Page 25 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

Ivy

Something big had changed. Zane was more in control, more commanding - just more.

I couldn’t put my finger on it because he was always bossy, but maybe it was the tone of his voice, the way he demanded I take off my pants or touch myself in front of him that was different. He was more comfortable and confident.

I loved it.

My orgasm had barely waned when he pulled me off and carried me to the bedroom. I hadn’t even thought about protesting. My legs felt like rubber and it felt good to be taken care of, even in the smallest of ways.

He placed me on the bed and started trailing kisses up my thigh. I tried to close my legs, not wanting his mouth where it was headed.

“Don’t,” he said and lightly slapped the outside of my thigh.

“But… Zane…” How did I explain that I’d been in jeans all day and we’d had sex? I didn’t want his mouth there, not until after I had showered.

“I know what you’re thinking. Stop. If there was something wrong with your pussy, I promise you I wouldn’t be putting my mouth on it.” Jesus, that was embarrassing. I wasn’t used to anyone blurting things out the way he did. “Lie still. I want to taste you before I fuck you.”

I did as he said and closed my eyes tightly. The first long swipe of his tongue had me reconsidering my embarrassment. When he added a finger and sucked on my clit, I couldn’t remember why I’d objected.

“You taste so good,” he said before he spread my legs wider and fitted his large form between them.

My hands went to the muscles on his stomach and I traced the outline of the ridges.

“You’re hot,” I told him.

“Pleased you think so.”

“Super fucking hot.”

His smile was so breathtakingly genuine my heart pinched.

“And your dimples. I love seeing them when you smile.”

His smile faded, and I regretted my words.

“There hasn’t been much in my past to smile about, Ivy, so I don’t do it very often.”

His answer wrecked me. The thought of him not being happy, living with the weight of guilt on his shoulders, and not living a carefree life where he has something to smile about every day tore my heart to shreds.

“We’ll change that,” I told him.

He lowered his face to mine and kissed me gently.

I wondered if I’d ever get used to the way he licked the seam of my lips before he pushed his tongue inside.

Or if I’d ever get accustomed to how he stroked his tongue along mine.

God, I hoped not. I always wanted the anticipation of his touch.

He said he wanted me. I wasn’t sure what that meant but I was willing to find out.

I wanted to know what it felt like to belong to Zane Lewis, even if it was for a short while.

I could feel his dick at my entrance and I became impatient, moving my hips, trying to get him to hurry along.

He finally pushed inside of me, never breaking the kiss.

He was slow and methodical; every touch, every thrust, every kiss had a purpose.

He was building us up only to shatter us into a million pieces as desire turned into an intense pleasure.

“Come with me,” he whispered, his voiced laced with emotion.

I didn’t know what had changed Zane’s mind about me or us or wanting to have a relationship, but I was grateful. He was giving me everything I never knew I wanted.

“Baby,” I breathed as heat consumed my body.

“Ivy,” he moaned. He planted himself deep and his dick jerked inside of me as he released. It’s weird to think that the very act I’d always thought was a weapon could bring me so much peace.

“What is it about you that makes me lose my head?” he asked, his face buried in my neck.

I didn’t know how to answer his question so instead I tightened my legs around his waist and moved my hands over his sweat-covered back, loving the way his hard muscles flexed as I touched him.

No, I couldn’t answer him, not when I was wondering the same thing.

I wanted to worship his body and get lost in his promise.

I desperately wanted to believe him, have faith in his strength, trust he was the man he said he was.

Was it possible to push the past away? Could Zane make me forget?

“Where’d you go?” Zane asked. I was so lost in thought I hadn’t noticed he was now staring down at me, concern etched on his handsome face.

“Why me?” I blurted .

That was the question that had plagued my mind.

Why would this big, strong man break his rules for gutter trash like me?

He could have any woman he wanted, someone clean.

Someone without a drug addict for a mother and a life so full of demons they choke me at night.

