Page 26 of Red King (The Dragon Tributes #7)

26

A rctic

I’m fine.

Hunky fucking dory.

That bastard got everything he deserved. Ice killed the love of my life. He may as well have pulled the trigger himself. In my mind’s eye, I keep picturing just that. I keep picturing him with the gun and him shooting all of those holes into my mate. I picture him laughing as she bled out.

I change into shorts, walk to my home gym, and start in on the punching bag, going hard right from the start.

I pummel the bag, feeling the rage build up within me instead of dissipating as I had hoped. It’s like a wild animal trying to claw its way out of my chest. I hit harder and faster, sweat dripping down my face and my hands stinging from the force of each punch. My frustration seems to mount with each hard blow.

I finally feel my knuckles split and start to bleed, but it hardly registers in the chaos of my thoughts. I’m so damned angry, not just with Ice but with myself, too. I’m filled with this unshakable loneliness that seems to gnaw at my very soul.

I did what I had to do.

Justice was served.

After a time, I stop hitting the bag. I’m breathing hard. Sweat and blood stain the floor. My arms are trembling from the exertion and sheer force of my strikes. Sweat drips from my brow, and yet I feel no better.

For a second, I consider shifting and flying, but that would require a whole fucking entourage, and I don’t want to see anyone right now.

I can’t.

I’m not fit for public consumption.

I still have far too much energy, so I hop on the treadmill, starting at a slow pace, trying to keep my breathing steady. The sound of my own heartbeat in my ears, the rhythmic pounding of my feet on the treadmill should be soothing. It isn’t.

Unfortunately, you can’t run away from yourself or your thoughts. You certainly can’t outrun your memories.

I wish I could.

I’d give anything for peace.

I press the button a few times and run faster and faster still. I run until sweat pours down my face, stinging my eyes and making it hard to see, but I don’t stop. I can’t.

I run until exhaustion takes over. Only then do I stop. My body feels numb.

Good.

I go to the bathroom and get into the shower. The water is hot. I soap up and then quickly wash off, seeing blood swirl down the drain. I look at my hands, and my knuckles are already starting to heal.

As I leave the shower stall, there is a buzz at my door.

I’m pretty sure it’s Steel. Why isn’t he getting the message? I don’t want to talk. There isn’t anything to say. I’m in no mood.

Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll go away. There is another buzz, followed by another much longer buzz. He isn’t giving up.

Fuck!

Why can’t he take a hint?

I wrap a towel around my middle, not bothering to dry off, and I go through to the reception area. I look up at the camera and take a step back, my eyes narrowing as shock fills me.

He brought her here.

Why?

I soften just looking at Paisley. I can’t do it. I can’t let her in. She can’t be here. I’m too wound up, so filled with all of these conflicting emotions. I’m wired. My dragon is pacing.

I push down on the button on the intercom. “Go away.” I release it immediately so that I can’t hear them.

Then I put my hand on the wall, too tired to stand upright without support.

Steel and Paisley exchange words for a long minute, and then Steel nods and presses the button again, making the buzzer sound.

I crack just the barest hint of a smile. Paisley is a force. How did she convince Steel to bring her here in the first place?

He presses the buzzer again, and I very nearly let them in. I can’t! I just can’t! I fist my hand instead.

They exchange words, more heated this time; Paisley gets up in his face. I’m sure she’s having to stand on her tippy toes. My mouth twitches.

Steel shakes his head.

Paisley keeps on at him.

He shakes his head again, and the argument continues. He puts an arm around her and tries to usher her away, but she ducks out from under it and runs back to my door, pressing on the buzzer again.

She sure is a feisty little thing.

Steel puts his arms around her, but she wriggles, fighting him. He picks her up and turns, walking away. I can see that she is screaming, even though I can’t hear her. She reaches an arm out toward me; it’s like she’s looking straight at me. Steel keeps walking, and I see fucking red.

My dragon wants me to tear Steel limb from limb.

