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34

P aisley

Ten days later…

“I’ll be back soon,” I tell Rebecca as I shut the front door. It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon with not a cloud in the sky, and I’m so depressed I instantly wish I’d stayed in my room. I yawn. I’m exhausted, too, and I haven’t done anything today. Not so much as a thing.

The dogs tug hard on the leads. By now, I’m used to getting dragged along. Fortune and Cookie are lucky they’re so darned cute, or I wouldn’t be out here. I would have stayed in bed and called it a pajama day.

They pull me all the way down the driveway and all the way up the road. I think my arms are at least an inch longer since I started taking them for walks nearly a month ago.

I can’t believe it’s been that long. I really need to get my ass in gear.

I still haven’t sent out a single resume, and it’s bugging me. I’ve decided I’m going to dive in as soon as I get home.

I must!

“Slow down, you two. Take it easy,” I mutter as we round a corner, almost ramming into…her.

It’s her!

No.

No. No. No. No.

Nooooooooo!

Why me? Why?

“Hi, Pais!” Lexi beams at me. She’s wearing a summer dress and looking freaking gorgeous.

How does she do it?

I look down at the sweatpants and oversized T-shirt I slept in last night. And yeah, they do look like I slept in them and smell like I slept in them, too. Lexi looks a million times better than I do, and I didn’t just push a baby out of my vagina.

Her eyes are bright. Her skin is clear. Her boobs are about triple the size they were, and her waist is just as tiny as it was before. How? I mean, really. She can’t be human.

“I’m so happy to see you.” She comes in for a hug.

A hug.

I hug her back, using just one hand, which I tap a few times on her back.

“Hi, Lexi. Congrats on the baby.” I peer into the stroller. He’s under a blanket. There isn’t much to see except for a tiny blob.

“Thanks so much. He’s already sleeping through the night.”

He can’t be more than five or six weeks old but sleeping through the night. That’s ridiculous. I’ve never heard of that happening.

“What? Really? That’s amazing. You must have a ton of milk.” I point at her breasts and then quickly drop my hand because it’s slightly rude. “You look like you do.” Why am I still talking?

She laughs. “You’re right…I do. I have two tons.” She points at each of her boobs in turn and laughs. “I’ve been pumping and donating the extra milk to babies in need.”

Of course she is.

Not doing that!

Arghhhh!

I need to be nice. She deserves nice. I will be nice.

“I heard a rumor that you were back. What happened?” She looks concerned. “You’re too good at your job to have been fired. Did you hate it there?”

“I resigned,” I mumble, wishing I didn’t have to talk about this…again.

“Oh, no! How come? What made you do that?” Her eyes are filled with concern. “Did something happen?”

I got caught having sex with my boss and had to leave.

I can’t say that.

The silence has grown decidedly uncomfortable. Lexi starts fiddling with a button on her dress.

I need to come up with something…anything. “I missed Reese. You know the guy I’m dating? I missed him so much that I had to come back to be with him.”

I’m a terrible person.

I deserve to be alone for being such a liar.

Once again, I panicked. It was that or the truth. And since the truth sucks, I’ll stick with my lie. Jim and Lexi do not need to know.

“Oh!” She nods a few times and smiles. “That makes sense. So, the two of you are quite serious, then?”

I think of the packet of Reese’s Cups I ate just last night and nod. “Very. He gives me everything I need.”

“I’m so happy for you.” She smiles. “What are the plans?”

“For now, just taking a break, but the ultimate plan is to head to Europe soon.”

“With Reese?” She lifts her brows.

“Yes. We’re moving to France.” I’m a terrible liar. Why doesn’t she see through me? Why do the lies keep falling off my tongue? Soon, I’m going to be a pro, and not even Maggie will be able to tell.

“Are you living with him?”

“No, I’m staying with Becs, you know, just to get some time with her before we leave.”

“When are you leaving?”

Sheesh, is this Twenty Questions?

I shrug. “In a couple of weeks.”

Maybe never.

“That’s so wonderful.”

The baby starts fretting. He makes these little noises and is kicking and flailing under the blanket.

“Oh, shoot.” Lexi picks him up, and he settles right away. “It’s okay, Solly,” she coos at the little guy.

He’s cute, looks just like Jim. I can’t imagine how happy my ex must be. Actually, I can.

“Do you want to hold him?” she says. Before I can answer, she adds. “Here…you hold him.” She thrusts him into my arms. “He’s so stinking cute,” she adds, looking down at him with such love.

The tiny baby cuddles against me. His eyes are closed, and he seems to be sucking on a non-existent pacifier, which is beyond cute. He’s chubby, with rosy cheeks.

“He’s gorgeous.” My voice is a little choked. “So cute.” I clear my throat.

Damn, I’m going to cry.

I mustn’t. I really can’t.

Shit!

“Solly’s christening is next weekend. Please, won’t you come? It would be wonderful to have you there. Rebecca and Dave are going to be there. There are a few other people you know. You would make my day…really and truly.” She touches the side of my arm and smiles at me. I can see that she really means it.

How do I say no?

Dammit! Damn!

“Please,” she whispers.

“Sure…yes. I can attend.” I smile, deciding that although I’ll go to the service, I won’t be going to the tea afterward. I’ll sneak out.

Lexi looks thrilled. She even gives a little squeal, making that look elegant somehow.

“I’m so happy. Jim will be thrilled.”

I don’t want to see him. I’m tempted to back out, but I can’t. She’s just so happy. Look at her. Her smile is about a mile wide, and her eyes dance.

There’s this godawful noise that sounds like a mini explosion, and I look down at the baby in my arms. That can’t have come from him.

Surely not.

“Oh, dear,” Lexi says, rummaging through a bag. It looks suspiciously like a diaper bag.

“Oh dear, what?”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

I get this whiff of…death. I’ve had to clean up behind Fortune and Cookie numerous times, and it was never this bad. Especially considering that they eat everything. I’ve caught Fortune eating Cookie’s vomit and Cookie eating bird shit. Their excrement doesn’t smell anything like this.

It’s disgusting. Like that muck you find at the bottom of a sewer, only inside a dead body.

What does she feed this kid?

It can’t be milk.

It’s vile.

I lift my head and try not to breathe. It doesn’t work. I’m an ER nurse, I’ve seen terrible things. Smelled worse things, and yet…I gag.

I. Gag.

It’s never happened in all my years on the job.

“I’m sorry.” My mouth is filling with saliva. This has never happened to me before, either. I’m seconds away from losing my breakfast. Since I ate a few hours ago, that’s no mean feat. I keep swallowing down the saliva, but my body makes more. How can I have so much of the stuff?

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Gosh!” She takes the baby, putting him back in the stroller. The baby starts fussing right away. “I need to get home to change him. It’s a bad one.” She widens her eyes. “A really bad one.”

It sure is.

Then she turns the stroller and starts fast-walking. The baby has started wailing; you can hear his little cries.

Lexi turns back. “Bring Reese next weekend. We’d love to meet him.”

I must be looking at her like she lost it because she adds, “To Solly’s christening. Bring your boyfriend.”

I nod. “I will. Of course, yes.” I nod a lot…too much. My stomach is still rolling.

She waves and keeps going.

It’s only when the beagles pull on the lead that I remember they’re even there.

“Good dogs.” I reach down and give them each a scratch behind the ear. “What do you say we go to the park?” Thankfully, the nausea is dissipating.

The dogs jump and yip around my legs.

“That’s what I thought, guys.” I smile at them.

We start walking.

What did I just do? What did I just agree to?

I’m such an idiot.