Page 13

13

P aisley

I’m nervous. My hands are sweating, and I’ve never had sweaty hands in my life. I’m not sure why I’m so worried. Last night was a huge success.

By the end of the night, candidates and Tributes were mingling without any intervention. I did notice that Arctic left early.

Why?

Didn’t he enjoy himself?

Didn’t he meet anyone he liked?

When I first noticed that he was gone, I had a moment of panic. I wondered if he might have left with someone. It took me a few minutes to count the Tributes. Everyone was there. Then, I had a moment of relief. I even felt happy he had left. I had to stop myself. It was wrong. All of my emotions were plain wrong.

I enter the Royal Office.

“Good morning,” Sally says as soon as she sees me. “Did the dress fit?”

“Perfectly. Thank you so much.” I gave my measurements to Arctic’s PA, and she did an amazing job. Although… “Maybe not as revealing next time, Sally. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you going to all that trouble.”

“No trouble at all. I’m afraid I’ve already ordered a few more dresses.” She wrinkles her nose. “I hope you like them. There’s a dinner tonight, if I’m not mistaken?”

“That’s right.” I nod.

“It’s too late to change that outfit, but we’ll see about the others.”

“Don’t go to too much trouble. If they’re already ordered, I’ll take them. It’s just that I normally do a sleeve or, at the very least, a strap. And not quite so short…but, again, I don’t want to be a nuisance. Please don’t go changing orders. Besides, I’m pretty sure I won’t be needed in this role for too much longer.”

“Just a little bit of unsolicited advice; you’re very pretty, Paisley. Trust me on two things: one, you only live once, and two, before you know it, you’re too old to wear dresses like the ones I picked for you. But I would be happy to exchange them if you feel uncomfortable. Give it some thought.” She winks at me.

“Okay, I will.” Maybe she’s right.

“Good.” She nods her head to the closed door. “He is ready for you.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Can I get you something to drink?” she asks as I’m about to turn away.

“No, I’m sure I’ll be in and out,” I tell her as I walk over to his door. I take a deep breath and knock twice.

“Come in.”

Here goes nothing. My stomach clenches when I walk in. I’m being so silly.

He closes his laptop as I enter. Once again, his desk is clear of any clutter. The whole place is pristine.

I plaster a smile on my face. “Good morning.” I stand tall, trying to appear more confident than I feel. “I hope you’re doing well today.”

There is a small smile playing on his lips. “Paisley, please have a seat. I appreciate you coming in promptly this morning.”

He’s wearing a suit. I hate how good he looks in them. He also smells really great. There must be something wrong with him. If there is, I haven’t been able to find it. No one is this perfect. There has to be a flaw.

I take the chair across from him and start to fidget with the hem of my scrubs. “Of course. I’m here to assist in any way I can.” I force myself to stop and clasp my hands in my lap instead.

Arctic leans back in his chair, studying me for a moment. “I wanted to thank you for your efforts last night at the event. It was a success, largely due to your meticulous planning and attention to detail.”

I feel a rush of warmth wash over me at his comment, even though it isn’t wholly true. “Thank you. I’m glad everything went smoothly, but it was very much a team effort. In fact, Cathy did most of the work. She was responsible for executing my ideas at such short notice.”

“And how are things between the two of you?”

“As expected, she’s not thrilled with me being on board, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m pretty sure she’ll be able to tackle the role without me before too long.”

“Are you eager to be done with this position?”

“It’s not that.” I smile. “I actually quite enjoyed putting a new itinerary together and watching how successful last night was. It made me feel…good. Like I’m making a difference.”

“Well, then? Why the rush to leave us?”

“I hate stepping on toes.”

“Cathy needs you right now. The Tributes do, too. Don’t be too quick to step away. Take your time. Perhaps see it through…the whole three months, that is,” he tells me.

