Page 10 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

NINE

While the others spent their time at the Cradle, Zarya spent hers combing through Abishek’s library, searching for something to explain her visions. The king would often join her, sitting next to her while he queried with more probing questions.

He wasn’t only interested in her visions. He asked endless questions about her, too. He wanted to know everything. He was even fascinated by her love of romance novels and declared that he’d have to acquire a collection for the castle.

He welcomed her into his life, and though he could be quick to anger and a little bossy, she sensed his heart was in the right place. He’d become a father overnight, and they were both navigating the possibilities and pitfalls of this new relationship.

As she continued to peruse his numerous books, she grew increasingly frustrated when she couldn’t find the answers she sought. Abishek didn’t seem concerned, confident they’d figure it out, but she’d rested so many hopes on his knowledge.

Maybe she’d convinced herself that her choice to come here was justified if he could help. But they also needed safety. They couldn’t return to Dharati, and Dishani wanted her dead. She was using Abishek for his protection as well.

“Tell me again about the visions,” Abishek asked as he sat across from her that afternoon. He leaned forward, folding his hands together. “Is there anything else you haven’t shared yet? Something you forgot to mention.”

“I don’t think so. It’s like I said—demon armies and ruin. A landscape bent and shattered. Smoke and ashes. I hear the man’s voice in a language I don’t know. I thought I heard two voices at some point, but it’s hard to be sure anymore. I saw him when I looked in the mirror.” She rubbed her face with her hands. “Or maybe it’s nothing, and I’ve been imagining things all along.”

She couldn’t help adding the caveat. What if she were simply losing her mind?

“Do you really believe that’s what it is?” Abishek asked.

She bit the corner of her lip and rallied her courage for the next thing she hadn’t shared yet.

“When I killed Dhawan, he said something to me,” she started.

Abishek sat forward at the mention of the old Aazheri’s name. “Yes?”

“He said that I caused the blight.”

Abishek tipped his head, curiosity spreading over his features.

“And sometimes I wonder if he was right,” she continued. “It started on the shoreline where I lived. The demons always responded to my starlight even when it existed in its inert form, and after I left, it sometimes felt like they were calling to me.”

She paused and took a long sip of water before she continued.

“And when it happened again in Ishaan…” She recalled the moment in the forest when something had moved in her peripheral vision. Something not of this plane. “I’m starting to worry about remaining in one place for too long.”

Abishek remained silent as she inhaled a deep breath.

“So no, I don’t think I’m imagining anything. I think Dhawan might have been right. For a moment, I wondered if it was the tainted Bandhan, but the visions started long before we performed the bonding. So it can’t be that.”

“Is the frequency increasing as more time passes?” he asked. “You mentioned it’s only happened a few times.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe so.”

“That seems like a very good sign,” Abishek said, giving her a small smile. He sat back and drained his wine glass before setting it on the table.

“Zarya, I don’t have an explanation for this, but I assure you I will do everything I can to help you understand what it means.”

She felt another rush of gratitude as her shoulders eased from her ears. He wasn’t tossing her out. He wasn’t looking at her like she was a monster. He was helping her. So many of her reservations about coming to Andhera faded away in the face of his support.

“I wondered,” Zarya said. “It sounds like the stories I’ve heard about the Hanera Wars.”

Abishek shrugged. “It’s possible. There are some similarities in what you’ve described.”

“What could that mean?”

Again, he shook his head. “Past lives aren’t uncommon amongst our kind, though it is rare to carry their memories.”

“Memories?” Zarya asked. “Like these might be things that happened to me in some other life?”

“Perhaps,” he said with a wave of his hand. “But this is likely all a coincidence. You lived with the blight for so long that your thoughts go there first when confronted with evidence of something similar.”

Abishek offered her a scrutinizing look, his gaze traveling over her face in a way that almost felt like he was searching for something.

Then he waved a hand. “But it’s far more likely they’re simply dreams and nightmares. Nothing to worry yourself over.”

“But I touched the forest and the flowers. They died under my hand.”

“You have strong magic, Zarya, and you’re still learning how to control it. Usually, the simplest explanation is the most likely one.”

