Page 22 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

Ivy

How did I wind up here?

The question had run through my mind at least a thousand times today.

It had started when I woke up in Zane’s bed this morning, again when we got to work, later when he took me to lunch, and it continued throughout the day.

Every member of the team, including Rena, took my being there in stride.

They’d all pulled me into the fold and I wasn’t sure what to think of it.

Leo told me about his wife, Olivia. Jaxon told me his woman, Violet, would love me.

Garrett told me stories about Eric and his recent death while on a mission in Brazil.

That was when I’d finally realized how dangerous Zane’s job was.

His team didn’t hunt corporate spies; they hunted terrorists.

Zane had told me he was a government paid assassin, but I couldn’t at the time comprehend what that meant.

I’d thought it had been bluster and exaggeration, Zane being over-dramatic to prove a point.

But he wasn’t. He really did hunt and kill bad guys for a living.

Garrett had also informed me Zane took personal responsibility for Eric’s death.

My heart hurt for him. From what little I knew, there was nothing Zane could’ve done to stop Eric from throwing himself on top of a grenade to save the rest of the team, Zane included.

“You ready?” Zane asked, walking into Rena’s office where I was closing down the computer.

“Yep. Did you get the email I sent with the finished timesheets?” I asked, not looking up.

“I did.”

There was something different in his tone and when I looked up, I found him leaning against the doorjamb, watching me with a thoughtful expression.

“Everything alright?” I inquired.

“No.” He walked in and sat in one of the office chairs Rena had positioned in front of her desk.

“Was the report okay?”

“It was fine.” I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. He simply watched me.

“Then what’s the problem? Have you changed your mind about me working here?”

“No. I like having you here.” His forehead wrinkled when he answered, and his brows pinched together like he was uncomfortable with the admission.

“I’m struggling with what to do with Forester. I have enough intel to turn him over to the DEA and let him be their problem.”

“But?”

“I called the detective who handled your sister’s case. They ruled it an overdose and are not willing to reopen the case. Which means if I hand Forester to the DEA it’s over. He’ll get away with killing your sister.”

He cared.

I couldn’t fucking believe my ears. He believed me and cared that Forester had killed my sister. She may have died of an overdose, but it wasn’t self-inflicted or accidental. Forester had administered the dose to get rid of her. I knew he did.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to nail the son-of-a-bitch for preying on the weak and killing Joanna. But the longer he’s free to move around, there’s a chance he’ll run or go to ground completely and we’ll lose him altogether.

This isn’t the Middle East where I have more latitude to maneuver.

There are laws. While I can bend them, there is only so far before they break.

Now there’s the added complication of your mother. ”

“Have you found her?”

“No. She’s a ghost. She left Forester’s house and we haven’t been able to track her since. I don’t have cameras on his street, an oversight on my part that has been rectified.”

It sounded like he was spending more money and using resources that could be better spent somewhere else. Like for his paying clients.

“Maybe she went home to Florida. Listen, I appreciate all you’ve done and what you’re willing to do, but maybe you should just hand him over to the DEA.

I don’t want to take time away from your clients that pay the bills.

I saw today how many hours the team has put into Forester.

Now that Techwatch isn’t paying, you should turn him in.

He’ll have to answer to the corporate charges and for the drugs. That’s something, right?”

“Do not start, Ivy,” he warned.

“I’m not. Just… something is better than nothing. I don’t want to cost you…”

“Woman!”

“Woman?” I huffed. “Don’t woman me, Zane. I’m being realistic here. You’re running a business, not a charity.”

“Charity? What the fuck? ”

What was his problem now? It seemed I pissed the man off more than I did anything else.

“An investigation into Joey’s death is going to cost a mint.

I don’t want those resources used when you have a long list of people willing to pay you large amounts of money to work for them.

It’s stupid. I know he killed her; that should be enough for me.

The fact the DEA is going to find drugs will put him behind bars. That’s all I wanted - him in prison.”

“No, it’s not,” Zane said and stood. “You didn’t want him in prison. You wanted him to pay for taking your sister’s life. And that is exactly what’s going to happen.”

I wanted to disagree and yell at him for once again telling me how I felt, but he was right. I wanted Forester to pay for killing Joey.

“Come on. We have to stop by the grocery store before we go home,” he said.

Home.

He had called his penthouse home with regard to the two of us going there multiple times.

Each time he said it, I got butterflies in my stomach.

It meant nothing, it was a turn of phrase, but stupidly I liked hearing it.

I’d never really had a home. When I was younger, we moved a lot.

When the eviction notice inevitably came, we’d leave and find another shithole place to stay awhile before it started all over again.

I’ve never known stability and permanency.

Hell, even when I left my mother’s house I still moved around; I’d never felt settled anywhere – until Zane.

I felt protected and relaxed in his home.

Maybe it was because it was high above the city.

I was untouchable way up there. Maybe it was because I knew he was there and he’d never allow anything to breach his walls.

Maybe I was simply fooling myself into believing I was feeling things I wasn’t .

“You ready?” He brought my attention back to him.

“Yeah. Did you tell Linc we were passing on his dinner invitation?”

“I did,” he confirmed.

“Did you tell him nicely?” Zane lifted one perfect eyebrow in answer. “Right.” I laughed and grabbed my purse and followed him to the door.

He called out his goodbyes and by the time we’d reached his car I’d come to my senses.

I was behaving like a woman who had something to offer a man; one that had the luxury of frivolous dreams and hopes.