“We’ll see. It’s important you know that Cathy had some really great ideas once we started discussing the cocktail evening. Giving everyone a number was her idea. She had some fantastic ideas for the dinner tonight, as well. We’re using a method called speed dating.” I widen my eyes. “I had never heard of it before. You see, Cathy is young and very familiar with matchmaking techniques I know nothing about. I mean, she’s active on the dating circuit, so she would know.” I give a nervous laugh and quickly stop myself. “She’s also been working in events management for a few years and already has her own business.” I force myself to shut up because I’m sure he must know all of this. At the very least, he trusts his team to have employed the right people for the job.

“And you’re not actively dating?” His expression doesn’t change. “You’re single, aren’t you, Paisley?”

I narrow my eyes and must look taken aback because I certainly feel it. It’s a strange thing to ask an employee. How does he know all this?

“I read your file.” He gives me a measured look. “I make it my business to know all of my management team. Your marital status is on record. You’ve been divorced for over two years now. Are you telling me you don’t date?”

How is this relevant?

“Um…” I try not to squirm in my seat and fail. “No…I haven’t dated since my break-up. I was with the same man from high school. Jim was my first love, so I’ve never really dated.” I shrug, feeling like a complete loser. Why did I just say all of that? I’m sure he was looking for a straight no.

“It looks like you’re using Cathy’s knowledge to your advantage. A good leader knows their own weaknesses as well as the strengths and weaknesses of those on their team. Speed dating.” He lifts his brows. “I’ve never heard of it myself.”

“You’ll find out all about it tonight, since you’re a candidate.” I give him a pointed look.

“What is it?” he asks in that low voice of his. “I can see there’s something going on in that brain of yours.” He gives me a half-smile.

Too damned perfect.

“You left early last night. Yes, I noticed. I made it my business to keep my eye on everyone at the event. You left an hour before the end and were the only one to do so. Even Lauren stayed, and she’s still recovering from an injury.”

“My apologies. I had an early start this morning. I meant it when I said that I had a demanding role. I don’t often get to do the things I enjoy.”

I want to ask him about his astronomy, but I don’t. I’d be out of line. It doesn’t quite feel like it, but this is a formal meeting.

“Forgive me, but I noticed that although you chatted with a few women, you didn’t seem to make any real connections. You looked like you were going through the motions. You do know it’s almost double the number of men to women? You will need to put in some effort, Arctic.”

He smiles at me. “I know that, Paisley. I’m fully aware of the odds and that they’re stacked against me.”

“I suppose you’re the king and used to getting any woman you want.” I slap a hand over my mouth. “Forgive me. I probably shouldn’t have said that,” I say from behind my hand.

His smile widens. “I like how forthright you are. It’s one of the reasons I hired you. Actually, I haven’t dated in a long time either. In fact, I win.” He gets this faraway, hazy look. “It’s been over four years since… It’s been a long time.”

He hasn’t dated in over four years. Why? Has he been that busy? It sounds like there’s more to it. Does he just have sex? Are there concubines at the castle to service his every need? Or is he fully celibate?

No.

He can’t be.

Just no.

“My mate was murdered four and a half years ago. Her name was Anya. It was an assassination attempt. The bullets that killed her were meant for me. She died in my arms.”

Holy shit!

Horror at his words grows inside me. It fills me up.

I sit frozen in my chair, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air between us. The casual banter we had just shared feels like a distant memory now, replaced by the gravity of his confession. My heart aches for him, for the pain he must have endured and continues to carry. I can see it now. It’s there…just below the surface.

How did I miss it?

No wonder this is so hard on him.

“I’m so sorry,” I manage to whisper; my voice shakes a little. No words seem adequate in the face of such tragedy.

Arctic’s gaze softens as he looks at me, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his features before his mask slides back into place. “Thank you, Paisley. It’s not something I talk about often. It’s not disinterest. It’s just—”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” I shake my head. “I get it. I understand.”

“I have to find a mate. I am the king, and therefore, I have a responsibility to my people to give them heirs. When this program was on the cards, there was some push-back despite our situation…our desperation. That’s when I decided to enter the program. It is largely due to the pressure I received from my Council…from my people. I doubt I will ever love again, but I do need to mate again. I’m telling you all this so that you understand my stance and so that you don’t take any of it personally.”