“Right,” she said as he pushed up from his seat.

“Kishore will offer insight into this when he returns. Now I must be off.”

“When are you expecting him back? Any word?”

He gave her a patient smile. “As I’ve said—just another day or two.”

Then he made to leave.

“I was hoping we could discuss the vanshaj again,” she called after him.

He stopped and turned back to face her. “Zarya, we’ve already talked about this.”

“We haven’t really, though. You said you’d consider allowing me to break the collars of Andhera’s vanshaj, but you haven’t mentioned it since.”

The smile dropped from his face, his expression turning serious.

“Nevertheless, I have given the matter much thought and am still considering the best approach. I’m not unsympathetic to this cause, but the chaos in Ishaan is proof enough of how careful we need to be. I hope Princess Dishani will soon get her people under control so we may avoid further bloodshed. Once that is done, we can move forward.”

Zarya let out a tense breath. “But the answer isn’t no?”

He tipped his head, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “It isn’t no. I promise it will remain at the top of my mind.”

“Okay,” she answered with a nod. “Thank you.”

He offered her one more careful look before he spun on his heel and strode out of the room. It wasn’t the answer she’d been hoping for, but he wasn’t completely shutting her down.

She flipped through the book on the table, but her heart wasn’t in it anymore, at least for today. She also fiercely missed Rabin, and it was throwing her off. Keeping their distance was driving them both a little nuts. With the mind plane still blocked, Zarya desperately wanted some alone time, and she was climbing out of her skin.

Deciding she was done with her research for today, she slammed the book shut and went in search of her husband. He’d promised to take her into the city tonight.

It didn’t take long to find him entering the castle with Yasen, Miraan, and Ekaja, all windswept, their noses and cheeks pink from the cold.

“How was the Cradle today?” Zarya asked.

“These two are insane,” Yasen said, stomping his booted feet to generate warmth. He pointed at Rabin and Ekaja, who both rolled their eyes.

“If you’re too weak to handle it, don’t blame us,” Ekaja said with a cackle.

Zarya was relieved to see Miraan out of his room and actually smiling.

“Are you done in the library?” Rabin asked, and Zarya nodded.

“For today. Are you still up for a visit to the city?”

“Of course.”

“Anyone else?” Zarya asked.

“No, thanks,” Yasen said. “I’m sitting by the fire to warm my frozen toes for the rest of the night.”

“Me as well,” Miraan answered. “I have some letters to write home.”

“I also have duties I need to attend, but thank you,” Ekaja said, and they all said good night before parting ways.

After retrieving their coats and boots, Rabin held out an arm, and Zarya took it before he steered her out of the castle. They’d only briefly had a chance to visit the city, and Rabin promised to take her somewhere special tonight. There was also someone he wanted her to meet.

They descended the castle’s wide staircase and then strolled down the path leading into the city, entering a boulevard lined with vendors selling preserved fruit and vegetables, dried meat, and flour.

Zarya had learned it was difficult to obtain fresh ingredients this deep in the mountains, and the spoils from Andhera’s hunters were rare and expensive, out of reach for the average citizen.

Most had to content themselves with dried provisions, especially in winter. She contrasted that knowledge with the bounty of food they enjoyed in the castle with a sour kind of bitterness. She’d considered commenting on it several times but felt she was already walking a fine line with her questions about the vanshaj.

The elevation climbed into flat cliffs at the city’s far end, supporting several rows of large houses belonging to Andhera’s nobility. They were simple in their construction, built to withstand the harsh climate, but were grand in scale. Zarya suspected food could be found in abundance in these homes as well.

They passed stands selling roasted nuts and glass tumblers of steaming chai while Zarya inhaled deeply, taking in everything with wonder.

From her reading, she knew Andhera wasn’t particularly noteworthy compared to Rahajhan’s other great cities. It was nothing compared to Dharati’s opulent streets, Ishaan’s intricate architecture, Vayuu’s airy sky city, or Svaasthy’s massive buildings carved right into the ridges of soaring sandstone cliffs.

