Page 37

37

P aisley

Three days later

Fortune and Cookie look at me with forlorn eyes. No, not at their owners, but at me.

“I’ll be back later, guys.” I scratch each of their ears.

“Come, dogs!” Dave shouts. He has a treat for each of them in his hands, so they run after him, their nails clicking on the wooden floor as they try to find purchase.

“You’re going to need new floors,” I tell Becs. “Or get those dogs shoes for in the house.” I giggle. “There’ll be no getting a baby to sleep with those two around.”

“You might be right.” Becs is wearing a wraparound dress that fits her beautifully. It’s her first maternity dress. To think I might have to wear them too one of these days.

My heart fills with tentative hope and a whole lot of terror.

I pick up my jacket, putting it over my arm. Then I go outside. It is a beautiful day with the potential for late afternoon showers.

“Are you sure I can’t stay at home?” I moan.

“No,” Dave and Becs say together.

“Why not?” I don’t expect an answer, and they don’t give me one.

Dave unlocks the car as we walk toward it. I’m dragging my feet.

“Hi, Jessica.” Becs waves at the neighbor, who is watering the garden.

“Hi, Becs. You guys look smart.”

“We’re off to church for a christening.” Why does Becs sound so happy about it? Why did I agree to go to this thing?

I grumble under my breath. This is the very last thing I feel like doing. I finally settled on a royal blue dress and a matching jacket. The dress has always been a little roomy on me and now fits me like a glove. My breasts feel squeezed to death. I can’t believe how big they are already. I picked low heels and put my hair up. I’ve completed the look with a pair of pearl earrings and a matching pearl necklace. Actually, Jim’s grandmother gave them to me. She was a sweet old lady who passed away about a year before we split up. This is the first time I’ve been able to wear them since the divorce. To think I almost gave them away. I’m glad I didn’t. Jim might be a douchebag, but his granny was lovely.

I have emergency crackers and a bottle of water in my purse, just in case I need them. I lost my breakfast this morning, but so far, my tummy is behaving. Long may it last. I look up at the sky.

“Will do, but I doubt it will be necessary since they’re normally well-behaved,” the neighbor says, smiling. I’m not sure what they’re talking about.

Jessica looks to be middle-aged. She’s wearing a wide-brimmed hat and gardening gloves. From the tools out on the lawn, I would say that I know her plans for the afternoon.

She looks at me, and I wave. I’m not feeling like chatting, so I jump into the back of the Tucson and buckle up.

Becs and Dave continue talking with Jessica for another minute before climbing in as well.

“She’s so nice,” Becs says. “We’re lucky to have such sweet neighbors.”

Dave makes a noise of agreement as he starts the car. Then we’re pulling out and heading toward the church.

“Are you feeling okay, Paisley?” Dave asks, looking in his rearview mirror.

“I’m good, thanks.” I give a thumbs-up sign for good measure. I’m just dandy. My only wish was that I didn’t have to go to this thing.

“That’s good.” He smiles at me in the rearview before putting his eyes back on the road. Dave knows about my pregnancy. I told Becs she could tell him. It wasn’t fair to keep him in the dark; besides, he probably would have figured it out before long, anyway.

“And you, babe?” he asks Rebecca, putting a hand on her thigh.

“I’m fine. The last few days have been better.” Becs gives him an adoring look that makes me feel sorry for myself, so I look out of the window.

It’s weird; I’ve never been happier and yet so depressed. I don’t know what to do with myself.

I went to the doctor, and my blood test came back positive. I managed to pull some strings at my old hospital and got an appointment for an ultrasound on Tuesday. It’s not what you know at the end of the day but who you know.

Maybe I’ll be able to relax once I’ve seen the heartbeat. It still doesn’t feel real. I wake up in the morning and have to pinch myself.

Cedar Pines is a small town, so a mere five minutes later, we pull into the parking lot. The church is old and beautiful, with a white steeple and stained-glass windows. The parking lot is filled with cars and children who run around in their Sunday best, laughing and playing.

Dave takes Rebecca’s arm, and with me as the third wheel, we make our way to the entrance. I get one or two surprised looks from old work colleagues.

Of course, no one expects the ex-wife to be at a ceremony such as this. I keep my head held high. I smile and wave and keep walking.

“Hi, Paisley.”

“Hi, Sue.” I wave at a doctor I know but keep walking. I really don’t want to talk to her or anyone.

“Pais,” someone shouts, but I don’t turn to look. If they’re using the shortened version of my name, they’re friends with Jim. Or a colleague of Jim. I’m in no mood.

I’m going to stick to my plan and leave as soon as the service is over. I quickly duck into the church as the head of the surgical department points at me, elbowing his wife.

“I wish this was over already,” I whisper to Becs as she and Dave reach me.

“You’re doing great. You look great. I’m proud of you.” She squeezes my arm. “It’s a great way to show that you’re over him. That you’ve moved on.”

I can think of a better way. Of course, my mind wanders straight to Arctic, but I force myself to stop already.

We take a seat toward the back. The church fills up within the next five minutes. The minister walks onto the podium, which is raised above the congregation. There are flowers everywhere. They line the pews and adorn the altar, too. Jim and Lexi stand from their place in the first row and make their way to the podium.

