Page 40 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

Ivy

Ivy

It had been a week since I had been taken, and Zane was being…

distant. Not physically. He hasn’t let me out of his sight and every night when we get to bed he tucks me next to him and holds me close.

And not necessarily emotionally either. He tells me he loves me every day.

We had talked about the day I was taken.

He was relentless until I told him every last detail I could remember.

He’d taken me to his private physician and ordered him to give me a full work-up.

It hadn’t mattered the poor man explained the benzonatate Sarah had given me would have no lasting side effect and it was nothing more than a cough suppressant.

However, despite all that he was, something had changed in him.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could feel it.

He made me talk about my feelings but refused to tell me more than he had in the car the night he saved me.

He admitted he was scared, too, but after that Zane had clammed up.

The worst part – the social mask of indifference was firmly in place.

My heart was breaking. He’d never hid from me; I had always been different.

Not now. He hadn’t smiled since that night.

We slept next to each other every night, but he refused sex.

He stalled my advances and made excuses.

For seven days I’d laid myself bare and he’d rejected me.

I fought every day to push back old habits, old insecurities, but without Zane’s reminders they were bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

Without Zane’s strength, I would fail. I knew it.

Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.

I prayed I was strong enough to fight for us when Zane couldn’t.

He deserved it. He needed a woman who could carry the load when he couldn’t, but I was scared as hell I wasn’t there yet. I wanted to be. I wanted my Zane back.

“That was beautiful, wasn’t it?” Olivia asked, stopping next to me.

I took in Jaxon and Violet’s backyard. It was already a beautiful oasis without all the wedding decorations.

All the extras just made it more stunning.

And Violet looked amazing in her strapless wedding dress.

Declan had walked her down the aisle to an awaiting Jaxon.

They didn’t have a bridal party because only family and close friends were invited.

We all stood up for them. They agreed they wanted everyone they loved to be included in the ceremony.

“It was. I can’t believe they pulled all of this off so fast.” Two men I didn’t recognize walked by and joined two women at one of the tables that had been set up.

They definitely weren’t at the ceremony.

There was no way two men that hot could’ve gone unnoticed. “Who are they?” I whispered to Olivia.

She turned and looked around as her eyes landed on the group.

“Oh my God. Come on. I have to introduce you.” Olivia didn’t give me a chance to answer. She grabbed my hand and towed me behind her .

“Caroline,” Olivia exclaimed. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Liv!” One of the women jumped up and pulled Olivia into an embrace before stepping back, holding her at arm’s length. A huge smile graced the pretty woman’s face. “Well, well, well, looks like I was right.” She winked at Olivia. “You look stunningly happy.” She nodded at Olivia’s baby bump.

The woman looked over to me, the smile not leaving her face. “Hi, I’m Caroline.”

She let go of Olivia and offered me an outstretched hand.

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Ivy.”

“Sorry, where are my manners?” Olivia started. “This is Ivy, Zane’s woman. Ivy, this is Caroline and her husband, Matthew. This is Christopher and his wife, Alabama.”

“Hi.” I waved to the group as they all stood in greeting.

My gaze traveled up their strong, fit bodies and I wondered if they were in the same line of work as Zane. They had to be. Normal men didn’t carry themselves the way these guys did. Tall and broad and a little scary if I was being honest.

“How ya been, Hash?” Christopher asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Will you ever let that go?”

“Once a nick is given, it’s yours.” The man smiled. “For life.”

“Great. Mind if we sit? My feet are killing me in these heels. But don’t tell Leo, he’ll make me go in the house and lie down.”

“Please.” Matthew said and pulled a chair out for her before Christopher did the same for me. After they got their wives situated, they finally sat.

Hot and had manners. Huh. Definitely the kind of men that Zane worked with .

“So. You’re the one,” Christopher said.

Oh, shit. Did they know? I’d never met any of Zane’s friends other than the team.

The thought had never crossed my mind there were more people that cared about Zane and the type of woman he was with.

If they knew about my past and what Sarah had done, they’d want better for their friend. They’d know I was too much trouble.

“Easy, Ivy, I meant you’re the woman who finally captured the elusive Viper’s attention. And from what we’ve heard, he doesn’t plan on letting you slip away,” he continued.

“Something you should know,” Alabama said as she leaned over. “The men in the group gossip more than the women.”

“Oh, yeah. Zane and I are... umm.. together,” I stammered.

Just then Zane and Leo made their way to our table.

“Baby.” He crouched beside me and kissed my forehead. As nice as that felt, I wished he’d kiss me the way he used to. Maybe he thought I was dirty now that another man had seen me naked. Lance hadn’t had the opportunity to touch me there but he did see me. “I see you’ve met Wolf and Abe.”

“Who?”

The table chuckled and Caroline spoke up. “Mine is Wolf, Alabama’s is Abe. You’ll find there are a lot of names you need to memorize. Everyone has at least two.”

Yes, I had learned that. Zane’s team all had nicknames they used as well. It had taken me a few days to remember what call-sign went with whom. Both Matthew and Christopher were whispering something to their wives. Both women nodded, and the men stood.

“Viper, you gotta minute?” Matthew asked, his tone much harsher than he’d used when speaking to the group of women.

Zane gave him a nod and turned to me. “I’ll be right back. You need anything?”

The pain I saw behind Zane’s gaze gutted me. I didn’t know how to make it better. Maybe he was done with me and didn’t know how to tell me. Perhaps he needed an out. If I told him I was leaving I bet I’d see relief.

I’d tell him after the wedding, when we get home to Zane’s house. I had to stop thinking of the penthouse as home – but yes, I’d tell him then.

“No. Thank you,” I answered.

