Page 16 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin (The Nightfire Quartet #4)

FIFTEEN

Zarya had another dream about her mother.

Tonight, it was more vivid—the colors brighter—and she wasn’t just observing the scene; she was inside it. She saw herself winding up a narrow stone staircase and opening a door, the hinges creaking ominously against the backdrop of a howling wind.

Asha huddled against the wall, cold and barely dressed, bloody lashes marring her arms, legs, and back. She curled into herself, her head pressed to her knees as she shivered with a helpless whimper.

Zarya slowly entered, her shoes ringing against the hollow wooden floorboards, dust kicking up around her feet. She stretched her arm out, trying to reach Asha, desperately wanting to touch and comfort her.

A flash of golden light flared in her side vision, and she spun around to catch a fleeting glimpse of a golden figure. The same woman she’d seen last time. She stared at the empty space for several seconds before turning towards her mother again.

Asha shuddered, her teeth chattering and her chest rattling with dry breaths.

Zarya took another step, and then the world blinked out.

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up in her bed. It was still dark outside, and the sun was just beginning to lift over the horizon. Her skin was clammy and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her pulse was racing, and her heart thrashed against her ribs.

Why did she keep having that dream? And why now? Who was the golden woman in the corner? And what did she have to do with any of this?

Shoving the covers off, she slid out of bed and padded to the window. Snow fell in soft flakes, covering everything with a pristine blanket of white. She missed the beaches of Daragaab, their warm breezes, and the crash of the sea, but she couldn’t deny Andhera’s pure tranquility.

Despite her wariness, she realized she was already falling in love with this place. It was as if her consciousness knew this was where she’d always belonged.

Knowing she couldn’t sleep anymore, she decided to do some reading.

Tossing on some warm clothes, she made her way through the quiet halls of the castle, her route lit by dim, flickering torchlight.

She stopped before a long stretch of tapestries, carefully studying the buildings and streets of the great city that had once stood nestled in these mountains.

Taaranas.

Through her many hours spent in Abishek’s library, she’d learned all about the ancient city where the Ashvin twins had once ruled, their power spreading far and wide over Rahajhan.

She noted the great stepped pyramid of the Temple of Starlight—made entirely of silver bricks—with a massive star hovering at its peak. This had been the twins’ fortress where they gathered followers and worshipers, who came bearing gold and gifts to earn the twins’ favor.

Zarya noted the hundreds of people woven into the scene. She wondered who they were, what they’d been thinking. What happened to them when the worst came? She shivered at the thought of these poor families swept away by a tide of nairatta.

A distant noise had her spinning around, her heart thumping in her chest. But the corridor was empty, and she shook it off. She was letting her mind get the best of her. Still, she hurried along, traversing the halls quickly until she spied the familiar entrance to Abishek’s library.

She was surprised to find the king seated at a table, reading by the light of a small yellow orb floating next to him. He looked up at her approach, his brow furrowing. “Zarya, what are you doing here at this hour?”

“Where have you been? I’ve been wanting to speak with you.”

“Ah,” Abishek said, closing his book and folding his hands over the cover. “I’m very sorry. I’ve been dealing with some issues at my northern borders. The mountain clans have blocked some critical passes, preventing supply access into the city.” He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s all very messy but also very boring and nothing you need to trouble yourself with.”

He patted the table. “Come and have a seat and tell me how I can help.”

“I was having trouble sleeping,” she admitted as she wandered closer, perching on a stool across from him. “Dreams. Nightmares. Visions. I’m having trouble separating it all at this point.”

“More of the same? Would you like to talk about it?”

This was one thing she appreciated about him. Despite his never-ending thirst for knowledge, he always offered his undivided attention whenever she spoke. It made her feel important. Maybe even loved.

“It’s my mother,” she said as she watched his brows climb up his forehead. “I keep seeing her in a room with windows, and the wind howls around us. Someone has hurt her. She’s wearing barely any clothing, and she’s shivering. She’s covered in bruises and marks.”

Zarya touched her arm like she could feel her mother’s phantom pains.

Abishek was staring at her intently now, something passing behind his eyes. “What happened in the dream?” he asked.

“Not much. I circled up some stairs, came to the top, saw her, and then I woke up.”

“That’s it?” he asked.

“I almost touched her, and there was a strange flash of light,” she said, still feeling the strange chill that had settled over her. “I thought I saw someone else, too. But the dream ended before I could reach her.”

Abishek continued to study her carefully. “Who did you see?”

“I’m not sure. It almost looked like a golden woman.”

“And what do you think it might mean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. She’s been in my thoughts more than ever.”

Abishek nodded. “That makes sense. Perhaps being here, meeting me, and seeing this place stirs up many feelings of family and belonging.”

She nodded. That did make sense.

“I just don’t understand why my subconscious would be choosing to hurt her.”

Abishek seemed to consider that. “Perhaps deep down, you blame her for leaving you. Perhaps you must work through any anger you’re holding about being abandoned by the only parent who knew you existed.”