I wasn’t that woman and Zane was too good for me.

Sex and protection was what was on the table.

That was all I could afford. I’d take it until Zane got tired of the game he was playing, then I’d move on.

I always did.

We were loading up the back of Zane’s Range Rover after a grocery shopping experience I never wanted to repeat when Zane pushed me between the open back hatch of the truck and his body.

I was already irritated after the lectures I’d received anytime I placed something unhealthy into the cart.

Now he was manhandling me, and I wasn’t happy.

“Stop doing that,” I complained and tried to maneuver away from him.

“Ivy.” I heard the raspy voice of a woman who’d smoked too much over her life. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Not now. Please, Lord above, not in front of Zane.

“Mother.” I turned in Zane’s arms to face the woman who’d given birth to me but not much more. “Now’s not a good time. May we speak later?”

“May we speak later,” she mocked. “There you go, always trying to be too big for your britches, like you’re some smart girl better than everyone else.”

I felt Zane move and grabbed his forearm to stop him. If Sarah wanted to have it out with me in the parking lot of the grocery store, it was better to let her do it. Trying to make her leave would only cause a bigger scene.

“Well, you found me. What do you need?” I asked.

“I need you to take your nosey ass and leave Forester alone. You’ve gone too far getting your new rich boyfriend involved.”

“Forester? Why were you at Forester’s house? You need to stay away from him. He’s bad news, mom. He killed Joey.”

“He didn’t kill her. She got greedy and started using more than she ought to have. You know Joey, she could never get enough.”

“What?”

“Listen, Ivy, you’ve always had a stick up your ass ruining every good thing that came my way. Always talking stupid shit about calling CPS or the fucking police. But I’m not gonna let you take this from me. I can’t have you fuck this up. So mind your own business for once and butt the fuck out.”

“Fuck what up?” Zane asked, his lip curling in disgust.

“None of your goddamned business either. I’m sure Ivy’s given up the pussy enough to convince you she’s not the trash she really is.

Looking at you with your fancy car and nice clothes, you probably think you can wash the stink off my daughter, but you can’t.

Once you get bored, you’ll throw her away.

She can’t afford a man like you. Men like you are nothing more than a meal ticket for whores like us. ”

It was one thing to disrespect me; it was something else entirely for her to spit her venom at Zane. He was a good man and didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that .

“That’s enough. You can call me whatever you want. But do not speak to him like that.”

“Silly girl. You’ve learned nothing. Always living with your head in the clouds.

He doesn’t give a shit what I say to him or what I think of him because he knows that we’re trash, and when he walks away from you, he won’t even remember this conversation except to be happy he scraped you off.

I don’t care who you fuck or what you do, never really have.

But if you keep poking your nose in shit that’s not your concern, you’ll end up like Joey. Dead.”

“You’re done,” Zane demanded.

“Fuck off. I’m talking to my daughter,” Sarah, never to be outdone, shouted.

“The hell you are. You’re speaking to my woman.

And the only reason I let it go on this long is because I wanted to see what role you play in Forester’s operation.

I see you’re neck deep in it. So, I’ll give you a message to pass along.

Tell Forester he’s fucked. And word of advice, to both of you, either of you even breathe in Ivy’s direction again I’ll kill you. ”

“You’re threatening me?” Sarah asked.

“Goddamn right I am. Woman, you’re jacked.

I don’t know what happened to you in your miserable life to make you so goddamn fucked up, but you are so jealous of your daughter’s beauty you can’t see straight.

She, by some miracle, has everything you wish you had.

You see her and call her trash because you cannot live with the knowledge she escaped you.

There was nothing more you could’ve done to her and you still couldn’t break her.

You can’t stand she’s strong and you’re nothing more than a sad, weak, piece of shit.

You said you didn’t care what Ivy did with her life.

Perfect. Check this, bitch, she no longer exists for you.

The next time I see you, it will be to put a bullet in your head. We clear?”

“You’re joking!”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“You threatened to kill me.”

“You wouldn’t be the first and you won’t be the last. What you will be is six feet under if you look at Ivy again.”

“You’re gonna let him speak to your mama that way?” Sarah asked me.

I admit, I was struggling the tiniest bit with Zane threatening to shoot my mother in the head. I was more than a little afraid he was serious. But then I remembered.

“You remember when you let Lance smack me around because I flushed a baggy of cocaine down the toilet? You remember after I pulled Joey out of a dealer’s house and he came banging on the front door and you let him into my room when he said he was getting his money’s worth and was going to rape me?

And my personal favorite, the time you needed money and you were too fucked up to leave the house and you asked me to take a couple of Johns for you? ”

“What does that have to do with anything? You are always bringing up the past like it matters.”

“It matters, and it has everything to do with everything. I’ve tried to help you.

I’ve tried to get you clean. I tried with Joey.

I’ve tried so many fucking times I can’t count.

I’m done. Leave me alone. You’ve hated me my whole life.

All I’ve ever done was try to love you. You’ve done this to yourself.

I can’t protect you from Zane and if I could, I still wouldn’t. ”

“You’re an ungrateful bitch. I’ve kept Forester away from you. You’re the one he wanted but I gave him Joey instead. She was stronger than you. She could take it. Now, I wish I would’ve let him take both of you. At least you would’ve learned your place. ”

Before I could ask her what she meant, she was walking away. Zane had his phone out and was speaking but I couldn’t hear a thing he was saying over the words I was replaying in my mind.

You’re the one he wanted.