“I’ll be back, tesorino. Please drink your water.” I heard Leo tell Olivia.

The men walked away from the table and Olivia, Alabama, and Caroline jumped into a conversation about the baby.

They were obviously close and were smiling and laughing, catching up.

Once again I was an outsider in my own life.

I didn’t belong here with all these great people.

They were good and clean. I was the same white trash, daughter of an addict whore, as I’ve always been.

I waited until there was a lull in conversation before I stood. “If you’ll all excuse me, please. It was really nice meeting you all.”

I didn’t bother waiting for them to say anything.

I knew I was being rude, but I couldn’t sit in Jaxon and Violet’s backyard any longer and pretend my life hadn’t unraveled.

I was thrilled everyone was smiling and happy.

They all deserved it, they’d earned it. I, on the other hand, didn’t belong.

Zane was done with me, which meant his friends were, too.

For all I knew, they all knew he was trying to find a way to scrape me off and were being nice, simply because they’re good people .

I was almost to the side gate when I heard Alabama.

“Ivy, wait.” I plastered on the fakest smile I could muster and I turned to face her. “We need to talk.”

“Okay.” I glanced around the side yard. “Everything alright?”

“I know what happened.”

The flinch was involuntary, and I tried my best to fortify my shields, but I was struggling.

“Well, I don’t know everything. But Christopher did give me the heads up that Tex had called and they were on standby in case you were taken west. The guys would be ready to intercept you.”

“I’m sorry for the trouble I caused.” Alabama narrowed her eyes. “You won’t ever have to worry about it again.”

“You’re misunderstanding,” she tried.

“No, I’m not. I get it. Zane is a great man. He deserves more than me. You can tell everyone after today he’ll be free to find her.”

“What in the actual fuck!” I heard growled. “I’m getting Zane.”

“Leo, don’t. Let them talk,” Olivia begged her husband.

“No, tesorino. That’s jacked.”

“Trust me, please. Let them talk. Please, baby.”

“You have five minutes,” he warned.

I wouldn’t need five minutes. I’d be long gone before that.

“You’re making a mistake,” Alabama continued once Olivia drug a pissed off Leo away.

“How do you know?” I bit off a little harsher than I intended.

“Because I see you. I know you.”

“And who am I? The piece of trash Zane needs to toss?”

“A survivor. I recognize you in myself. We’re the same. ”

“That’s doubtful.”

I knew Alabama meant well, but she had no idea.

“My mama told me everyday she wished I wasn’t born.

She beat me, she locked me in the closet, she told me never to speak.

And before I met Christopher every person in my life had failed me; from the police to social workers.

So, yes, Ivy, I know you. I see the sadness in your eyes.

I watched you shut down when Zane approached.

You’re getting ready to give up because you don’t think you’re worthy.

You’re getting ready to walk away because Zane has in some way hurt your feelings, so you think it’s the end. It’s not. Don’t run.”

Okay. So maybe she did know me.

“She’s right,” Olivia added.

Damn little sneak came back.

“Matthew told me your mother had run you off the road and taken you. He wasn’t breaking confidence or gossiping.

It was only told because we were getting ready to go to Christopher and Alabama’s cabin and the cell service sucked.

He wanted to stay home in case you needed him.

” Damn. I’d ruined their plans as well. “And I’m only telling you that so you’ll understand the gravity of the situation.

Zane didn’t only have his team at his back, he had our guys as well.

Tex called in every team he works with across the country.

You had a Delta team on standby, Texas Rangers, FBI agents, cops, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if some firefighters were in there, too.

When Zane’s woman goes missing, great men rally around him.

They have his back. It’s what they do. Who has your back? ”

“We do,” Olivia answered for me. “You’re not alone anymore.”

“He won’t touch me,” I told them. “Sure, he cuddles me at night. He kisses my forehead or my cheek, but he won’t touch me. I tried to fight Lance the best I could. I swear it. Now Zane won’t touch me. He looks at me differently. He tells me he loves me with pity in his voice.”

Alabama pulled me into a hug and I finally let go of the tears I’d been holding in.

“He’s scared, Ivy. He feels like he let you down. Have you tried to talk to him?” Olivia asked.

“No. What am I gonna say? Why won’t you have sex with me?”

“Yes. That’s what you say. Then you knock him on the side of his hard head and make him talk to you.”

“And if he won’t?”

“Then you knock him on his ass until he does. Do you love him?”

“Of course I do.” Affronted, Olivia would ask.

“Then fight for him.”

“But if he…”

“Time for your big girl panties, Ivy. I’ve been with Matthew Wolf Steel a long time.

Long enough to know that while he is the biggest, baddest, warfighter the Navy has ever trained, he’s still human.

He still feels all the same emotions. He’s just better at locking them down.

You need to lock every insecurity you have away and make him see you. ”

Could I do that? Forget everything my mother had taught me and fight for Zane? I had to if I wanted my one shot at happiness. I had to fight like hell to pull Zane back to the present. The girls were right. I wasn’t a quitter and Zane needed me.

It was my turn to be strong.

“Thank you. All of you. Sorry I freaked out.”

“You didn’t. We’ve all been there. Come on, let’s go back to the table. I think we all need a drink. Except for Little Miss Preggo.” Caroline laughed .

As we made our way back to the table, Caroline nudged Alabama with her shoulder.

“I’m proud of you,” she murmured.

“Why?” The other woman chuckled.

“You’ve come a long way from the woman you were when we first met – the one that barely spoke. I’m proud to call you friend.”

“It’s not only Christopher who helped me become who I am. It’s because of you, too.”

Alabama wrapped her arm around Caroline’s shoulder and I was both jealous and happy for them. I’d never had a friend like Caroline.