Zarya rubbed the tip of her nose, wondering if she sensed a pointedness in his comment. She understood her mother’s reasons for keeping her a secret from Abishek, but he probably had a right to feel a touch bitter about the entire situation. Especially since they’d been here for weeks now, and the king hadn’t done anything to suggest her fears were accurate.

“Maybe,” Zarya replied.

She recalled Dishani’s shouted words and Miraan’s answer when she’d barely clung to life.

She abandoned us.

She didn’t have a choice.

Zarya wasn’t the only child she’d left. She wasn’t the only one hurt by their mother’s disappearance. Maybe with Asha in the picture, things would have turned out differently for all of them. Could she have controlled her daughter? Would her mother have worked with the Rising Phoenix or against them?

“How did you meet her?” Zarya asked. “How did you…”

“Come to father you?” he asked with an arched brow.

“Yes.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “It’s not a particularly interesting story. I was in Ishaan on business, and it’s customary for visiting royals to offer lodging to one another.” He paused. “She was a fascinating and beautiful woman, and we talked for hours. We had many things in common, and I understood her arrangement with Kabir was only a front.” His gaze grew distant. “As one thing led to another, I find you sitting here with me.”

He turned to look at her, and she was having trouble reconciling her conflicting emotions.

She tore her gaze from the king’s and looked around the room. She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. That dream kept polluting her thoughts. Combined with her strange visions, her head was becoming a very dark and tumultuous place.

“Why were you looking for me?” Abishek asked a moment later.

“Hmm?” She returned her focus to the king.

“When you came in, you wondered where I’d been.”

“Yes. I wanted to talk to you about Amir.”

Abishek arched a brow and gave her a serious look.

“What about him?”

“I hope I’m not overstepping or imagining anything, but I wondered if perhaps…” She stopped and rubbed a hand down her face. Now that she was saying it out loud, she felt silly and wondered if she’d misread the entire situation.

“What is it?” Abishek asked, his tone laced with concern.

“You weren’t trying to ‘introduce’ us?” she finally asked. Abishek appeared confused before his expression cleared.

“Ah, I think I understand,” he said. “I simply wanted you to meet him as I did with all the others. I hope…I did nothing wrong?”

Zarya inhaled a breath and smiled. “No. Not at all. I guess I misread things.”

Abishek chuckled softly. “Though if you are looking to make a match, you could do worse than…”

She raised a hand. “Thank you. No. That isn’t necessary.”

“You’re sure? You’re a young woman, and you’ll need to settle down soon enough.”

Zarya ignored the chastisement in his tone and sucked in a deep, calming breath.

“I’m positive. There’s someone back in…Ishaan.”

The lie clogged in her throat, and she wondered how much longer Rabin would insist they maintain this ruse. Surely, with everything Abishek knew, this hardly mattered in the bigger picture.

“I see,” Abishek said, and she couldn’t determine anything from the tone in his voice. “I should like to meet the lucky Aazheri.”

She rubbed the tip of her nose. “What makes you think he’s Aazheri?”

Abishek blinked. “No daughter of mine will dilute her bloodline by breeding with anyone but an Aazheri.”

Zarya frowned. “Who said anything about breeding ? And don’t you think that’s a little…reductive?”

Abishek’s gaze darkened. “I have spent my life protecting the power of Aazheri, Zarya, including keeping our bloodline pure. When the time is right, you will marry an Aazheri. One with strong magic. Amir would be the perfect choice.”

She stared at the king, every response she could think of withering on her tongue. She had no idea how to respond. Obviously, she would never concede to this demand. So, she brushed past it, eager to change the subject, and asked, “Have you heard from Kishore yet?”

Amir and Abishek’s notions of who she should marry would become a distant memory once they met with the mystic and left.

“In fact, I have,” Abishek said. “He shall return in two days.”

“Two days? For sure this time?” she asked. “Because we’ve delayed enough.”

He nodded. “I understand. If you’ll just hang on a little longer. Perhaps I might examine your marking again? I want to ensure the bond hasn’t deteriorated any further.”

Zarya shifted in her seat, feeling the weight of the dragon tattooed on her shoulder. “You don’t need Rabin here for this?”

“It would give me a clearer picture, but I can get a sense with only your tattoo.”

“Okay,” she said, tugging down the sleeve of her top as Abishek stood and circled behind her. She stared ahead and felt him gently lay a hand on her shoulder, his skin cool and dry. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the dragon, wondering if she could feel it, too. Was there some way to tell if the corruption was growing worse?

She felt nothing. Not the echoing tie that bound her to Rabin like she had two souls living inside her. Their connection was still blocked.

“You still haven’t been able to access the mind plane?” he asked as if reading her thoughts.

“No,” she answered.

Abishek probed her skin along the lines of the marking for another minute with his clinical touch. She heard him make a soft noise of concern before withdrawing his hand and circling back to take the chair across from her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s as I feared. I sense the corruption within the bond is deepening.”

