Page 11 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

Ivy

I shouldn’t be here.

Zane did crazy things to my head. Things that I’d worked a long time to push away.

He made me forget the lesson I’d learned.

He was a wealthy, super-hot guy, and I was… nothing. I didn’t own a home, I rented a shitty apartment because it was close to where I worked, and I could walk.

Why did he bring me back here? I didn’t belong here. I didn’t belong anywhere near him. Last night when I thought I’d never see him again, none of this bothered me. I knew where I stood, a piece of ass he’d picked up for a mutually beneficial night.

And holy shit it was beneficial.

I walked to the bank of windows that overlooked the marina below. It was peaceful way up here, high above the traffic and city bustle. I felt like no one could touch me. I’d never had that. In my twenty-seven years all I’d known was struggle.

“You sure you’re not hungry?” Zane’s voice startled me and I turned .

Holy sweet Jesus. Was there anything this man didn’t look good in?

He was wearing a pair of low-slung athletic pants.

You know the kind, black with the two white lines going down the legs .

But that’s not what had my attention, even though I knew what he was packing under those pants.

What I zeroed in on was the black t-shirt he had on.

It wasn’t meant to be tight, but damn if it wasn’t, and in all the right places, too.

The short sleeves looked like the seams were about to come apart as they strained to contain his biceps.

“Ivy?” he prompted.

“I think I should go home.”

His eyes narrowed, and he asked, “Why?”

“There’s no need for me to be here. And I sleep better in my own bed,” I quickly added. It was a lie. I didn’t sleep well in my tiny apartment with my cheap mattress, but at least I’d have peace of mind knowing a hotter than hell man I’d had a one-night stand with wasn’t in the next room.

Zane ignored me as he walked to a side table in his dining room and poured himself a drink.

He held the glass in my direction, silently asking me if I’d like one.

As much as I’d love some liquid courage, I knew I needed my wits about me or I’d do something stupid like jump the man and beg him to take me to his room until we both were sweaty and tired.

No, I didn’t need a drink.

I needed to get my head straight.

“Why don’t you tell me what you meant about not affording me?” he asked when he sat on his expensive-looking black leather sofa.

“Why don’t we forget I said anything and you take me home?” I returned.

“That’s not gonna happen. ”

“And what would you do if I tried to walk out the door?” I asked.

He leaned back and took a drink before he answered, “I’d stop you.”

“So, you’re holding me against my will. I’m a prisoner.”

Stupidly, that didn’t scare me as much as it should’ve.

“Is that what you think you are? A prisoner?”

“You’re maddening,” I declared. “I don’t understand why this is important to you. I’m no one to you. A woman you fucked. That’s all. It’s a coincidence I work for a man you’re investigating.”

“Worked.”

“What?”

“You worked for him, Ivy. Past tense. You no longer work for the dickweed.”

I was fast losing patience.

“Zane. I need that job. I can’t quit.”

“You need it so you can continue to gather information on Forester.” Shit, he kind of had me there.

I needed the money, too, but mainly I still needed more information before I could nail him.

“Right. So check this, babe, you are done playing Dick Tracy. I have the means and the resources you don’t have.

You’ve been lucky, and he hasn’t caught you.

Which is a damn miracle because you weren’t exactly stealthy.

If he hadn’t been so wrapped up in pussy he would’ve clocked you in two-point-five seconds.

That’s over for you. There is also the added benefit of you not breathing the same air as the scumbag. ”

My head was close to exploding.

“Zane!”

“Why’d you say you can’t afford me?” he repeated.

Goddamn, he wasn’t going to drop it .

“Because I can’t. I assume by your office, your house, your car, and the suit you had on earlier you’re expensive.”

“Don’t bullshit me. I told you, you weren’t paying, and you had some fucked comeback about still not being able to afford me and how no man helps a woman for free. Someone fuck you over?”

Yes.

More than once.

“That’s none of your business.”

“That may be true, but I’m making it my business. Who fucked you over, Ivy?”

I clamped my mouth shut and crossed my arms over my chest.

“An ex-husband? A boyfriend?”