Most nights I fell asleep wishing I’d never wake up from the nightmare I lived.

“Baby,” he whispered and pushed a lock of matted hair off my face.

He was so fucking sweet. The tough impregnable man he showed the world was sexy and scary and sent me into a fit of lust. But this side?

The soft, sweet man was absolutely irresistible.

I’d do anything for him when he tore his mask away and allowed me to see the real him, the side he kept hidden from the world.

“I’m serious. Look at you. I know women fall over themselves to get you. You could have anyone. A beautiful, smart, clean woman. Someone who had something to offer you. Someone with staying power. A woman who is your equal.”

“Ivy, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I will not tolerate you talking badly about yourself, not even the implication of it. You are all those things – smart, beautiful, clean. But you are also strong, sassy, sexy, resourceful, and independent to name a few. You will never be my equal; the scale will always be tipped in your favor. Your goodness and light will always outshine my darkness.”

I hated he thought he had a dark soul.

“Stop saying that. There is nothing dark about being protective of the ones you love.”

He rolled us to the side, turning me away from him so he was pressed tight against my back. When he started speaking, I hated I couldn’t see his face. Even more, I hated he was hiding from me .

“I am not a good man, babe. Don’t make the mistake of convincing yourself I do the things I do in the name of love.

” His voice was low and menacing and the vibration against my neck sent chills down my arms. “I hunt humans, the worst men this world has to offer, and when I find them, I dispatch them to hell. There’s nothing pretty about it.

Flowery words like honor and sacrifice do not make me any less of a murderer.

The government might sanction it, manmade laws may exonerate me, but nothing can absolve my sins against God’s rules.

They are forever tattooed on my soul, carved into my heart, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to remove them.

Don’t think I wasn’t serious when I told that bitch of a woman I would put a bullet in her head if she ever spoke to you again.

I will, and when I’m done I will walk away with no remorse.

You are the one who needs to decide if you can accept me for the man I am and not excuse my behavior. ”

“I don’t believe you.” Zane flinched, and I quickly continued.

“I don’t believe you’re not a good man. I know you are because you do feel guilt and remorse.

You feel them deep and wear them for anyone to see.

You are not a cold-blooded killer. You sacrifice your own personal well-being so others don’t have to.

You are not dark or condemned. You are blessed with courage and valor; bravery most men don’t possess.

You don’t like hearing me talk bad about myself?

Well, right back at you. I don’t want to hear you say those things again or I might bend you over my knee and paddle your fine ass. ”

His body had relaxed and was now shaking with his laughter.

“Baby, I’d like to see you try.”

“Don’t tempt me, Zane Lewis. I’m stronger than you think. I can figure-four leg lock you and spank you so fast you won’t know what’s happened. I’ve got skills.”

“Skills, huh?”

“Oh, yeah, mad skills,” I teased.

“Do any of those skills involve your mouth?” he asked and kissed the side of my neck, making me forget all about killing and spanking.

“Maybe you should roll over and we’ll find out.” I wiggled my ass against his now-hard dick and a thrill rolled over my body. “And prepare to have your mind blown.”

“It’s not my mind I want blown.”

“Then stop talking and roll over.”

He moved to his back and I crawled over him, straddling his thighs, gazing over the beauty that was Zane. My hands went to his chest and I sucked in a breath when I saw him smile. He was devastatingly handsome when he let go of the perpetual scowl he wore.

“You know, it’s a good thing you don’t smile more,” I mused.

“Why’s that?”

“Because women would follow you home like stray dogs.”

“Luckily, I don’t feed strays.”

I smacked his chest at his answer then leaned down and placed a kiss where I’d playfully hit him.

“You’re mean.”

“You’re sexy as fuck,” he returned.

“Am I?” I kissed his other pec and traveled lower to his six-pack. “You’re not just saying that because I’m about to give you a blowjob that will rock your world, are you?” I licked farther still and his muscles bunched under my mouth .