Zarya swallowed a knot of anxiousness at that declaration. “Is it much worse?”

Abishek shook his head. “Not so much that the effects are irreversible, but I am growing concerned. You haven’t noticed anything amiss with your magic?” He sat forward, bracing his elbows on the table with lines of concern marring his forehead.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“What about the visions?” he asked. “Have they changed or increased in frequency?”

She nodded. “They come more than ever.” She rubbed her arms, suddenly feeling a chill in the air. “You haven’t noticed anything unusual within your borders? Creatures that don’t belong here?”

Abishek shook his head. “Zarya, the blight isn’t returning. I assure you.”

Zarya rubbed her nose and sighed.

Surely, you’ve realized by now that you are responsible for all of this? That the darkness lives in you?

“Zarya,” he said after another moment, his tone patient and kind. “Do you really think you are responsible for a plague spreading through all of Rahajhan?”

He studied her, worry entering his expression. His look was warm and full of what might be called protection. She shook her head, feeling tears press the backs of her eyes as she let out an amused huff.

“I mean, I don’t know. I would have said no if you’d asked me that a year ago. But so much has happened since, and I don’t really know anymore. What if I am? What if something inside me is causing all of this?”

She swept her hands over herself, and Abishek considered her with his unflinching gaze. He folded his hands and gave her a serious look.

“I understand why it might feel that way, but these are coincidences. No one person could be responsible for something so devastating. It isn’t possible. No matter how strong an Aazheri you may be, not even you could have caused the blight.”

She hadn’t realized she needed to hear those words so badly. Her shoulders dropped in relief.

“Dhawan was trying to get into your head,” he continued. “He was always a master of manipulation—it is the reason I banished him. He was using his ‘skills’ to turn the nobles’ favor against me so he could seize power for himself. It backfired, and when he realized he was no match for me, he tried to worm his way back into my confidence. He was simply trying to coerce you into following him.”

“It nearly worked,” she admitted. “I almost…”

She stopped and shook her head. She remembered the violent feeling of wanting to embrace her darkness. She’d learned it wasn’t the evil entity she’d first thought, but at that moment, she’d believed in what it could offer her. And she’d wanted that power for herself.

“Zarya, all will be well,” Abishek said. “Kishore may be able to answer some of these questions. Mystics know things about magic that collective memory has forgotten. They know things I only wish I could understand.”

“Thank you,” Zarya said. “I appreciate this.”

Abishek gave her a smile. “Now I’m off to bed, and you should probably do the same.”

She nodded and watched as he left before her gaze wandered to the window and the snow-covered forest. Despite all the king’s assurances, there was something she had to see for herself.

A short while later, Zarya found herself traipsing through the snow, her jacket buttoned and her collar pulled up around her cheeks. Her boots crunched on the hardpack, echoing in the stillness of the forest while the moon hung low and bright in a clear velvet sky.

The end of her nose burned with a nip of frost, and she stamped her feet to generate warmth. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for, but she wanted to test something out.

She stared up, taking in the constellation of stars and the tall evergreens surrounding her on all sides. She couldn’t hear anything save the rush of wind through the branches. The city slept, and the distance drowned out any ambient noise.

Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, she approached a tree. Everything about her magic seemed to connect to forests and what grew from the earth—including the blight in Daragaab and the trees in Gi’ana. Even Rabin was connected to these trees.

She pulled off her glove and then reached out, wrapping her hand around a prickly branch. The soft needles poked at her skin while she filtered out a thread of her sixth anchor.

The dark ribbon of black magic swirled around her, forming clouds of billowing shadows. A moment later, flashes snapped across her vision—the same as always—a wasteland of nothing. Screams and fires. Demon armies marching over scorched earth, their dulled weapons glinting under a weak sun.

The man’s voice, speaking in that language she didn’t understand, but it felt almost like it was within reach today. Something shifted, and she saw him peering at a mirror, studying his reflection. But no, that wasn’t it.

The reflection moved independently, walking in the opposite direction. Not a reflection. It was two different men. Twins . They spoke rapidly, their hands flying and their eyes alight with manic light.

And that’s when she recognized their location. The silver Temple of Starlight stood behind them, stretching to the sky. The twins turned to face a crowd reaching up to them, their cries beseeching as they reached for the Ashvins.

Taaranas .

The lost ancient city.

Her gaze swept up the stepped temple and to the massive star hanging above it, slowly spinning on an axis. Her breath caught. This is what she’d been witnessing all along. She’d been right when she’d asked Abishek about the Hanera Wars.

She was seeing the start. The days before the world fell into ruin.

Zarya gasped and pulled her hand away, stumbling back and falling into the snow. She looked around her, feeling tears press the back of her throat.

The trees surrounding her were dead now.

Everything charred black and rotten, forming a wide, accusing circle.

She had done this.

She had been responsible for everything.

No matter what Abishek claimed, she knew he was wrong.

Surely, you’ve realized by now that you are responsible for all of this?

There was no denying it anymore.

The darkness was following her.