Who hadn’t fucked me over? Not that I had an ex-husband.

“Tell me about your sister.” He changed the subject.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re infuriating and incredibly nosey?”

He contemplated my question before he answered, “I’ve been accused of a lot of things, nosey has never been one.”

“Well, you are.”

“Your sister, Ivy?” he semi repeated.

“What about her? She’s dead. Forester conned her into believing he was going to give her a fairytale and instead he whored her out, made her run drugs, then killed her when he was ready for a new girl to take her place. Not much to tell.”

“You already told me that. Tell me about her .”

“Joey is my stepsister. She and her dad came to live with me and my mom when she was eight. I don’t know what happened to her before she came to live with us, but considering who her father was, I didn’t think any of it was good.

She was hollow – even as a child. I tried to help her, but I was only sixteen and barely surviving myself. ”

“Did he touch you?” Zane growled.

“Her dad? No. No one ever touched me like that.”

“Who’s her dad?”

“Lance Long. His friends, or buyers, whatever you want to call them, called him Double L. Stupid, right?”

“So Lance was a dealer?” Zane continued to ask questions.

“Dealer. User. Both. I only had two years left and tried to stay away from the house as much as possible. By then, my mom was so bad, she didn’t notice where I was or what I was doing.

All she cared about was Lance supplying her with drugs.

Hell, she didn’t even care if the power was on.

As long as she was high, all was right in her world. ”

“Baby.” Zane gentled.

“Don’t. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”

“You are? Is that why you look at me like I’m a piece of shit with some shady motive? I offer you help and protection and the next thing that comes from your pretty little mouth pisses me off so bad, I see red.”

“I didn’t…”

“You did. I get it. It pisses me the fuck off, but I understand. They did you dirty, baby. How else are you supposed to look at me? Just by the little you shared, I take no one has ever offered you anything without their hand out. But check this, Ivy. I’m not them.

Not that you’ll believe me now, but in time you will. ”

In time?

There was no time.

“I like it better when you’re being an ass,” I blurted.

“Why’s that?”

I thought about ignoring him .

But I didn’t. Instead, I gave him my truth.

“Because no one has ever taken the time to understand anything I say or do.”

“That’s fucked.”

“That’s my life.”

“Still fucked.”

“It is what it is. Why would someone take the time?”

“The time has come.”

Oh, no. It was time to change the subject.

“If you’re not gonna let me leave, can I at least go to bed?”

Why was I giving in? I should’ve walked my ass out the door and never looked back.

But I didn’t.

“You want the master or the spare?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“The master bedroom or the spare room?” he spoke slowly.

“Um. Where are you sleeping?”

His face got tight and his forehead pinched.

“Serious as shit, woman. Are you asking what I think you’re asking? I fully understand you’ve been fucked in the past. But I am not another douchebag in what I assume is a long line that’s screwed you.”

“It’s not...” I started, then stopped.

“Come again?”

“It’s not a long line. After my dad abandoned me, not that it was a bad thing, and what my mom did to me, I learned. If the two people who were supposed to love me the most in the world could do what they’d done to me… well… I learned.”

“What’d you learn, baby?”

“Anyone will. ”

“Will what?” He kept at me, not letting the conversation die.

“Will screw me over and toss me aside. Abandon me. Not ever do something without expecting payment. I learned. I learned quick and I learned deep. That shit is so ingrained in me, I never let anyone close to test the theory. So, no, there hasn’t been a long line.

Just two. The two that were supposed to matter. ”

Zane stood a few feet away, his chest heaving, his nostrils flaring.

I was surprised he wasn’t breathing fire.

A dragon. That’s what he looked like - a scary, beautiful, fire-breathing dragon.

I don’t know why I’d told Zane what I had.

I’d never shared my past with anyone. I just kept my distance so the topic never came up.

I’d had relationships in the past, but they were never deep, not on my end.

And I always left them before they could leave me.

The moment I’d sensed my bullshit issues were getting too much for them, I’d split.

It didn’t take a psychologist to figure out why I did it.

Relationships were like everything else in my life, disposable.

I always left.