Page 30 of Pretty Broken Wings

Yeah, I do.

I grab her arm, and we stumble back into the hallway. This place is dark, and I don’t know my way around. My toes run into something hard, and I feel around to find a dark staircase away from the noise and pull Jess up. I bump into the handrail, and Jess bumps into me. She giggles. I feel like I’m floating, like everything I was stressed about is suddenly gone. Why don’t I drink more often?

I can feel the rational side of me creeping in, trying to say that Axel always drinks so much on Halloween that he makes himself sick. That he needs someone to take care of him.

I frown. Not this time. I’m not my brother’s keeper. For once, I’m just going to be me—Gage. Not a twin to Axel. Just me.

At the top of the stairs, Jess pulls me toward a doorway. I realize it’s a bedroom in time for her to fall backwards on the bed.

“Should we…” I look around. Are we allowed to be up here?

“Pretty boy,” Jess whines again, opening her arms.

The room is spinning, so I fall onto the bed next to her. The bed bounces up and down, and I fight to gain stability.

I look at the girl beside me. She’s stunning. She has beautiful chocolate hair and skin that is so smooth, I just want to touch it. Not only is she pretty, she’s nice. She listened to me talk about my animals and the fox I’ve been trying to rehabilitate, and even told me about a new book at the library about wild animals that she thought may have a section about foxes. I was always jealous of Axel when he was dating her. I can’t understand why he’d cheat.

Jess looks over at me and smiles. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I grin.

She smiles wider, although I can still feel sadness in her. She’s been sad since Axel, and I just want to fix it.

She’s close. So close that I can see her gaze bounce between my eyes and back down to my mouth. She says it again, slower, “Hey.” Then her tongue darts out, and she licks her lips.

Fuck, is she going to kiss me? God, I want her to kiss me.

Suddenly, nerves dance to light in my stomach.

“Kiss me,” Jess whispers.

Those nerves turn into firecrackers, and that, along with the alcohol, makes me feel hot. I trace my hand along her jaw, feeling the softness of her skin. I watch her eyes, slowly pulling my head closer. I want to soak in this moment. Wipe any last trace of sadness from her eyes. Want to kiss her and for her to kiss me back so hard we can’t pull away. Want to remember it forever.

“Kiss me,” Jess says with more power behind it.

So I do. I press my lips to hers and kiss her. Jess immediately melts back, moaning. She doesn't kiss me back. She just lies there, her lips flaccid.

I pull away. “You okay?”

“Too hot. Take these clothes off.” Jess is thrashing, trying to pull at her clothes.

I frown. Is she uncomfortable?

“Please, A–” she stops, and I freeze.

Was she about to say Axel?

“Actually, I’m just hot. Please, help.” Jess has pulled her shirt off and is wrestling with her bra. And I’m momentarily distracted looking at her breasts. They’re medium-sized but full, two perfect handfuls, and I desperately want her to let me touch them. Want her to shove them in my mouth as she rides me. Maybe shove something else in my mouth, too…

“There.” Jess pulls the bra off, and suddenly, I can see her nipples. The soft brown patches with hardened little nubs. Then, she’s yanking at her pants.

My mouth goes completely dry. Is this happening? Is it really happening?

“Condom.” She pulls a foil packet out of her pocket and shoves it at me.

Okay, so this is happening.

Suddenly, I’m full of nerves. I’ve never done this before. Am I going to be enough for her?