Page 12 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

ELEVEN

Two nights later, Zarya had another dream about her mother. She woke up covered in sweat, her breath sawing out of her chest and her heart pounding through her ribs.

She sat up and stared around her dark room, feeling lonely and vulnerable, so she threw off her blanket and crossed the hall, flinging open Rabin’s door. He was sitting in bed staring at the fire, a glass of liquor clutched in his hand. At her entrance, he looked over. The last few days, he hadn’t been himself. Ever since they’d arrived, he’d been different. He was tense and broody, even more so than usual.

She didn’t want to say it out loud, but she worried their tainted Bandhan was already starting to affect him.

“Are you okay?” they both asked together.

“I had a nightmare,” she said. “And I needed you.”

His eyes brightened as he reached out a hand. She crossed the room and took it, climbing onto the bed before leaning against him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

She opened her mouth and closed it before saying, “It’s my mother.”

He tipped her chin up. “What about her?”

She shared everything about her dream as his expression grew more and more concerned. When she was finished, he wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I can see why that rattled you.”

She nodded against his chest as he squeezed her tighter.

“I want to stay with you tonight,” she whispered, and she felt him nod. “I know you’re worried about the king…”

“Just try to leave me, Spitfire.”

She exhaled a sigh of relief and snuggled up against him before falling asleep in his arms.

When Zarya awoke, it was still early, with the sun sitting below the horizon. She decided to return to her room to maintain the facade of their platonic relationship. Rabin still wanted to keep this from Abishek, and she’d respect his wish until he was ready.

Rabin was still asleep, so she leaned over and kissed him softly, noting the dark circles under his eyes. Something was definitely wrong. She stared at him with her heart twisting into knots. What would she do without him?

Finally, she dragged herself out of bed and tiptoed back to her room.

After she’d dressed, Urvi arrived with breakfast and a note from the king.

Kishore had been delayed another two days.

As Zarya stared at the king’s writing, she tried not to panic about Rabin or Ishaan. Miraan wouldn’t be placated much longer, particularly with reports about the Jadugara snatching up Taara Aazheri and attempting to re-collar them. No one knew if they’d been successful yet, but they were hell-bent on punishing anyone who’d escaped their barbaric enchantments.

Determined to find out how much longer they’d be waiting, she went to find the king, but his manservant Omar informed her that he wasn’t currently available. In a huff of frustration, she returned to Rabin’s room, where she found him lying on the sofa, his eyes closed and his skin pale with a sheen of sweat.

She stopped and watched him, another flare of dread swelling in her gut. She walked over and laid a hand on his forehead as his lids fluttered open.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and he nodded.

“I’m fine. What’s going on?”

“Kishore’s been delayed again.”

Rabin met her gaze. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I went to find the king, but he’s busy.”

Rabin’s eyes slid closed as he inhaled a short breath to stave off a wave of pain.

“Rabin? What’s wrong ?”

“Nothing,” he said, pushing himself up. “Are you heading down to see Dav and Suria soon?”

She nodded as she resisted the urge to argue with him. It was the day she’d agreed to return to free any vanshaj they could gather.

“I’ll come with you.” He pushed himself up.

“You should rest,” she said, and he pinned her with a glare that told her he had no intentions of letting her visit the city alone.

“I’m fine, and I’m coming.”

He wasn’t fine, but she let it lie. He was as stubborn as a mule, but she also suspected he was in denial about his condition.

They entered the city and headed to the inn to find Dav and Suria, who had rounded up several other vanshaj who made up their fledgling resistance.

After Zarya broke their collars, they thanked her profusely, and she urged them to keep it hidden. With Abishek’s continued reluctance, she couldn’t predict his reaction. There was no doubt that going behind his back would cause more problems than it solved, but she couldn’t sit idle if there were vanshaj willing to seek out her help.

The Jadugara did not make a home in Andhera, which meant they wouldn’t be subject to their scrutiny. She’d been informed they only visited a few times a year, towing “fresh” vanshaj in their wake and offering them up for sale to the nobility. Those who weren’t chosen were simply abandoned here to fend for themselves. The more Zarya heard about the Jadugara, the more she wanted to disembowel every single one personally.

When they were done at Dav and Suria’s inn, Zarya and Rabin passed through the city again.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, clinging to his arm.

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m…I have a headache.”

She peered up at him and pressed her lips together as he pulled his hand away.