I nod. I don’t know what to say.

“I will be very honest with whomever I end up with.” He shrugs. “I hope for companionship and someone who would be a good mother to my children.”

“That’s sad, Arctic. I thought I was cynical. It looks like I’ve found a rival. You win!” Not so perfect after all, then. None of us is.

“Was your divorce bitter?”

I nod once. I don’t want to talk about it with him or anyone. Especially not with him.

“Shifters don’t divorce. We mate for life. We’re a highly possessive species.”

“Oh!” I frown. “I was under the impression that polygamy was practiced on the island.”

“Not by choice. Never by choice. Females can mate with up to five males. It is encouraged because there are simply not enough females to go around by far. The Tributes who wish to stay will be encouraged to do the same.”

I gasp. “Really? It isn’t something that most humans practice. I doubt there would be any takers. We’ll have to wait and see. What about you?”

“What about me, Paisley?”

“Would you be open to sharing? Is that the plan?”

His eyes seem to darken, reminding me of a stormy sea.

“I don’t share. I would never share.” His voice has dropped a couple of octaves, and the way he is looking at me makes me feel like he is talking about me, which is insane. “I’m too alpha, Paisley. Too seriously fucking possessive to ever let anyone else touch what is mine.”

The way he says the word “mine” has my heart stuttering and my breath hitching. I swallow thickly, the sound reverberating around the room.

“I get it.” I clear my throat because I don’t sound like me. My nipples have gone hard as nails. That heat is pooling between my legs again. How is that sexy?

It is.

His eyes drop to my chest. His jaw tightens, and his nostrils flare as his gaze locks back with mine.

How did this conversation get to this point? This is like no business meeting I have ever attended.

“We’re all set for tonight.” I quickly change the topic. “I’ll be there to observe. Dinner and then speed dating. You should try to stay to the end this time and try to…make a connection with one of the Tributes. You never know; you might surprise yourself.”

“You never know,” he rasps, his eyes impossibly bright.

“If there’s anything else?”

“Were there any meaningful connections made last night?” He steeples his hands on the desk.

“I’d say there were. Three of the women made appointments with Dr. du Pont this morning. I have a feeling it’s for birth control. I can’t divulge who the women are.”

“Of course not. It’s good news.”

“I mean, there are condoms readily available. All the apartments are stocked.”

He nods. “I am aware.”

Of course he is. Once again, I don’t know why I said all of that.

“I need to get back to the clinic. Unless there was something else you wanted to discuss.” I pause. “I’m assuming you looked at the amended itinerary?”

“I did, and I’m happy with where you’re going with the project.”

“When do you want to meet again?” I’m praying he doesn’t say tomorrow. I’m not sure why these meetings are even necessary. Actually, this project is important. That’s why. It has to be.

“In a couple of days will be fine.”

I breathe an internal sigh of relief. “Okay, then.”

Arctic nods, a flicker of something unreadable passing through his eyes. “Thank you, Paisley. I’ll see you later.”

I gather my things and make my way to the door, the weight of his confession still heavy in my mind. I can’t believe he told me all of that. Surely, he didn’t have to. He doesn’t owe me any explanations, and yet…he opened up.

I guess finding someone new is a big step for him. He must be feeling vulnerable. I’d hate to have his responsibilities. The expectations on him are not right. It’s like this island is both modern and living in the dark ages. Having said that, I find myself drawn to both the island and to him. If the door was closed before, after all he told me, it’s since been padlocked shut.

Arctic is not for me. He never will be. There have been moments where I’ve felt something between us. Something charged. I felt for a second there last night that he was flirting with me. I know now that it was my imagination running wild.

I feel a little sad. I was looking for a flaw, and I found a huge one. Arctic is too damaged by the loss of his wife to ever give his heart to someone else again, and I feel wholeheartedly for him.