Page 14 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

Jaxon opened the door to what looked like it was supposed to be a break room. It was fully kitted out in top-of-the-line appliances and a large dining table. It was a far cry from the low-budget break rooms I was accustomed to.

“This is a little… over the top.” I noted.

“Maybe, but it gets used a lot. Someone is always here. We run twenty-four-seven. There are also times when we get home from being out of the country and we’ll crash here, which means we need to eat. Zane got tired of replacing the cheap shit, so he upgraded,” Jaxon defended.

I guess that made sense. However, I was reminded, yet again, of our economic divide. I’d never worked or lived anywhere with a kitchen this nice.

“Help yourself to whatever you want. Donna keeps it stocked,” he told me.

“You mean the woman Zane is sending Lincoln to fire as we speak?” I informed him, hoping I could appeal to his stomach and have him put a stop to this nonsense.

“Thank fuck. That woman is psychotic. I’m talking straight up crazy.

She’s tried to bag every man on the team, especially Zane.

” I’d heard Zane and Linc say the same thing, but I was too angry at the time to really process what they were talking about.

Hearing Jaxon confirm sent white-hot jealousy all over.

Suddenly I didn’t feel nearly as guilty as I should’ve about the woman losing her job.

“Everyone in the building will be happy she’s gone.

Did Linc say if he was taking Jasmin with him?

She’d want to be there to see the look on Donna’s face.

Donna hates Jasmin. She is so jealous of her she can’t see straight. ”

“Lincoln said he was taking her,” I confirmed.

“It will be funny as hell to watch.”

“That’s kinda mean.”

“You wouldn’t think that if you had to deal with the woman. She tries to hit on every man and hates the women.”

“Well. She doesn’t sound pleasant. But I still don’t want to laugh at someone’s misfortune.”

Even if I was jealous she’d hit on Zane in the past, I had no right to feel that way. He wasn’t mine. He was a man I’d slept with, nothing more. I would’ve never seen him again if he wasn’t tied up with Forester.

“Did he say if he found someone to take her place? What brought on him finally wising up and canning her ass?”

“He’s firing her so I can have a job. He’s being pig-headed and bossy about me quitting Techwatch.”

A huge smile graced Jaxon’s face. What in the hell was wrong with all these people? They smile at the craziest shit. You’d think I told them they’d won the lottery the way they all lit up about Zane’s conniption fit about Forester and me quitting.

“Sit down a minute.” Jaxon pulled out a chair before he went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water.

He set them on the table and sat next to me.

“He’s not trying to be difficult. He’s the first to tell you he’s a dick and has no heart.

But he’s full of shit. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know, and he feels the deepest. He’s protective for a reason and he’s bossy for a reason.

He’s the way he is because he has to be.

All of this,” Jaxon motioned around the room, “is his responsibility. All of us out in the field are his responsibility. And before that, when he was in the Navy, the men under him were his, too. He shoulders more than most, he feels it more than most, and when he loses a man, he takes that on and when he does he never lets it go. So, yes, he is protective. More so since we lost Eric.”

I thought about what Jaxon had told me and felt kind of bitchy for making assumptions about Zane. Now I had some insight as to why he was behaving like a lunatic, but it still didn’t explain why he felt responsible for me.

I left the comment alone about losing Eric.

I didn’t want to pry and ask who that was and even if he ended up telling me, I still wouldn’t have known what to say.

I never did. I always wound up saying something lame like I’m sorry.

As if those words could somehow soothe the pain of losing a loved one.

“I can’t imagine the stress he’s under, but it still doesn’t explain why he’s acting the way he is toward me. I’m a no one.” The door to the break room creaked and Jaxon’s eyes went over my head. I continued to speak though I wish I wouldn’t have. “He shouldn’t be wasting his time on me.”

“What does that mean? Wasting his time?” Jaxon asked.

“Don’t listen to her. Her way of thinking is jacked. Complete bullshit.” I heard Zane’s voice behind me. “Donna’s fired. You can start immediately.”

“God, you’re an ass,” I muttered under my breath. Jaxon heard me and chuckled. Then I stood and faced Zane. “You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want the job. I have a job.”

“Why are you so goddamn stubborn? I’m offering you a job and I’ll double your pay. You said yourself you need the money.”

Why was I being so stubborn ?

“Because it feels a lot like a handout,” I told him.

“You need to get over yourself. I get people have fucked you over. I also understand the woman who donated her eggs to make you has seriously fucked with your head. But not everyone is out to get you.”

“You can’t begin to imagine. How could you?

Look around, Zane, this is all yours. I bet you grew up in a nice big house, in a nice neighborhood with the perfect mom and dad.

You don’t know jack shit what it means to be me.

So please don’t pretend to understand. I might not have much in this life, but I have my pride, and I work for what I get.

I don’t take shit that’s not mine or not earned.

And what’s to say when this weird fascination with keeping me safe ends?

You’ll fire my ass just like you did Donna. ”

Wrong thing to say. How did I know? Zane’s entire being went to stone and the fire-breathing dragon I’d seen earlier was back with a vengeance.

