Page 61 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

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Rabin bowed to the queen of Gi’ana as more tears welled in her eyes. When she’d asked if he was Daragaab’s former commander he had no idea how she might react. He’d spent years fighting her armies and claiming their land at his queen’s behest.

But maybe that was all in the past.

Because she’d just welcomed him into her family, and it was everything he could do not to break down. Asha watched her children with such love that he felt his heart twist.

Eventually, she grew tired, and it was time to let her rest. Advika, Talin, and Miraan all hugged her tightly and they promised to have dinner together when she was feeling better. Kabir dropped to a knee and took her hand to kiss the back before pressing his forehead against it.

Rabin remembered Miraan saying Asha and Kabir had never loved one another, but it was obvious something existed between them. They were good friends at least. “We’re all so happy you’re home,” he said.

She ran her hand down the side of his face. “I never thought I’d see any of you again.”

Rabin wrapped an arm around Zarya, and she turned and buried her face in his chest. He didn’t deserve this. He was shocked Zarya was still speaking to him after everything he’d done. He was putting on a front because she didn’t deserve his anger, but inside, he was churning with rage about how much he’d fucked up.

His hand cupped the back of her head, and finally, the healers insisted everyone leave to allow Asha some sleep.

“Stay with me,” Asha said, holding her hand out to Row. “Please.”

They all watched Row as he blinked and inhaled deeply. He looked like an entirely different man already. Rabin couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must feel like to have this second chance.

“Of course,” Row said, sinking down next to her. He tentatively wrapped his arms around Asha and kissed her temple as if afraid she might shatter under his touch.

Then Zarya and Rabin followed the others out with their hands clasped. Zarya stopped and peered over her shoulder one more time, and Rabin glanced back to witness Row and Asha hugging as they sobbed against one another.

Zarya turned to look at Rabin with a smile on her face. They were getting the second chance she’d wanted.

“I’m so happy,” she whispered. After they left the room, Zarya added, “I know we almost died in Andhera, but if we hadn’t gone to see the king, we might never have found her.”

Her expression bordered on hopeful.

Possibly, but he still couldn’t forgive himself for what he’d done.

“Let’s go back to bed,” he said, taking her hand again. “You need rest, too.”

“Rabin,” someone called behind them a moment later. He stopped in his tracks, recognizing Ekaja’s voice. Her rapid footsteps approached, and he spun around to face her.

“Can we talk?” she asked. “I’d like a chance to speak with you alone.”

Dark circles ringed her eyes, and her normally straight posture was curving in on itself.

“Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Zarya,” he answered, his hand tightening around hers.

Ekaja dipped her chin. “Very well. I wanted to speak with her, anyway. Is there somewhere private we can talk?”

“Our room,” Zarya said, looking up at him for confirmation.

He nodded and headed down the corridor, tugging Zarya along. At the sound of Ekaja’s sharp footsteps, it took everything in him not to look back. Her betrayal was one of the worst hurts he’d ever known.

Finally, they reached the room where Zarya and Rabin had been recovering for the past week. Their single beds had been removed, and now they shared a large one against the far wall. Zarya fell asleep against him every night while he stared at her beautiful sleeping face, hating himself for nearly getting her killed.

Zarya sat beside Rabin on a divan under the window while Ekaja took the armchair across from them. Rabin said nothing, waiting for her to start.

Ekaja swallowed nervously and rubbed her palms on her thighs.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I made a huge mistake. I let him talk me into it. I truly didn’t believe he would hurt you.”

Rabin exhaled a derisive breath. “What did he share with you? How much did you know?”

“That…he was sending you into Taaranas. That he would use Zarya to break the seal.”

“And you didn’t think any of that might hurt us?”

Ekaja stared at him, her lip quivering as a single tear slid down her cheek. He’d never seen her cry before. Until this moment, he didn’t even think she was capable of it.

“I made a mistake,” she said softly. “One I will regret for the rest of my life. You have every right to be furious, but I only hope that someday you might find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Rabin’s jaw ticked. It was obvious she was feeling a lot right now. She was sorry, and she’d been right that Abishek would have found someone else if she’d been unwilling to help. Still, it didn’t mean he was ready to forgive her yet.

“I’m not sure if I can,” he said. “I’ll need time to think about it.”

She nodded as another tear tracked down her cheek. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I tried to talk him out of it. That’s why he made me ride with you in the carriage… he was punishing me.”

Rabin braced his elbows on his knees, considering that information. They were all silent as his thoughts tumbled with memories of Ekaja and the moments they’d shared. She’d been his rock when it felt like his world was falling apart, and he knew he would miss having her in his life.

“You said you wanted to speak to me as well,” Zarya asked after a few moments.

Ekaja sniffed and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “The king is dead, and you are his heir. Andhera is now yours. When will you return home to take your crown?”

Zarya blinked. Rabin could tell from her expression that this hadn’t occurred to her yet. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to return to Andhera, but if that’s what she desired, he would follow.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want that. I never wanted that.”

“Then who will lead?” Ekaja asked, a worried groove forming between her brows. “The king’s death means the nobles are already maneuvering to take Andhera from you. They will succeed if you don’t return to claim what is yours.”

Zarya looked at Rabin and studied him before turning back to Ekaja. “I have no desire to return to Andhera ever again. My father nearly killed me, and he kept my mother locked up for decades. It holds only dark memories for me.”