A smiling Lexi is radiant, as always, dressed in white, as is the baby. Little Solomon has an antique-looking lace blanket draped over him. Jim is wearing a gray suit. He is smiling, his hand on his wife’s back. They look like the perfect family.

I feel a pang, but not because I want to be back with Jim. My mind goes back to thoughts of Arctic. It won’t get the memo, so I force myself to concentrate on the christening instead.

Once Lexi and Jim are in place, the minister begins to speak, and everyone quietens down.

His voice booms through the church, “Welcome, everyone, to the christening of baby Solomon James Harper. Son of Jim Shawn Harper and Lexi Harper. We are gathered here…”

I declined the interview for the position in Australia. I can’t go over there. Not now. Besides, who will hire me now that I’m pregnant?

I might look for a casual position at my old hospital where I fill in when required. It would be shift-to-shift. The pay is good, and I wouldn’t have to commit to anything long-term. The thought of seeing Jim on the regular has me holding back. Also, it feels too much like taking a step back.

I’ve started looking at two-bedroom apartments with short-term rentals. I’d like to move back into my own place when the lease expires. I need an interim solution. I can’t stay at Becs and Dave’s place for much longer.

I love them both dearly, and as much as they both keep telling me I can…I can’t. I need my own space, and they need theirs.

The congregation stands, and we sing a song from the sheet that was handed to us at the door. When we finish, we sit.

“It is customary for…” the minister goes on.

There’s a stir through the church. People next to us and on the other side of the aisle are turning back and staring. They’re nudging and whispering. Sparking people in front of us to turn around as well.

I feel a prickle go right up my spine.

It’s a prickle of awareness. I don’t have to turn to know who is there. In fact, I don’t want to. I do it anyway, and there he is.

“What the…?” I whisper under my breath.

It’s Arctic. He’s in one of his signature suits and takes up almost the whole entryway to the church, which is massive. Light streams in from behind him.

For a few moments, it feels like I might be dreaming. I even blink a few times, but he’s still there, and he’s not just a figment of my imagination.

What? How?

He looks bigger out here in real life among us mere humans. No wonder they call us mere humans…or puny humans or timid humans.

We are all of those things…because look at him. Just look. My mouth is gaping, but I can’t close it.

His eyes are so much more vivid blue than I remembered. His suit pulls tight around his biceps and thighs. His shoulders are impossibly broad, and his hips narrow. He must be close to seven feet tall. He has to be.

Arctic is even more gorgeous than I remembered him to be. Larger than life itself. My heart stutters. My hands turn clammy. I can hardly breathe.

“Holy shit!” Becs splutters. “Who invited the celebrity? That guy must be a rock star…or a movie star…he has to be one of the two. Surely. Do you know him?” she asks, narrowing her eyes. “Is he a friend of Jim’s?”

Everyone is speaking at once. It’s suddenly noisy in the quaint church.

Guards immediately flank him; they’re also in suits, looking slick. The chatter gets louder. People are pointing.

What is he doing here?

How did he find me?

What the hell?

Arctic scans the crowd, his eyes finding mine. He holds my gaze for what feels like a long time and then throws me a half-smile.

Heat pools in my belly. My nipples go tight.

My body needs to stop its shit!

There must be a reasonable explanation. Maybe he knows about the baby. Maybe he found out. How?

No!

“I think I just ovulated,” Becs whispers. “Did he just smile at me? I think he smiled at me.”

I have to bite back a laugh, even though my stomach knots up. I instantly feel queasy. I don’t think it’s the pregnancy this time.

“You didn’t just ovulate; it’s impossible,” I whisper back. “You’re pregnant, remember?”

“And yet it happened, anyway.”

Dave gives us a quizzical look. By now, everyone in the whole church is talking and staring, Jim and Lexi included. The minister looks flustered.

Arctic and his entourage walk in and take up the whole last row, and I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything.

Oh. My. God.

He’s here.

“If everyone can settle down,” the minister says, waving his arms. “We were about to christen little Solomon.”

“That’s him,” I whisper ever so softly into Bec’s ear.

“Him who? You recognize him, don’t you? He must be a celeb,” she whispers back, almost under her breath.

“Please, everyone…please…” the minister tries again. “If I could have your attention.”

“It’s Arctic,” I tell her.

Bec’s mouth falls open. “That’s your CEO?”

I nod.

“You slept with him ?” she mouths.

I give her a look. “Hello! I’m a catch.”

She giggles silently. “I’ve been telling you that for years.”

Silence finally descends, and the minister continues.

“He’s your baby daddy?” she mouths. It’s something we used to do in school when the teacher had their back turned. We’re excellent at reading lips.

“Yes.”

“He’s…he…”

Is freaking gorgeous!

We tell each other with our eyes.

“I know,” I mouth back, and we both silent-laugh.

Dave gives us both a dirty look. “Shhhhhh,” he whispers.

Becs bites her lip, her eyes dancing.

I don’t hear even a single word for the rest of the ceremony. The back of my scalp prickles. All I want to do is turn around. I want to go to him, but I also want to run in the opposite direction.

Why did he come?

I don’t get it. This doesn’t make any kind of sense.