweet as pie.

“Thank you, but Reb will bring me a sandwich.”

“Sure thing, Meggie.”

Five minutes later, she walked into the NICU department. The duty nurse nodded to her from where she sat at her desk. Meggie waved in return. There were two other babies there today. One whose parents sat in front of the panda cart in tears.

Meggie wished the department had more privacy for each patient, but she knew part of the reason for the openness was for medical staff to always have eyes on the kids.

Unable to deal with anyone else’s grief right now, Meggie walked to Jo’s cart, startled to see her awake.

“Mrs. Caldwell, would you like to hold her?” Aileen asked. She was a pretty blonde who had been one of the nurses who helped to care for Jo after her birth. Before Torie started with her double shifts and inserting herself into their lives. “She’s had a very good morning.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Meggie sat in the rocking chair in front of her daughter’s panda cart. “Yes, I would love to hold her.”

Aileen smiled and placed Jo in Meggie’s arms with quick efficiency. “It is almost time for her formula. Would you like to feed her?”

Meggie settled her baby into the crook of her arms. She didn’t have as many tubes and wires connected to her, though Meggie would’ve had five weeks left to her pregnancy.

“Hello, my love,” she said softly, lifting Jo and kissing her cheek. She smiled. “You have your daddy’s black hair.”

Jo’s gaze fixed on her. Meggie took in each of her tiny features. Her perfect little nose filled with oxygen tubes. Her Kewpie doll mouth. Her cheeks finally fattening up. And that ink dark hair that Christopher gifted her with.

“I bet you’re going to have green eyes like him.”