“You could make new ones,” Ekaja insisted. “It’s your home. Andhera is your blood.”

“He wouldn’t have wanted that,” Zarya said. “Maybe…” She shook her head. “I never wanted to be a queen. I want a different story for my life, nor can I expect Rabin to return.”

She reached out and took his hand. He covered it with hers and smiled softly, grateful that she knew him so well.

“I want you to do it,” Zarya said. “It was my understanding that if my father died without an heir, you were to take up his position.”

“I couldn’t,” Ekaja said, shaking her head.

“But you will,” Zarya said. “Don’t worry—it will be only temporary.”

Rabin frowned, wondering where Zarya was going with this.

Ekaja appeared equally confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s time for a different kind of future. One where every citizen is represented. I want you to create a place where the Taara Aazheri have rights and a say in how Andhera is run. I want the nobles to share what they have with those who barely survive the winter. Seek out Dav and Suria at the inn. This was their vision, and they are more than capable of helping you.”

Ekaja’s mouth opened in stunned shock. “I couldn’t. I wouldn’t know how.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Zarya said. “You are strong and smart. Brave. And I suspect kind, as well.”

“I—” Ekaja started to protest when Zarya raised a hand.

“It’s the least you owe me,” she said matter-of-factly, and Ekaja snapped her mouth shut. “I will never return, but I need to know the people my father left behind are in good hands.”

Ekaja exhaled a sharp breath and then dropped her head. “I will do my best.” Then she slowly stood as her gaze swept over Rabin. “Will I see you again?” she asked.

Rabin breathed out a heavy sigh. They’d shared so much over twenty years. She’d been there for him when no one else was. He understood better than anyone what it was like to fall under Abishek’s spell.

Slowly, he nodded. “Maybe…”

She exhaled a soft breath. “Thank you.”

Then she turned around and stalked out of the room.

When she was gone, Zarya laid a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

She glanced at the closed door. “Do you think what I made her do is unfair?”

“Not at all,” he answered.

“Do you think she can do it?”

He exhaled a laugh. “If anyone can, it’s her.”

Zarya pressed her lips together. “I can’t go back.”

“Neither can I.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I figured as much.”

“Andhera isn’t your responsibility, Zarya. You have no obligation to become its queen.”

She nodded. “Then I hope she succeeds.”

“I do, too,” he answered, truly meaning it and hoping that someday Ekaja could find the peace and the life she deserved.

Yasen stood in the solarium of Ishaan’s palace, staring out over Rahajhan and towards his home. Former home.

They were preparing to leave for Daragaab tomorrow. He didn’t especially want to return, but after what they’d seen in Taaranas, they had to check on Amrita and Vikram. Tarin had sent a letter claiming they’d both fully recovered, and Amrita was due to give birth any day.

With any luck, they’d get a chance to see the baby, too. He liked the idea of being an uncle.

“Yas,” came a voice, and he turned around to find Miraan standing in the doorway.

Yasen had been waiting for this and knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer.

“You’ve been hiding from me,” Miraan said as he approached. There was no accusation in his voice, only a touch of hurt.

“I haven’t,” Yasen said, though his lie was obvious.

“Where have you been sleeping?”

Yasen pressed his mouth together. “First, in Zarya and Rabin’s room while they were recovering. But when they were feeling better, they kicked me out.” He pulled a face, and Miraan laughed.

“And after that?”

“I found an empty bed.”

Miraan nodded. “I scared you. That’s why you’re avoiding me.”

Yasen blew out a breath and ran a hand down his face. “You did, but it’s not because…” He broke off. “It’s not because I don’t feel the same.”

The words hung between them, and a spark of joy flared in Miraan’s eyes, there for a moment and then gone.

“Then what is it?”

Yasen waved a hand up and down. “You’re literally a king now. I am nobody.”

“You are not nobody, Yasen Varghese. Why would you say that?”

Yasen made a sound of disbelief. “Compared to you, I am. You can’t be with me. You need to be with some rich noble.”

Miraan’s jaw turned hard, and he stepped closer, cupping Yasen’s face in his hands. “You are not nobody. You are worth a thousand rich nobles. Do you hear me?”

Yasen blinked, emotion pressing at the back of his throat. The way Miraan said it with such steadfast conviction almost made him believe it.

Miraan released him and stepped back as he smoothed down the front of his jacket. “Just promise you won’t leave. Stay with me, and let’s try this.”

“You might break my heart,” Yasen said, his voice raw with an emotion he’d never felt before. It was probably the most vulnerable thing he’d ever said out loud.

Miraan’s forehead creased. “I vow to do everything in my power not to.”

Slowly, Yasen nodded.

“Besides, it may be you who breaks mine,” Miraan said. “But I need you to understand that it would be worth the risk.”

Yasen exhaled a long sigh. Was he brave enough for this?

“Yeah, me too,” he finally said with a nod.

“Then you’ll stay?” Miraan asked, hope in his voice.

“I’ll stay.”

He smiled at the prince—not a prince, a king.

Miraan tugged his forehead towards his. They stood in the sunlit solarium as the sun beat through the windows and warmed his skin.

Yasen had always been a coward when it came to his heart. The only two people he’d ever truly loved were Vikram and Zarya. But maybe he deserved more than that.

He pulled up to look into Miraan’s dark eyes, reflecting with a possibility of a thousand things.

Maybe Yasen was ready for this.

Maybe he couldn’t wait to find out.