I open my door. “Put her down right fucking now,” I snarl, feeling my vision narrow. My teeth have sharpened, and my nail beds are tingling. I hold on to either side of the doorjamb to stop myself from attacking him.

Down, boy.

Steel is my friend. He’s my best friend. I will my dragon to calm down.

Steel stops mid-stride and turns; surprise flickers in his eyes. He smiles as he puts Paisley down. Then he holds up his hands and takes a step backward, followed by another one.

“Easy. She’s fine. I wouldn’t hurt her. I swear.”

“You don’t get to touch her.” I’m being completely irrational. It’s my dragon. With my emotions so out of whack, I can barely control him. I hate feeling this out of control.

“I’m fine.” Paisley walks up to me. “I was worried. I forced Steel to bring me here. I needed to see you.”

“Forced?” I look over at my friend, who smiles and lifts his brows, shrugging.

“You should learn to control your beast. You look scary as fuck,” he tells me.

I look down at myself, and my muscles are huge. There are scales…everywhere. I run my tongue over my teeth, and sure enough, they’re sharp. My eyes will be slitted, but Paisley doesn’t seem to mind at all. Then again, I suppose she’s used to seeing me like this.

She walks up to me. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone. You look like you could use a friend.”

“I’m fine. I’m…just…I’m in a bad place right now. It would probably be best if you left.”

She frowns. “That’s the most idiotic thing I ever heard. It’s the very last thing you need, Arctic.”

“I told you,” Steel tells her, and I snarl at him, sounding like an animal.

He puts his hands back up. “Easy, Arctic. Easy, buddy.”

“Don’t do that.” Paisley wags a finger at me. “He’s your friend; that’s not very nice.”

“Human, you probably shouldn’t poke the bear,” he tells Paisley, keeping his eyes on me. “You should probably take a few steps away…better yet, get behind me.”

“Relax, he’s not going to hurt me,” she tells Steel.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here.” Steel shakes his head. “Arctic’s a mess. His dragon is strong and pissed and—”

I growl low. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not even here.”

“Look at you, Arctic. You’re halfway to a damned shift.” He looks at Paisley. “He’s angry. You don’t want to be around an angry dragon.”

Steel is right; I’m out of my head with rage. Right now, I’m angry at the world. I’m angry at the unfairness of it all. I’m angry that my mate was killed. Angry I have to choose a new one. Angry…

“He’s fine.” Paisley puts her hand on my chest, and something weird happens: my dragon purrs. He fucking purrs.

I purr.

I’ve never purred in my life. It’s deep, almost like a growl, but distinctly not. My scales pull back. I feel so much calmer. My head clears. My vision, too.

I put my hand over hers, my heart slowing to a more normal pace.

“Well, shit,” Steel mutters. He’s grinning when I look over at him. “I guess you’re staying after all,” Steel tells Paisley. Then he looks back at me. “Unless—”

“Paisley can stay.” I take her hand and lead her into my chamber.

“You have my number if you need me,” Steel shouts just before I close the door in his face.

“I’m sorry I had to barge in on you. I’m sorry I…” She stops talking. “No.” She shakes her head. “Actually, I’m not sorry.” She looks at me pointedly. “I was worried about you.” She grabs me and pulls me into a hug.

I put my arms around her and bury my head into the crook of her neck. For a while, we just stand there like that. My mind feels clear.

We pull apart, but I keep a hand on her hip, not wanting to let her go.

“I didn’t want you to be alone. I had hoped you were with Steel. I’m glad I checked. You must be a complete mess, and rightfully so. I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I should stop talking now. You wanted quiet, and you got blabbermouth instead.”

The sorrow that bubbles up to the surface is so unexpected that it takes my breath away for a few moments.

Paisley must see it on me because she pushes out a heavy breath.

“Arctic,” she whispers my name. “I’m so sorry.” She pulls me back into a hard hug, and I dissolve into her arms. I fall apart like I never have in my life. I fall apart like I should have done when I lost Anya.

I crack.

I tear.

I break.

I break into a thousand pieces but it’s okay because she’s there to catch each and every one.