Page 17 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

SIXTEEN

“Zarya,” came a rough voice. She spun around to find Rabin standing in the trees. “What happened?”

They both scanned the ruined clearing before their gazes met.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked.

“I saw you leave the castle, and I was worried.” He took a step towards her, holding out his hand. “Are you okay?”

“It happened again,” she said. “The visions…they’re growing stronger, and I saw something else. I think I just figured something out.”

“What?” He searched her face, his brow furrowed with worry.

“I’ve always thought it was one man I was seeing,” she said. “It was always the same face.”

She looked up at him as nervousness swelled up her throat.

“Zarya, what is it?”

“There are two men. Twins.”

She paused as those words settled around them.

“Twins?” He blinked.

She swallowed hard as she scanned the quiet forest. An owl hooted in the distance, echoing against the still night.

“I recognized the Temple of Starlight and the ancient lost city of Taaranas. There was no mistaking it.” She clutched her heart as it hammered in her chest.

“Zarya, what is it?”

“I don’t think they’re actually visions,” she said, her voice hollow.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t explain it,” she replied as she bent over, suddenly feeling like she was having a heart attack as her ribs constricted. “It’s not something I’m witnessing. It’s something I’ve experienced. I was there . These aren’t…recollections or the echoes of past lives. These are… my memories.”

Rabin circled his arms around her waist as her knees buckled, her weight falling against him.

“What does that mean?” he asked as he slowly led her towards a rock where she collapsed. He sat beside her as she spread her knees and dropped her head between them, trying to catch her breath. The snowy ground spun, twisting the edges of her tilting vision.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Is it possible…” She looked up to find him watching her with a concerned expression. “Is it possible that I was …the Ashvins?”

Rabin frowned. “I don’t think it works like that. You can’t be two different people.”

“Maybe it’s different with twins? Maybe they share a spirit or something?”

Rabin huffed out a short breath. “I suppose it’s possible.”

She shook her head and scrubbed her cheek with the back of her hand, catching an errant tear. “When it first happened, it felt like I was bearing witness to it, but this time I was there . I felt their passion and their anger. Their desire to seize power and conquer everything in their path.”

“Wouldn’t you understand their language, then?”

She shrugged. “It’s been a thousand years. Maybe I forgot.”

They shared another look before they both fell silent. The wind softly rustled the leaves, and the screech of a bird echoed in the distance.

“What will you do? Talk to the king?” he asked. She noticed the lines around his mouth tighten at the question.

She shook her head. “He doesn’t seem to think any of this is a problem. He thinks I’m just imagining it, or it’s all in my head.”

Rabin took her hand and squeezed it. “We’ll figure out what this is.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “What if Dhawan was right?”

Rabin’s brow creased. “You are not the darkness, Zarya. You are the very definition of light.”

She gestured around them and the damning evidence of what she’d done. Her gaze skirted over the dead trees. “How can you say that? You remember what happened to your flowers. Something isn’t right.”

His jaw turned hard as he surveyed their surroundings before he shook his head. “There is some explanation for this. Some other one.”

“What if there isn’t?” she asked. “What if I did cause it, and what if it’s returning? What if something evil lives inside of me?”

“Zarya—”

“No, don’t deny it. Answer me. What if this is real?”

Rabin reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I’m afraid. Because I might be a monster, and you are bound to me. I should have told you about the visions before I let you perform the Bandhan.”

He studied her with his intense gaze. “Zarya. What if this were the other way around? What if the darkness lived in me? What would you say?”

She swallowed. “I’d tell you that we’d find a way to fix it, or we’d both die trying.”

He huffed out a small laugh. “Zarya, don’t you think that I feel the same? I promised you that I would protect you no matter what. Whatever the fates throw our way, I will be there for you. If this is something we must deal with. If evil lives inside you, I will also stand by your side for as long as it takes.”

Zarya’s mouth pressed together as tears filled her eyes. One slipped down her cheek, and she said, “I love you. I know we had a rocky start, but I love you, and I’m so lucky the fates chose you to be my paramadhar.”

He offered her a tipped smile. “They chose well. I can’t imagine being bound to anyone else.”

Then he leaned in to kiss her and she sensed he was trying to offer a message of his truth and his commitment. That he was trying to prove the sincerity of his words. She would do the same for him. Of course she would.

He pulled away and touched his forehead to hers.

“I love you, too,” he whispered as they sat quietly holding one another, surrounded by the ruin of all her secrets.

Rabin held Zarya tightly as she continued to shake. The look on her face was unbearable when she asked him if he would stand beside her. He understood why she needed to voice the question. He understood what it felt like to worry that the ones you loved might walk away.

After a few minutes, she pulled away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“It’s freezing out here,” she whispered. “We should probably go back.”

She looked around the withered clearing, blinking as if wishing she could make it disappear. “Can you…fix this?”

Her wary look was so full of apprehension that he immediately nodded. “I can.”

He stood up and took a moment to circle the clearing while calling on his magic. Swirls of coppery light floated from his fingers, touching the trees and curling around their trunks and branches.

He watched as his magic took hold, restoring the plants to their former state. When he’d finished, he turned to find Zarya watching him with a sparkling sort of wonder.