“I don’t want you to worry,” he said. “Kishore will return soon, and we’ll fix this.”

“I am worried. I can’t not be worried.”

He didn’t respond, his jaw hard as he surveyed their surroundings.

“Let’s just try and help as many as possible while we’re here,” he said. “That’s better than focusing on something we can’t change right now.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a pleading look. Blowing out a breath, she rolled her lips together. She hated this. The uncertainty was already eating her alive. But maybe he was right, and using their time to do something productive made more sense.

But as they passed through the city, even that idea seemed futile given the sheer number of vanshaj everywhere she looked. It reminded her that no matter what happened, she was still vastly unprepared to deal with the scale of this movement.

No matter how fast she worked, it would take years to accomplish complete and total freedom—and that was if they received approval from Rahajhan’s rulers. Otherwise, it would take decades trying to operate in secret.

As they continued walking, she eyed the grand houses perched on the cliff, wondering if she could appeal to someone else with power and influence.

Again, Rabin rubbed his temple and let out a sigh.

“Why don’t you lie down?” she asked.

He looked at her, and she could tell he was about to argue.

“Please?”

He blew out another breath and then nodded before they returned to the castle. Zarya forced him into bed, and it must have been a measure of how he was feeling because he didn’t even argue.

Once she was certain he’d stay put, she left him to rest while she headed for the library. After she arrived, she stopped to stare around the room, sensing the king’s presence despite his absence. On the days he joined her, they talked about everything—books, music, and history. He had so much to offer, and ever so slowly, she could feel her guard crumbling.

This man was her father. He wasn’t perfect, but she could see a future where they might exist as a family. Row would always be her father in a way that Abishek could never claim, but she had more than enough love in her heart for both.

Once upon a time, Zarya believed no one wanted or loved her, but now she was surrounded by people who cared for her. The thought elicited a warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest that she clung to with all of her hopes.

The air was still and quiet, and this place was becoming like a second home. She inhaled the scent of paper and dust as a sense of calm settled into her bones.

After a few hours of reading, a sound drew her attention to the door. Rabin and Ekaja entered. He had a bit more flush to his cheeks, and a tiny knot of relief eased in her chest. Maybe this was nothing, and he was just coming down with something. Except rakshasa immunity was adept at fighting off the sorts of illnesses that plagued humans and even Aazheri from time to time.

“Found anything?” Rabin asked as he dropped into the seat next to her while Ekaja propped her elbow on a nearby shelf.

Zarya had been informed that Ekaja knew about her visions. Apparently, there wasn’t much Abishek didn’t share with his commander, and she was a bit irritated that the king hadn’t asked her permission first. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the woman, but she also knew very little about her.

“Not really,” Zarya said. “Certainly, lots about past lives and reincarnated souls, but anything I come across doesn’t sound right. Mine don’t feel like memories in the same way. There’s no distance. It feels like those things happened to me and not whoever I was before.”

Rabin and Ekaja shared concerned looks as Zarya slapped a thick book shut, generating a cloud of dust. Her lungs were probably filled with it at this point. She waved her hand with a cough. Abishek clearly loved his library, but he was selective about who he allowed past the door, including the cleaning staff.

A second later, the door to the library opened again. One of the usual sentries bowed before admitting Urvi. She crossed the room, clutching a note in her hands. “Sorry to interrupt, but the king asked that I give this to you.”

She handed the note to Rabin, who opened it, his brows furrowing.

“What is it?” Zarya asked.

“He’s throwing a party tonight, and you are the guest of honor.”

“Me?” She pressed her mouth together as nervousness churned in her gut. Abishek had made a few passing references about introducing her to Andhera’s nobility, but she’d hoped they’d be long gone and on their way to Ishaan before he got around to it. It’s not that she didn’t want to meet them, but she was apprehensive about how they’d receive her.

Then she recalled those grand houses overlooking the city and wondered if this might be a chance to appeal to someone about the vanshaj.

“He wants to show you off,” Ekaja sing-songed.

Zarya threw her a skeptical look.

“A powerful daughter,” she continued. “You are something to show off.”

“I’m not his monkey trained to perform tricks,” she snapped, and Ekaja smiled.

Zarya had stepped into the sparring ring with Ekaja only once, and Abishek’s commander was as formidable as she looked. But they all liked training in that godforsaken Cradle, and Zarya decided her time was better spent on her research.

“You are correct,” Ekaja continued. “But the king never expected his line to continue. You were quite the…surprise.”

