Page 58 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

FIFTY-SEVEN

Zarya’s entire body hurt. Even with her eyes closed, lying on her back, it felt like the world was spinning. Slowly, she blinked awake to find a darkened room she didn’t recognize. Above her, a sky blue ceiling was carved with ornate scrolls and flowers. Curtains hung around the room in gauzy white, and the scent of jasmine and sandalwood filled her nose.

She flexed her fingers and toes and winced. Her limbs felt like lead. Slowly, she turned her head to the left. Her breath hitched at the sight of Rabin lying in the next bed. Watching him for several seconds, she noted the steady rise and fall of his chest.

She thought back to the last moments she remembered. Her magic had been stretched to its very limit, and she couldn’t feel her anchors. Not the tiniest flicker or glimmer. Would they come back?

Someone appeared in her vision. Row dropped into a crouch, putting him at eye level.

“Zarya,” he whispered. “How are you feeling?”

She tried to open her mouth, but even that felt like too much, so she just whimpered. Row brushed a piece of hair from her face and gently placed his hand on her forehead.

“You passed out after the battle ended,” he said softly. “I’ve never seen anyone use that much magic at once.”

She stared at him as a tear slipped down her cheek.

It represented so many things: the battle they’d fought, the terror of realizing Abishek had tricked them, her death, and Rabin’s fight to save her. The fear of running through Taaranas as Rabin hunted her down. It represented these people who’d become her family. The love in her heart for her husband and for Row, this man who’d raised her.

They’d survived, and she was alive.

Somehow , she’d come out the other side.

Another shadow fell over her, and she looked up to find Koura with a soft smile on his face.

“I’m glad to see you awake,” he said, leaning over and placing a hand above her heart. He held it there for a few seconds, concentrating before he nodded and pulled away.

“Your pulse is strong. It was touch and go there, but you’ll make a full recovery.”

She blinked and finally opened her mouth. “Rabin?” she whispered, and Koura smiled again.

“He’ll also be fine,” he said as relief relaxed the tension coiling in her body. “Your magic, too,” he added. “It will take a week or two to recover, but I’m confident it will return.”

She nodded as someone knocked on the door. Row opened it to reveal a servant bearing a silver tray with a small gold cup. Koura took it and held the cup towards her.

“Drink this—it will help you get the rest you need,” he said. “While you sleep, I will use my magic to help replenish your anchors.”

“Thank you,” she whispered as Row cupped a hand behind her head and lifted it up so she could drink. The cool tonic slipped down her throat, leaving a taste of cinnamon on her tongue.

Immediately, she felt the effects as Row laid her head on the pillow and her eyelids slid closed. She heard them talking for a moment, and then, she was gone.

Zarya wasn’t sure how much time had passed as she drifted in and out of consciousness. She was aware of Row and Koura at her side, caring for her as they helped bring her back to life. Yasen appeared a few times in the haze of semi-consciousness, and she savored the comfort of his presence somewhere in the depths of her exhaustion.

It must have been days later when she awoke to a dark room and, for the first time, felt like she could move. The tiniest spark flickered in her chest, and she closed her eyes, pressing her hand to her heart.

Eventually, she turned her head to meet a pair of dark irises flecked with gold.

“Rabin,” she whispered.

“Spitfire.” His voice was raw, but the way he said it filtered through her blood and filled her back up.

“Can you move?” she asked.

“Not really. You?”

“A little,” she said. “I miss you.”

At that, he simply lifted his arm with a wince, pulling up the corner of his blanket. She sat up slowly and placed her feet on the floor. It took a moment to heave herself up, and then she stole across the space and climbed in beside him.

He wrapped his arms around her, and she pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent. They lay together for a long time, saying nothing while Zarya listened to the beat of his heart and the soft sounds of his breath.

He rubbed a hand down the back of her head and kissed her temple. “How are you?” he whispered into her hair.

“So glad you’re alive,” she said.

She looked up to meet his pensive gaze.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

He shook his head and blew out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Zarya. I’ll never forgive myself for what he did to you.”

“It wasn’t your fault. He tricked us both.”

“I brought you there. I should have hidden you. I should have protected you.” He slid his hand up the back of her shirt to run his fingers across the scars he’d inflicted. “But I hurt you.” His voice deepened, and his eyes turned black.

“Please don’t blame yourself for this,” she said. “I want to put this behind us.”

“I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Please?”

He exhaled a soft breath. “I can try.”

She pressed her mouth together, knowing that he’d probably have to work through this himself no matter what she said or what assurances she offered.

He blinked and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Are you ready for the next part?” he asked. “This fight is over. We were married in the middle of a hurricane and never had a chance to build a life.”

She gave him a watery smile. “I always want to be surrounded by people.”

He grimaced, and she laughed.

“All right, how about sometimes?”

“You still want to remain in Ishaan?” he asked.

“I do, but what about your home? Do you want to return to Dharati?”

He shook his head. “Maybe, but I’d have to mend bridges with Vik first. And I don’t know if I’m ready to be near my father again.”

“Do you think they’re okay?”

“I’m not sure.”

She looked up at the ceiling and then back at him. “What if we lived at your manor sometimes?”

He smiled. “I’d like that.”

“I don’t care what we do, Rabin. I just want to be with you.”

He hugged her tighter and kissed her softly before they snuggled into each other and eventually drifted off to sleep again.