“You’re amazing,” she said, eliciting a warm twist in his heart.

He approached and held out a hand, drawing her up.

“Do you want to go back to bed, or are you open to seeing something special I’ve been saving?”

She offered him a small smile. “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise. But I promise it will take your mind off all this for a little while.”

“Then I’m in.”

He leaned in to kiss her cheek, her skin icy against his lips. Then he took her hand and tugged her through the trees, away from the castle and the city. The sky was dark, with only the moon providing light, but he had no trouble navigating the terrain with his enhanced sight.

“Where are we going?” Zarya asked, and he was relieved to hear the excitement in her voice. Whatever this thing was, they’d figure it out. He knew she wasn’t evil.

“Almost there,” he promised.

They twisted down the path and broke through the trees.

“Oh,” Zarya breathed as she took in the steaming hot springs spreading before them. Dozens of bright blue pools nestled amongst the rocks, connected with tiny waterfalls, stone bridges, and ladders carved into the sides.

“Okay, this was worth the wait,” she said, grinning as he dragged her closer.

“Care for a swim?” he asked, arching a brow.

She nodded eagerly. “Absolutely.”

“Then strip,” he growled, and she was already tugging off her clothes and folding them on top of a large rock. Once Zarya was naked, she tiptoed over to the water and immediately sunk in, exhaling a sigh.

“Gods, that feels amazing,” she groaned. She dunked her head, soaking her hair, and popped up before looking to where he stood watching her.

“You coming?” she asked, tipping her head and giving him a coy look that made his dick stir. Still wearing his pants, he nodded with his hand on the laces. The cold dragged goosebumps across his skin, but he wanted to watch her enjoy this for a moment.

She pushed off the wall, swimming back, giving him a wicked grin.

“Rabin,” she whispered. “Get in here now.”

He smirked and finally shucked off his pants and boots, settling everything on the same rock to keep everything dry. Then he stood at the edge, peering down.

Zarya’s eyes wandered over his body, her gaze tracing the curves of his shoulders and the planes of his chest. He felt that look as it traveled lower and to his cock, which already stood hard and swollen, ready for her.

Zarya floated closer, folding her arms on the ledge. “Do you need some help with that?”

Her eyes dipped to his hips, and she licked her lips before peering up with an innocent smile.

The corner of his mouth curled in response before he strode over and leaped into the water. Zarya screamed as he splashed her, and before she could recover, he snaked an arm around her waist, dragging her back to his chest.

She pretended to fight him as she laughed, and he buried his nose into the curve of her throat. He dragged her deeper, moving between the rocks until they entered a deep pool lit from within by bioluminescent plants. This was his favorite spot.

They stopped in the center, and he wrapped a hand under her chin and tipped her face up to reveal the sky sparkling with a million stars. Soft moonlight beamed down, making the air foggy and soft. It was easier to forget your troubles in this place. It made his heart slow and his mind go quiet.

Zarya spun around in his arms, flattening her body to his. She was warm and soft, and he pulled her closer, his hand pressing against the small of her back.

She gasped as his erection pressed between her thighs, and she wrapped her legs around his hips, writhing against him, sliding herself along his cock as her head tipped back. He admired the glint of moonlight highlighting her throat, noting the pulsing vein tracing down its length.

His mouth watered for a taste as he cupped her head and drew her in closer. Positioning the head of his cock at her entrance, he slowly arched his hips and lowered his head to suck on her throat.

He groaned as he entered her, the walls of her heat clenching around him. She gasped his name as her legs cinched tighter, and he gripped her hips as he pumped into her.

She looped her arms around his neck as he moved them across the water, pressing her against a wall for leverage. Once she was secured, he tipped her chin up so he could lick up her neck.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Please. Do it.”

Gods, how could he resist when she begged for it? He whipped his hips back and then thrust into her again, bottoming out as his teeth sank into her skin. Warmth filled his mouth, her blood sparking through all his senses.

He would never get over how she tasted so alive and electric. Like storm clouds and sunrays, all twisting together. As he drank, he continued fucking her, thrusting his hips over and over.

She gripped his shoulders as she met him, her hips slamming against his.

He could feel her nearing the edge. Her breath fluttered out in tight gasps. His release tightened, a tingle running across his back as he pulled his teeth out and slanted his mouth to hers.

She’d taste her blood on his tongue, and he wanted her to experience this singular flavor. She moaned into his mouth as he thrust again, and then she cried out as he felt her tighten around him.

The pressure was insane, his brain whiting out as he continued pumping into her, and then a moment later, his release broke out of him in a shudder. They kissed under the moonlight as they slowly caught their breaths.

Then he pulled away and stared into her eyes. She’d been terrified that he’d leave her an hour ago. He knew she wasn’t evil. He knew that she would never do anything like the Ashvins.

Everyone was tested sometimes, but Zarya would never fall.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and he sensed so many things buried in those words. He didn’t need thanking. He should be the one on his knees.

He looked down and smiled at her. He was worried about her visions, too.

Something was happening that neither of them could explain, but they’d have to tear him apart piece by piece before he’d ever walk away.