Page 4 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

THREE

Rabin was tense, his shoulders tight and his guard up. A return to Andhera usually expanded his lungs with relief and fresh, clean breaths, but when those mountains had come into view hours earlier, he’d been seized with a sense of ominous premonition.

He’d nearly turned back at that very moment but convinced himself he was being ridiculous. Row’s warnings had crept under his skin, and he was letting them get the best of him.

Besides, they truly had nowhere else to go right now.

He took a sip of his drink, studying his mentor. Rabin had convinced Zarya to come, but something itched at the back of his intuition. He’d been so focused on finding her. On bringing her to this place where he’d felt such peace that maybe he’d talked himself into something he never should have.

But Abishek was more than pleased to see Zarya, and there was a light in the king’s eyes that Rabin had never seen before. Immediately, he felt guilty for his uncharitable thoughts. Abishek had saved his life. He was a complicated man, of course, but he wasn’t a monster.

The group continued chattering around the table in Abishek’s solarium, but Rabin could see how exhausted Zarya, Yasen, and Miraan were thanks to the dark circles ringing their eyes.

As Rabin took another sip of wine, Abishek gave him a look that suggested he was displeased. Rabin wasn’t surprised by the king’s reaction to their completing the Bandhan without his input. But if he’d wanted them to wait, why hadn’t he said so when Rabin left to find Zarya? Did Abishek think Rabin couldn’t or wouldn’t make his own decisions?

“Zarya,” Abishek said after another few minutes. “You and your companions must be exhausted, and I’ve kept you talking for much too long.”

Zarya shook her head. “Oh no, it’s fi—” A yawn cracked from her mouth mid-sentence, and she covered it with the back of her hand. “I suppose we could use some rest.”

Abishek gave her a soft smile. “Of course. Omar will see you to your rooms.” He then glanced at the door where Omar was already waiting with his hands behind his back.

“Good night, then,” Zarya said, standing up. “It was nice to…meet you.”

She stared at Abishek for a moment and then blinked before her gaze met Rabin’s. He could see the shine of tears in her eyes, and he inhaled a deep breath.

Then Omar turned as Ekaja joined the four of them, leaving the king alone in his solarium.

Ekaja marched alongside Rabin, her posture erect as she stole curious glances his way. She knew he was hiding something. She could read him like a book. Honestly, he was surprised Abishek hadn’t picked up on it already, but he’d been so captivated by Zarya that perhaps it had thrown him off.

Rabin left Omar to see Zarya and the others to their rooms before ducking into his own. He unbuckled his weapons and stripped out of his leather armor, leaving him in a thin cotton shirt and leather pants. He shook out his hair and rolled his neck before toeing off his boots and striding over to the window.

Scanning the snowy landscape sparkling under the light of the stars and moon, he inhaled a deep breath, trying to find that calming place. But he couldn’t relax.

Something was nagging him, but he didn’t understand what.

He was just nervous. He’d wanted their meeting to go well. And mostly, it had. Abishek had always been quick to anger when he didn’t get his way, even if the other side had no way of knowing they’d caused offense.

Rabin was just feeling the weight and the responsibility of bringing Zarya to Andhera. He’d said he’d protect her and meant it with every breath. Now he lived with his duty to never let her down.

A sharp rap came at his door, and he spun around.

Ekaja didn’t wait for an invitation. She never did. This impatient knock was actually more than she usually bothered with. The door swung open, and she strode in, sauntering towards the window as he turned to face the glass again. She stopped beside him, and together, they stared into the dark, starry night.

“So,” she said.

“So?”

“You brought her here.”

He looked over to meet her gaze. “And?”

Ekaja shrugged. “You’re hiding this from him?”

“I’m not hiding anything,” he said a little too quickly, and she smirked.

“Sure.”

He ran a hand along the back of his neck and exhaled a long breath. He’d already told Ekaja too much about Zarya, but he trusted her to keep his secrets to herself.

Unfortunately, the king was far too versed in sniffing out treachery, and Rabin hoped they could keep their marriage a secret long enough to break the news to the king gently. After his reaction to completing the Bandhan without his consent, Rabin was more worried than ever about defying Abishek’s orders.

“It’s our business alone and has nothing to do with the king.”

Ekaja nodded. “Then I hope you understand what you’re doing. I know he gave you an order.”

“One that was completely unreasonable,” Rabin growled.

She shrugged again before saying, “She’s pretty.”

Rabin blew out a sigh. “I know. I don’t deserve her.”

“Relax,” she responded with a scoff. “It’s obvious she’s in love with you, for whatever reason.”

Rabin’s heart twisted with those words.

“But now I see why she’s had you so moody. Even more so than usual, I mean.”

He snorted a dry laugh as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Another knock came at the door, this one more tentative. Rabin spun on his heel and crossed the room, whipping it open to find Zarya standing on the other side.

“Spitfire,” he breathed, the tightness in his chest suddenly loosening.