“Sexy. As. Fuck. Doesn’t matter if you’re fully clothed or riding my dick. You’re just sexy.”

“Well, I think you’re mighty fine, Mr. Lewis.” My mouth had reached just below his belly button where his long thick dick rested on his lower stomach. “And lucky for me, well-endowed, too.”

I pulled the tip into my mouth and sucked hard. His hands came to my head and I stopped.

“Oh, no. Keep your hands to yourself.”

“You’re killing me,” he complained.

“Not yet, I’m not.”

I was giddy with excitement. I was the one in control now and I was going to use it to torture him for as long as he’d let me.

Once his hand fell back to the mattress, I licked down his length, leaving a wet trail of saliva as I went.

Not wanting to leave any part left out, I kissed and lightly nipped his balls before I reversed my direction and made my way back to the tip.

After a few more passes of running my tongue over him, I finally pulled him fully in my mouth, only going half his length before pulling back up.

“Christ, your mouth feels good.”

I didn’t stop to comment; instead, I quickened my pace and added my hand. I continued to only take half of his shaft while my hand caressed him in unison. When my mouth went down, I tightened my grip and stroked him to the base, squeezing before I went back up.

His hands went to my head and I pulled off his dick with a pop.

“Hands on the bed,” I reminded him.

“You have three more minutes of fucking around before I roll you over, pull you to the side of the bed, tilt your head over the edge, and fuck your throat,” he growled.

“So impatient.” I giggled .

He dropped his hands and I decided to put him out of his misery. I licked my lips in anticipation and Zane groaned, dropping his head on the pillow.

“Ivy.” I wasn’t sure if my name was a plea to continue or a demand to hurry things along. Either way, I was ready to make Zane squirm.

I lowered my mouth over his dick and started the slow descent down. Instead of stopping halfway, I continued until the head of his dick bumped the back of my throat. Without pulling up too far, I went back down this time, pushing harder until he slipped past the muscles and slipped into my throat.

“Holy shit, Ivy!” he bellowed.

Yeah. I had him. I was one of the lucky ones that had no gag reflex. I was no expert on sex, but I could give a blowjob.

Over and over I pulled up to the tip and swirled my flattened tongue back down his dick before I swallowed him. The faster I went, the more Zane bucked and writhed.

“I’m gonna come, baby. Pull off if you don’t want it in your mouth.”

Silly man. His announcement had me doubling my efforts until I felt his dick swell and I knew this was it.

With his very large dick lodged in my throat, I hummed and swallowed.

I felt his come tickle my throat and I only had a few seconds before I had to pull up for much-needed oxygen.

Once I felt his orgasm slow, I pulled up, letting the last few jets of his orgasm pool in my mouth before I swallowed one last time and slowly drew off his dick, letting him fall from my mouth.

“Jesus fuck. Holy shit, woman. I’m addicted.”

I smiled at his compliment.

“See. I didn’t kill you.”

“Almost. I thought I was going to pass out when you hummed on my cock and I blew in your throat. I had no idea it could be that good.”

I laid my head on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat under me. I never wanted to leave this place, this bubble of contentment.

“We should shower so I can feed you,” he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“I’m too relaxed,” I told him, and his body stiffened under mine. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking the same thing. I’ve never felt so… at peace in my life.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, baby. I’m just surprised is all.”

“Surprised in a good way?” I still hadn’t lifted my body off of his and if I wasn’t careful, his tender hands caressing my back would lull me to sleep.

“Only you, Ivy. I can’t explain why or how, and I’m smart enough not to question it. But I know someplace deep in my soul there is no one else who could quiet my demons.”

And that was when I fell in love. Not a storybook happily ever after love, but an all-consuming blinding love. He’d melted my soul to his. It didn’t matter what happened in the days, or weeks, or years that would follow. I would forever belong to him.

Long after I walked away, he would still own me.