Andhera was practical, built to withstand the harsh winds and driving snow. The extreme temperatures that made you wonder if your very blood might freeze in your veins. But Zarya appreciated it with the same awe she reserved for everything. If there ever came a day when she viewed the world with only cynicism, she’d rather be dead.

“Come,” Rabin said, tugging on her hand. “This way.”

Zarya allowed him to lead her through the city and past the western gate. Beyond it they found a path lined with a few small homes before branching off.

Rabin gestured for her to follow down an inclined, rocky path. The edges were dusted with snow, and small bushes broke through the crust.

“Where are we going?” she asked as they continued their ascent.

“Somewhere I think you’ll appreciate.”

She stomped up the path, huffing and puffing. She wasn’t used to this heavy clothing, and the fur-lined boots weighed her feet down.

“Almost there,” Rabin promised as they curved around another bend and exited the tree line to find an open cliff. He waited for her to catch up before they approached the edge.

Andhera spread before them, mountains and snow and deep green trees scattering in every direction. The setting sun cast the entire range of soaring peaks in soft yellow light, almost like it had been dipped in gold. Hundreds of snow-dusted trees sparkled like fairies had sprinkled them with magic.

She stared at the horizon, needing silence to honor this moment.

She thought of the seaside cottage. Of all those lonely years she’d spent with that unpopulated coastline as her entire world. She recalled standing at the edge of the sea, staring out and wishing for more. Wishing for a bigger life.

And now, she was here at the other end of the world, looking out over a landscape she’d barely known existed. And this wasn’t some inconsequential spot where she’d traveled. This wasn’t a random occurrence in the fabric of her life. This place was hers . It belonged to her. Or maybe she was the one who belonged to these mountains and this sky. Either way, she could feel Andhera in her blood.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

“I thought you’d like it.”

She turned to look at Rabin, studying the lines of his profile as the breeze tossed strands of his dark hair. Perhaps sensing her gaze, he looked down and gave her the softest of his rare smiles.

“Thank you,” she said. “For all of this. For convincing me to come here and meet him. I might never have done it without you.”

He gave her a look she couldn’t interpret as the corner of his mouth pressed together. Then he dipped his head. “Of course. You understand I would do anything for you.”

It wasn’t a question but rather a statement of fact. Immutable. Unshakeable from now until these very mountains crumbled into the sea.

“I would do anything for you, too,” she answered, and his expression softened.

“Then how about joining me for a drink?”

She smiled, and he took her hand as they dove down another path, again losing themselves in the trees. It took a few minutes to emerge onto another flat cliff with nearly the same perspective. By now, the sun was moving behind the peaks, lighting them from behind.

A cozy house made of dark wood sat on the cliff, its windows glowing softly with warm light. They entered to find a common room hosting a smattering of customers. The walls and floors were paneled in more dark wood, and every corner was stuffed with plush chairs and sofas. A massive fireplace dominated one wall, and a bar stretched along the other.

“Rabin!” exclaimed the man behind the counter. He was Aazheri, with kind eyes and a bright smile. “You’re back! So good to see you. Who is this, then?”

The man’s eyes fell on Zarya, and she gave him a little wave.

“Dav, this is Zarya. The woman I told you about.” He gestured to her, and they shook hands.

“So nice to meet you,” she said. “You told him about me?”

“Where else could I go to drown my sorrows?” he asked, and she snorted.

“Did you just make a…joke?”

He tipped his head, his brow furrowing as though he was considering the question. “I’m not sure.”

At that, Zarya and Dav both started laughing.

“Well, I’m glad she came around,” Dav said. “What brings you here this evening?”

Rabin lowered his head, his shoulders curving inwards.

“Zarya came from Ishaan, Dav. You’ve heard the stories about the rebellion?”

Instantly, Dav’s demeanor shifted. “We should not talk about that here,” he whispered.

Dav jerked his chin, gesturing for Zarya and Rabin to follow into another room. He closed the door and spun around.

“What’s going on?” Zarya asked, her gaze darting between them.

“Zarya,” Rabin said, “Dav is part of Andhera’s vanshaj resistance, and I thought you should meet.”