Page 18 of Recovering Ivy (Red Team #4)

“Baby. I tried to warn you. You wanted to push and throw your sexy attitude. You want to know what my kink is?” She shook her head and it fell to the side, giving me access to her neck and collarbone.

I bit back a groan and forced myself not to suck and bite the creamy flesh.

“This right here is my kink. You breathless. Eager. Anticipating my touch.” I removed my right hand from the wall and grazed my thumb over her puckered nipple.

She moaned and arched into my touch. “You hot, wet, and ready to catch fire. I want you trembling with need.” I stopped my gentle trace of her nipple and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger.

“I don’t need to tie you to my bed, or cuff you, or even bend you over my knee and pinken that lovely ass to control you.

” I gave her nipple a pinch. “The ache in your pussy will be enough. You’ll surrender because your body won’t allow anything else. ”

Her tits rose and fell with her rapid breathing and once again, I yearned to be a man worthy of this woman’s affection and loyalty.

But I wasn’t.

I released her nipple and stepped away from Ivy.

“Why are you stopping?” she whispered.

“For a variety of reasons. The most important one is your perception of people, men specifically. I won’t be the asshat that proves you right.”

“What does that even mean?” She looked at me with pleading eyes, and I was finding I was almost powerless against this woman. It was…disconcerting.

“Let me get some clothes on and I’ll take you to bed.” A smile formed on her pretty face. “To sleep.”

“Why won’t you explain?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. Ivy, I’m not the man for you. I’m not the man for anyone. If you think you have issues from your childhood, they don’t hold a candle to how fucked up my head is.”

“What does that mean?” she asked.

Fuck. My. Life. That seemed to be the new revolving theme of my life.

“Drop it, Ivy. Let’s get you to bed.” It wasn’t lost on me I was standing in front of her having a conversation I wanted no part of with my dick swinging in the wind. Still rock hard, I might add.

“I don’t want to drop it, Zane ,” she mocked. “Tell me what you meant about proving me right. Then move on to why you think your head is fucked up.”

Why the hell wouldn’t she let it drop? No good could come from us talking. This was the exact reason I had a no breakfast rule. Women couldn’t stop themselves from wanting to talk, ask questions, dig into a man’s personal life, and try to fix him. I had news for her; I was not fixable.

We stood staring at each other, both of us stubborn and unmoving. Her gaze drifted south and with her eyes glued to my cock she asked, “Do you not want to fuck me?”

“Oh, I want to fuck you alright. Fuck the hell out of you, actually. Until you’re too exhausted to ask any more annoying questions.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m not touching you,” I told her.

“Why?” she pushed.

“Because I have no doubt if I fuck you, you’ll twist it around in your head and by the next morning you’ll use it to condemn me.

You’ll think the only reason I’m offering you my help is so I can fuck you.

So, no, Ivy, I won’t be that guy, the one who proves that any offer of kindness comes with a cost. My protection is free and my cock is not for sale. I don’t barter with sex.”

“And the fucked up in the head part?”

“Christ, woman. Leave it!”

“No, Zane. Tell me.”

“Goddamn, you’re pushy.”

“So I’ve been told.” She threw my words back at me. “Tell me!”

She’d finally pushed me to my limit, and I let my temper get the best of me.

“Do you have any idea what I do for a living?” She shook her head and I continued.

“I’m a paid assassin. Any idea what that means?

” She shook her head again. “I get paid ungodly amounts of money to kill people. You wanna know how I afford the fancy office, the cars, motorcycles, penthouse? All with the money I earn killing. Everything you see was bought and paid for with blood money. The blood of the enemy and the blood of good men who have died while by my side in battle. All of this, Ivy, is dirty. My soul has more hash marks on it than I care to explain. I’ve tortured men for information.

I’ve beaten, stabbed, and shot more enemy combatants than I can remember.

There is no atonement for a man like me.

There’s no redemption or penitence I can pay to salvage my humanity.

” I waited for her to open her eyes before I continued.

“Do you really want a man like me to touch you? I don’t deserve an ounce of what you have to offer. ”

The next thing I knew, Ivy had launched herself at me, forcing me to catch her as her legs wrapped around my waist. I stumbled back from the impact and the back of my legs touched the bed.

Her lips were on mine in a brutal kiss and any protest died in my throat.

Her tongue swept my lips and pushed in my mouth.

Without any thought of the repercussions, I took over.

My hands on her ass, I squeezed and kneaded the firm muscle under my palms. The material of her tank top was being pulled up and she broke the kiss long enough to tug it over her head and toss it aside.