“I wanted to say good night,” she said, her gaze moving past him.

Ekaja stood with her arms crossed and her hip cocked regarding them with her usual piercing scrutiny.

“Hi,” Zarya said. “We didn’t get much chance to talk at dinner. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Ekaja replied. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Zarya’s gaze went to Rabin. “That’s…nice?”

Ekaja laughed and then strode over to clap him on the shoulder. “Zarya, Rabin tells me you’re good with a sword.”

Zarya arched a brow and assessed Ekaja from head to toe. “I can hold my own.”

“Care for some sparring after some rest?”

Zarya grinned and nodded. “I’d love that.”

“Perfect.” Then Ekaja pressed the tips of her fingers to her mouth and blew them both a kiss before leaving and closing the door behind her.

“She seems intense,” Zarya said, and Rabin snorted another dry laugh.

“You have no idea.” Then he grabbed Zarya’s wrist and hauled her against him. “I missed you,” he said, and she smiled.

“I missed you, too.”

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Everything is okay?”

“Yeah. I think so. It was a little overwhelming, and he’s also intense, and I have no idea how the three of you live here together without this place imploding, but…” She paused and searched his face. “It was also nice.”

Rabin brushed a lock of hair off her forehead and cupped her cheek.

“And what will you tell him about your magic when he asks? I know what Row said about your nightfire…”

Something wary moved behind her eyes. “That’s part of why I agreed to come here. If he knows as much about magic as you say, I have some questions I’d like to ask.”

He thought often about what she’d done to his flowers in Daragaab. She was obviously struggling to explain it, but Rabin wasn’t hurt that she hadn’t confided in him yet—he understood what it was like to carry something inside you that you weren’t ready to share.

“And what about the vanshaj?”

She chewed her bottom lip. “How do you think he’d react if I told him everything? The secret is out now. I’m not sure why we need to hide what the sixth anchor or my nightfire are capable of.”

Rabin blew out a breath. “I don’t know how he’ll react.”

Zarya cocked a head. “Can you guess?”

“Honestly, I think he’ll be fascinated by the process more than anything. That could trump any reservations he might have.”

“Then I’ll work with that. Anything is better than the outright antagonism of Dishani and the Madans,” Zarya said.

She extricated herself from his hold and turned to face the room, her gaze sliding over the bed and the windows, the fire crackling in the hearth. She took a few steps. “This is where you brought me that night.”

He didn’t reply as she approached the desk they’d used as a shield between them. She picked up the same dagger she’d threatened him with, a small smile playing on her lips.

Holding it up, she twisted it left and right, admiring the gleam in the firelight. Then she looked over with a spark in her eyes.

“What’s on your mind, Spitfire?” he asked, his voice dropping low.

She winked and then turned towards the window, staring out as he watched her. Her midnight hair fell in soft waves down her back, reflecting orange in the firelight. She lifted a hand and pressed it to the glass.

“It’s so cold,” she whispered, and Rabin walked up behind her, laying a hand on the curve of her waist. “But…beautiful.”

“That’s how I’ve always felt about it, too,” he answered.

They stood silently for a minute, staring at the sparkling landscape together. This was all he’d wanted. Zarya in this place beside him. Eventually, they’d tell Abishek everything, and there would be no more secrets between any of them.

“What did you think of him?” Rabin finally asked.

She looked up. “He’s not what I expected. He seemed genuinely pleased to meet me.”

“He is,” Rabin said, meaning it. “You made him very happy today.”

“He behaved a bit strangely when he asked about the Bandhan.”

“He likes to be the one in control. And I can tell he’s already possessive of you.”

She nodded. “I guess I’m used to men thinking they know what’s best for me,” she said wryly. There wasn’t any bitterness in it, but he understood why she felt that way.

“And now what?” she asked. “You wanted to keep this a secret. How will he react if he finds out we were also married without him?”

Rabin gave her a rueful look. “Possibly the same.”

She shook her head. “So, I guess we should decide how we tell him because we can’t keep this a secret forever.”

“ If we tell him.”

Zarya frowned. “You don’t want to?”

“Let’s just play it by ear, okay?”

She gave him a searching look. “This whole thing feels a little strange.”

He nodded. “I understand. It will take us all some time to adjust.”

“Does Ekaja know?”

He tipped his head. “She…suspects.”

“And she’ll keep it to herself?”

He nodded. “We’ve been friends for many years. She can be trusted.”

“Okay. So now what? I suppose I should return to my room for appearance’s sake.”

He captured her chin between his thumb and finger. “I’ll hate every moment you aren’t by my side.”

She gave him a tipped smile and then stretched up to kiss him. “Good thing we have our dreams. I love you.”

When she was gone, Rabin returned to the window, staring out before exhaling a long breath.

This is what he’d wanted. This is what he’d planned for months.

So why did everything he was doing suddenly feel wrong?