“See, jacked! First, this isn’t some weird fascination.

Second, Donna was a horrible employee. I’ve explained this to you.

She should’ve been fired a long time ago, but we’ve had mission after mission and I’ve been too wrapped up to find a replacement.

I have one, you, so I canned her ass. If it will make you feel better, I’ll show you her last three evaluations and the long list of complaints that my men have made.

You should not feel sorry for that woman.

She’s certifiably crazy. And I’m not offering you money.

You’ll earn your paycheck, just like everyone else I employ.

Unless you’re my brother. He gossips more than he works. He should pay me.”

“Whatever,” I mumbled because I had nothing better to say. Maybe this Donna woman was really as bad as everyone said. I still didn’t want the job.

“Come with me,” Zane demanded, and when I didn’t move he came to me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me behind him.

“Stop doing that.”

“Then follow me when I ask you to.”

“You don’t ask. You command, like I’m a dog. Come. That’s all you say.”

He stopped at the bottom of a staircase and turned to face me fully, invading my space. “You didn’t seem to mind me demanding you come the other night, babe. As a matter of fact, you caught fire and burned so fucking hot I could barely contain it.”

“You’re an ass.” My cheeks heated at his reminder. He was right. I’d never been more turned on in my life. His demands and control while we were in bed had flipped something deep inside of me. Something I’m embarrassed to admit I liked.

“Maybe. But I’m a truthful one.”

He started up the stairs. He pulled, and I followed.

Zane stopped in front of a door and punched in a code before he pushed the door open and pulled me inside.

His office.

It was just as nice as the downstairs, if not nicer.

A big desk dominated the room. It fit him to a T.

Strong and sturdy. There was a built-in bookcase behind the desk, a couch and a coffee table, and finally I noted a credenza that matched his desk with cut crystal decanters on top, amber liquid filling the beautiful pieces.

Way out of my league.

“I grew up in West Virginia,” he started.

“Okay…”

I wasn’t sure where he was going or why he was telling me where he grew up.

“In a single-wide trailer. ”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“Because you have your head up your ass and have a shit ton of misconceptions about me. My mom left my dad when I was young, maybe three. She still to this day refuses to talk about him. I have a few memories of my dad and the house we lived in, but I’m not sure if they’re actual memories or something my mind made up.

We lived in an apartment for a while. She met Lincoln’s dad and got remarried, shortly after she got pregnant and he took off.

Before Linc was born we moved into the trailer park.

It was all she could afford with two kids and no man.

She did the best she could and both Linc and I got jobs when we were old enough to pitch in.

So no, Ivy, I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon and two perfect parents.

I had a single mom that loved her boys and did her best, but she often fell short.

Everything you see I earned with hard work. ”

Well.

I felt like an ass.

“You understand then. I need to make it on my own, too. I want to earn it, like you did.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t have help along the way. I did. And I was smart enough to take it. This life is about give and take, keeping those scales balanced, and making sure you give back more than you take.”

I thought about what he said. I knew he was right, kind of.

Life was about give and take. I’d just never experienced the give without a high price tag connected to it.

And the take part left a bad taste in my mouth, too.

Sarah took and took. She had taken so much from me I didn’t think I had anything left to give, therefore I had no business taking anything from anyone.

I was spent, emotionally drained from years of being told I was a burden.

“I don’t know how to accept kindness,” I admitted .

“You say thank you and prove to the person they made the right decision believing in you.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

I still didn’t think this was a good idea, but I was warming to it.

I thought quitting the job I had was silly and over the top, but Zane truly believed I could be in danger.

It wasn’t like I loved working there. It wasn’t my dream job, the benefits sucked, the pay was crap, and the people who worked there were all pretty much jerks.

It wouldn’t be a hardship to quit but… there was a but , I just couldn’t remember what it was standing in Zane’s office.

“Where’s your dad now?” I asked, curious about the idiot that would abandon such a smart and kind man. Even if he was a bossy asshole, I believed it was done out of kindness, which was probably the most ass-backward thing I’d ever thought.

“It’s a long, complicated, convoluted story.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t. I was going to say, it’s a story best told over drinks. I’ll tell you one day, when time permits.”

I looked around his office again, my eyes stopping on a folded American flag on the bookshelf.

I didn’t know much about the military, but I knew what that flag meant.

I continued my perusal and saw with new appreciation just how ambitious Zane was.

He’d come a long way. I stopped to study the man standing before me.

Muscular arms folded over a big strong chest, his posture was straight, and his face hard.

His eyes were warm and gentle, the way they had been when he’d rolled us to our sides and tucked me close so we could both catch our breath.

It seemed I couldn’t stop thinking about having sex with him.

However, this time, it wasn’t the hot steamy rolling around I was remembering.

It was the tenderness in his face when he’d touched me.

It was a direct contradiction to his gruff tone, dirty words, and rough handling of me.

He’d looked at me like I was precious.

I’d never had that.

He gave it to me then and he was giving it to me now.

The look.

The soft eyes.

He scared the shit out of me.