Before I could resume the kiss, she whispered against my mouth, “Fuck me.”

In a moment of extreme arousal and shock, I stood motionless. Ivy rocked forward, her weight causing me to fall back onto the bed, her hands pawed at my chest, her nails scraping my skin like ten tiny sharp knives. The pain pulled me from my fog. I had to stop this. She wasn’t thinking straight .

“Stop, Ivy. This isn’t what you want,” I told her.

“Don’t tell me what I want. I know what I want, and you want it, too. You’re just too fucking stubborn to take it. I’m offering myself to you. Don’t let some stupid assumption deny us both what we need.”

She needed me like she needed a hole in the head. In the end, I would only hurt her.

“I’m not the forever type of man,” I warned.

“That’s great. I don’t believe in forever. I want right now. I want you to fuck me until I forget every jacked up thing in my life. I want to feel this – just you and me. Nothing else.”

Her hand snaked between us and she slowly stroked my cock. My head fell back against the bed as her small, soft hand worked its magic.

“Fuck, baby.” I was going to give in. I was too damn pathetic when it came to her. I very easily could’ve set her off me and put a stop to the madness, only with her hand on my cock I couldn’t think of a single reason this was a bad idea.

“Please fuck me,” she begged.

She hovered over me, my cock in her hand, her pussy mere inches above it, and all rational thought flew out the window.

“Ride me,” I demanded.

Ivy pushed the loose-fitting shorts to the side and guided me to her opening. The first touch was glorious. The head of my cock met the silky wetness of her pussy and it sent waves of excitement through my body. She sank down and liquid heat wrapped around my cock.

“Zane,” she moaned.

I opened my eyes and the sight before me was almost too much.

Her pretty face was flush, her big, full tits on display, nipples hard, soft belly, and finally I locked on to where my cock was disappearing into her body.

Albeit it was partially obscured, however, I’d never, not once, in all the times I’d had sex, reveled in the connection.

But with Ivy, I took great pleasure watching her glide up and down, leaving a trail of her excitement on my bare cock.

Fuck.

“Condom, baby.”

Never a good afterthought to have. No woman had ever made me lose my head and forget a condom. Not even when I was a teenager.

“Birth control,” she moaned on a downslide.

She swiveled her hips before she pulled back up to the tip.

Fuck.

Now was not the time to talk about medical history. I knew I was clean, and despite how I’d met Ivy, I didn’t think she made a habit of going home with men.

“Lean down,” I demanded. “I want your tits on my face while you ride me.”

She leaned forward, and my mouth latched on to her right nipple while my hands moved to her ass. It didn’t take her long to get me to the point of exploding.

“Fuck me, baby.” She obliged and rode me harder.

“You feel so fucking good I’m gonna come.

” I moved to her left nipple and tightened my ass, thrusting up every time she sank down.

Holy fuck, I was going to blow any second.

She felt too good. Her tits in my face, my hands on her ass, and her tight pussy squeezing my cock like a fist was too much.

Not to mention without the barrier between us I could feel everything.

She slid down and I held her still, balls deep inside of her. I rocked her hips, grinding her clit on my pelvis.

“Zane,” she panted .

“That’s it. Come with me.” I pushed up and her internal muscles tightened. “Fuck, Ivy. Hurry, baby. You feel so fucking good I can’t stop it.” I pulled back and thrust up. “Come with me. Now!”

I let go. My balls tightened painfully before come shot out of my cock so hard and so fast my vision blurred. I felt Ivy contract around me before she moaned her release.

“Holy… fuck… Zane.”

Ivy collapsed forward, giving me her weight. Her tits were sandwiched between us, her head rested on my shoulder, and her face was in the crook of my neck. We laid there in silence, both of us trying to recover and catch our breath.

That’s when I felt it.

Something so small it was huge.

Feather light kisses on my neck.

I didn’t dare move. I didn’t know if I wanted to push her off or hold her close.

These kisses weren’t in the height of passion or in the throes of ecstasy.

They were sweet and soft, loving and gentle.

The longer I stayed still, the more I realized I was in big fucking trouble.

Not only did I not want her to stop, I wanted more.

I was playing a dangerous game. I had no right to take whatever this was from her. However, like everything else with Ivy, I was too weak to stop it.

I took and took from her. Her soothing touch. Her gentle kisses. Most of all, I took the peace I felt with her in my arms and I locked it down deep inside.

I was fucked.