Page 122 of Remorseless

It had started to storm outside again. Meggie noticed the rain as she reached the third floor and walked down the hallway, with sections of floor-to-ceiling windows, interspersed with Doric columns and white walls. Christopher’s favorite black and white photos of her hung on the walls, creating his own personal monument.

She thought about turning around and asking CJ not to go out in the inclement weather, but the night had exhausted her, so she continued to her bedroom, appreciating the silence and the dim light from a lamp. After turning on her bedside lamp, she sat on the edge of the bed and removed her Uggs, though she kept her clothes on.

She scooted to her pillow and laid her head down, drawing her knees to her chest. Waiting for Christopher. She knew he’d come. His stricken look at her instructions to Diesel hadn’t escaped her.

She wasn’t sure what he expected her to do. If she didn’t catch up to where their children were in their lives and respond accordingly, she wouldn’t be the wife Christopher needed or the mother her kids required. That probably hadn’t dawned on her husband yet. He was still a little lost. StillChristopher, whenOutlawwas so badly needed.

The door opened and closed quietly.

She didn’t lift her head and he didn’t move further into the room. Her skin prickled with awareness andneed. Each breath he took sent anticipation through her. Though she couldn’t hear his heartbeat or his pulse, hers adjusted to his. She didn’t have to hear to know they were synchronized.

She licked her lips. “You need me to be your wife or your old lady or a combination. That means doing whatever must be done to protect our kids and our lives.”

“You don’t fuckin’ trust me to protect you and them anymore?”

“Of course I do, Christopher.”

“You bein’ a fuckin’ hell goddess got me fucked in the head, baby. My sweet angel make me believe I ain’t evil through and through.” He sighed. “I guess that was always a fuckin’ illusion. If I wasn’t fuckin’ evil, you wouldn’t be no Snake Lite.”

“I’d prefer Big Joe Lite.”

“Either. Both.”

“Snake tried to kill you. I refuse to claim any similarities with that moron.”

“Megan?”

“Christopher?”

“Snake my fuckin’ cousin.”

Meggie turned the words over in her head, spit them out, and revisited them. She couldn’t make sense of the statement. “I beg your pardon?”

“Cee Cee had a sister. Kimber. She was Snake’s ma, not some unknown club girl like Big Joe always claimed.”

Meggie shot into a sitting position and gaped at Christopher. He was leaning against the door, arms folded.

“Omigod! Are we related?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Meggie thought for a moment. “Daddy was your uncle.”

Christopher’s eyes widened, then he shook his head again. “They never married.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said softly, searching his face. “Daddy loved you and took care of you as a member of his family.”

“Sometimes, I think Big Joe loved me more than he loved Snake.” He glanced away. “I hated Joey, and didn’t give a fuck at the time. Now that I’m older, I understand why he disliked me so much. I ain’t too sure how Kimber Caldwell looked, but I suspect she had black hair and green eyes like we all do. Joey was blond and blue eyed.”

“Maybe we can ask her? Where does she live?”

“Up or down. Ain’t too sure.”

“She’s dead?” Megan understood Christopher’s meaning. He referred to heaven and hell either as up and down or north and south. “How long?”

“Her death certificate lists her date of death as Joey’s birthdate. Cause is pregnancy complications. I think she died givin’ birth to your brother.”

There had been a pervasive sadness about Big Joe. Meggie always chalked it up to her mother’s treatment of him. Perhaps, he lived with regret and grief for a bunch of reasons.