“Okay, so I guess he expects me to attend,” she said, taking the note from Rabin and scanning it.

“I think it would be easier to go along with it,” Ekaja said.

“I have nothing to wear,” Zarya said.

“My lady,” Urvi interrupted, still waiting by the door. “The king has already taken care of that.”

Zarya stood before the mirror a few hours later, wearing the most stunning lehenga she’d ever seen. A rainbow of soft pearlescent swoops of fabric gathered to form the full skirt while beading in similar hues covered every inch of the choli. Urvi had curled her hair and pinned the top half to her head, adding a pair of dangling golden earrings and a golden hoop to her nose.

Zarya’s eyes were ringed in black, and her cheeks and lips were dusted with pink. She looked like a different person dressed like this. Older. Wiser. Powerful .

The message was unmistakable. This wasn’t just a fancy outfit for a party.

This was how a princess dressed.

A knock came at the door, and Urvi opened it to reveal Rabin clad in a simple but well-made black sherwani that fit perfectly to the curves of his frame. Her heart did a little stutter as he stood in the doorway, his gaze assessing her from head to toe.

Urvi excused herself, leaving them alone.

“Spitfire,” he said, his voice low and rumbling so deep, she felt it in her very bones.

“Hi,” she said, doing a little twirl, “what do you think?”

“I think you’re so beautiful you could stop time.”

Rabin crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her from behind while she leaned into him.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Have you been to many of these things?”

“A few. They’re boring. Full of ancient Aazheri who love the sound of their own voices.”

“Oh, good. My favorite.”

Rabin brushed a lock of hair from her shoulder and kissed the skin. “They won’t know what hit them when you enter the room.”

She sighed. “Are Yasen and Miraan coming?”

“I’m not sure. They’ve received another letter from Ishaan, and I don’t think Miraan is willing to wait much longer,” Rabin said. “Yasen is trying to calm him down.”

Zarya frowned, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Let’s go see them.”

Rabin nodded and took her hand before heading for Miraan’s room, where they found the pair in the middle of a somewhat heated discussion.

“Zarya,” Miraan said as they entered. He strode across the room and wrapped his hands around her shoulders. “I’m sorry, but I can’t wait here anymore. My brother sent word that Dishani has been meeting with someone in secret. She’s planning to bring in additional forces to quell the riots and root out the resistance.”

“Additional forces? Where from?” Rabin asked.

Miraan shook his head. “My brother isn’t sure. Dishani held a meeting two days ago, and despite her very delicate condition, she attended alone. A short while later, she announced that more armies would soon join them. They’ll slaughter everyone if I don’t do something.”

Miraan released his grip on Zarya and paced away.

“And I’m not sure it’s safe,” Yasen said.

“I don’t care!” Miraan said. “Don’t you see? I don’t care about my safety. If I die, so be it, but I can’t sit here idle anymore.”

Rabin and Zarya exchanged uncertain looks, while Miraan and Yasen appeared to have a silent conversation.

“Fine,” Yasen said after a moment. “If that’s what you want.”

“You don’t have to come with me,” Miraan said. “I won’t blame you if you want to stay here.”

Zarya noted the way Yasen’s gaze shifted between her and Miraan. She understood he was being forced to choose between them, but she would never expect that.

“You should go with him,” Zarya said, taking the decision out of his hands.

When Yasen opened his mouth to argue, she strode over and grabbed his hand.

“We’ll just be a few days behind. Kishore will return soon. We can deal with the issues with our bond, and then we’ll all be back in Ishaan before you know it.”

“We said we should stick together,” Yasen said almost petulantly.

“I know.” Her hand tightened around his. “And after this, we will. But you should go with Miraan. I have Rabin to take care of me.”

“I don’t know about this,” he said. “How long will you stay?”

“Just until we can ensure the bond is stable,” she said.

Yasen blew out a breath. “Send us letters every chance you get. Every single day. Or I’ll be back here before you can blink.”

Zarya folded her arms and grinned. “Are you worried about me?”

“I’m always worried about you, Zee,” he answered. He said it so seriously that she felt tears burn in her eyes. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m not,” she answered, wiping the corner of her eye with the back of her hand. They smiled at each other, enjoying their silly game. She threw her arms around him.

“Be careful,” she said into his chest.

He smoothed a hand down the back of her head and kissed her temple. “You be careful, too, Swamp Girl.”